


Tameless

by MlNMOONGlE



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Arguing, Baekchen - Freeform, Blood and Violence, Claiming Bites, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Family Issues, Hunters & Hunting, Jealousy, Knotting, M/M, Modern Werewolves, Mood Swings, Multi, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Rutting, Slow Burn, Supernatural Elements, TaoHun - Freeform, modern story, side relationships include - Freeform, yixsoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:28:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 44,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25385302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MlNMOONGlE/pseuds/MlNMOONGlE
Summary: Jongin’s family lineage goes back hundreds of years when the infamous Salem Witch Trials were at their beginning. With the fear of witches and witchcraft, there came the fear of other supernatural creatures such as vampires, demons, and werewolves, too. The fear that such creatures lived among humans created a mass hysteria that led to the start of witch-hunting and other supernatural beings.During that dark and troubling time, several families came together to create a society that specialized in certain areas of Hunting; some hunted for witches while others focused on vampires or demons even.As for Jongin’s family, the Kims, they specialized in Hunting werewolves.----OR Jongin's a little different but he doesn't know how different he actually is.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 51
Kudos: 140





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HI EVERYONE!! I'm back, finally, with a new story that I hope you all will enjoy. 
> 
> This fic has been in the works for seven months now and I put a lot of effort into it and even created it's own lore (I will share that next chapter or 3rd)! Now I want to point out that the chapters WILL look like "1/?" because this fic was supposed to be a one-shot but because of the plot and details it'll be much longer. Please don't be frightened because of the unknown chapter amount, as it was never supposed to be a chaptered fic. 
> 
> I would like to thank my friends, [Jenna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yonicenini), [Ayana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taoslefteyelid), and [Elle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minniemoments/profile) for helping me with this fic. Each one of them gave me inspiration and pointers and just beta'd the fic and trust me...it's a lot. I can't thank them enough. All three of them are AMAZING writers and creators so please check out their works!!
> 
> Additionally, and most importantly, thank you all for reading. I really hope you'll enjoy reading it as I have writing it! This really is my big baby and have so many ideas and lore for this story!

Jongin always knew he was a little different than others; a little _off_.

At least in comparison to his peers.

He started figuring it out in elementary school when he could hear the other kids whispering mean things about him, mostly about his looks, but it sounded as if they were talking right next to him. There had been several times where his classmates would make a comment and Jongin lash out at them, causing a scene in the middle of storytime. At the time he thought it was rational to do so! He did have uncontrollable hair that always stuck up in odd places - very much like having a permanent bed head - but he brushed his hair every morning, truly! 

There were other times where his peers would pick on him about his complexion, too. Jongin loved playing outside on hot summer days, running around in the backwoods with his brother. The sun loved him very much, and Jongin loved that. So Jongin would always ignore the hateful comments. 

Jongin didn’t mind his messy hair or sun-kissed skin - it’s what made him _him_ , his mother would say and kiss his warm cheeks, but there is one thing that he couldn’t ignore so easily that his peers would tease him about the most over everything else is one of the biggest, and most noticeable and odd thing about him: his eyes. 

Jongin has heterochromia. Ever since he was born his eyes have been two different colors; his right eye is brown while the left is blue. _Much like a dog_ , bullies would tease. He didn’t know why his eyes were like this! _“They’re what makes you, you,_ ” his mother would say again. “ _You’re special, very unique in your own way. Kids won’t understand, and they will say cruel things, Jongin, but you mustn’t believe what they say. You’re a kind, beautiful boy. Never change._ ” It was always like that. Even if Jongin never got the answer he wanted, he cherished her words. She always made him feel...normal.

Still, other kids didn’t see it like that.

Since primary school, a lot of Jongin’s cruel nicknames revolved around dogs.

He’s heard it all. In middle school, it started with, “ _What’re you having for lunch today, Rover? Dog food?_ ”, “ _I think he prefers puppy chow!_ ” Then in the gym, the bullies would shout out typical dog commands like ‘sit’ or ‘rollover’. Sometimes even the gym teacher would giggle.

Throughout middle school, Jongin spent a lot of time alone, but when he started high school things got easier. 

In high school, Jongin already had leverage by being a Kim. The Kim family had been known for being academically gifted. His cousin and brother before him paved the way, leaving a clear path for him to succeed easily with minimal effort; all their previous teachers adored them and thus they adored Jongin by association. Keeping up with his good grades, Jongin then joined the football team where he made a name for himself. 

It didn’t take much effort; with puberty, Jongin was blessed with a body that athletes craved - he still worked out to keep up with his physique, and learning new skills came as natural as breathing so he wasn’t surprised when he was placed as the quarterback.

However, despite being the quarterback of an undefeated football team and a good-looking, popular guy, Jongin isn’t as social as his peers. He only kept a handful of friends near him which was all he really needed and wanted. Large crowds aren’t his thing, and because of this he’s usually referred to as the ‘lone wolf’. 

_That_ nickname he didn’t mind so much.

**➶ ———- ➶**

“Knock it _off_ , Jongdae!” Jongin cries, swatting Jongdae’s hand away from his head. 

This is not how Jongin wants to start the official last day of his senior year of high school: being pestered by his brother first thing in the morning by his brother. Today is supposed to be an exciting day. Jongin’s going to his high school to get all his transcripts so he can start applying for colleges. 

Jongdae slaps Jongin’s hand in return and ruffles his hair again. “It’s not like I’m ruining anything, Nini. Your hair _always_ looks like a mess.”

Jongin wrestles Jongdae’s hands away and places both of his hands flat on his head, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout. “That’s not true!” He whines, even though it’s _absolutely_ true. 

Jongin downcasts his eyes as he pats down his ruffled hair. It really is a messy mop but that’s not something he can help. His hair has always been thick and refuses to stay styled any certain way. Jongin’s even tried putting it up before but even then it looks ridiculous because all the small hairs sticking out everywhere.

However, recently for the new year, Jongin’s gotten a new hairstyle where the sides are shaved down slightly, and it’s longer on top and the back. It seems to be helping control the volume of his unruly hair- not as many hairs on the side of his head sticking out. But still, it’s as if his hair has a mind of its own and refuses to behave and lay flat.

It’s hopeless, really.

“Quit it, ‘Dae. You’re clearly annoying him.” Junmyeon drawls from behind the newspaper. 

Jongdae scoffs and walks away from the table and over to the counter, grabbing the cereal from the top shelf. “What doesn’t annoy him,” he mutters under his breath, but Jongin hears him loud and clear.

His sensitive hearing is a blessing and a curse.

“Thanks…” Jongin mutters to Junmyeon who solely hums in response. 

Junmyeon is Jongin’s cousin and usually the voice of reason. Though, he’s really like a brother to him since the three of them all grew up together. Junmyeon is the oldest out of the three of them; he’s older than Jongdae by a year and older than Jongin by five. 

Jongin and Jongdae live with their extended family consisting of an aunt, uncle, and cousin. They moved to live with them years ago after their parents were found murdered in their home. Jongin thinks he and Jongdae would have been murdered too if they weren’t spending the weekend at their grandparent’s house that fatal night. 

Jongin was young when it happened and doesn’t know the full story of what happened, and sometimes... he feels as if he’s not being told everything about it either. He’s asked his aunt and uncle plenty of time what _really_ happened, insisting that there’s more to what he’s being told but each time his uncle would immediately shut down the conversation; always telling Jongin that he was ‘too young’ to be told the truth, but even now as he’s older, he’s still kept in the dark. 

Jongdae doesn’t even know the exact details and Junmyeon stays silent about the incident altogether. Jongin still remembers the first time he asked Junmyeon almost five years ago and the contorted painful expression on his face before he ignored Jongin and stalked off.

Jongin’s not asked again, though he thinks about it often because their parent’s death remains unsolved. 

He thinks about what having a normal life would be like, too. A life where he still lived in a cozy home with his small family and did the traditional family things like going on vacation somewhere - maybe to the beach - or simply going to the movies together, but Jongin’s family isn't an ordinary family. 

Not by a long shot.

“When do you think the next Hunt will be, ‘Myeon?”

Jongin looks up from his bowl of cereal to his brother then to Junmyeon.

Without looking up from his paper, Junmyeon answers tonelessly. “Probably in a couple of weeks. When Jongin turns eighteen.”

Jongdae groans and drags his feet to the table, bowl, and spoon in hand. “That’s so far away,” he whines.

“Not sure what you want me to do about that.” Junmyeon turns the page, still not looking up from where he’s reading an article.

“Tell your dad to take us sooner.”

“I don’t think so.”

_If only Jongin could make his birthday come sooner_. The reason Jongin can’t have a normal family is also the biggest reason. 

Jongin’s family are Hunters, specifically, _Werewolf Hunters_.

Their lineage goes back hundreds of years when the infamous Salem Witch Trials were at their beginning. With the fear of witches and witchcraft, there came the fear of other supernatural creatures such as vampires, demons, and werewolves, too. The fear that such creatures lived among humans created a mass hysteria that led to the start of a mass hunt for witches _and_ other supernatural beings. 

It was a dark time, especially for those who were innocent. Innocent people accused of being vampires were killed, buried with a wooden stake in their heart and sometimes their families would even burn their organs in fear that they would rise once more and come for their blood. Witches were burned on a stake in the center of town for the townspeople’s viewing pleasure or sometimes those accused of being witches or warlocks would have their feet bound together then tied to a stone and tossed in the river. It was simple, if they died then they weren’t witches or warlocks after all, but if they lived then they were and were murdered anyway.

For werewolves, there were many ways of being slaughtered. Most commonly was being captured and killed by Hunters. During that dark and troubling time, several families came together to create a society that specialized in certain areas of Hunting; some hunted for witches while others focused on vampires or demons even. 

As for Jongin’s family, the Kims, they specialized in Hunting werewolves.

The Kims belong to a werewolf association known as _Society of the Crimson Bridge_ or _S.C.B_ for short. The massacre of the innocent accused of being lupine is unfathomable and the old dictum of the Society, “ _May their Blood create a path to a Purer world_ ” still sends chills down Jongin’s spine. 

Aside from the Kims, there are other families that hunt werewolves that belong to this society. The second most notable are the Dos. _Society of the Crimson Bridge_ is one of the oldest and most respected of all the associations. The Kims pride themselves on this greatly. Junmyeon and Jongdae have been sworn into the society on their eighteenth birthdays while Jongin’s next in line. He can’t wait to take part in the ceremony and not be a bystander. 

He’ll feel like a true Kim then.

Jongdae plops down at the table across from Jongin with the cereal box in hand but before he has a chance to pour himself some cereal Jongin snatches it and pours more of the sugary flakes into his bowl.

“Ya!” Jongdae whines, jerking the box back from Jongin mid-pour causing cereal flakes to spill over the table. “You’ve already had two bowls!”

“Well, I’m _sorry_ for being hungry,” Jongin retorts, rolling his eyes.

“You should be sorry for being a _pig_. You’ve been eating so much lately! Hell, you’ve gone through this box in two days!” Jongdae holds up the empty cereal box that Jongin had just finished off with his first bowl.

It’s true, Jongin has been eating a lot more since the end of last year, and it’s barely the second week into January and his appetite has only gotten more unsustainable.

It’s as if his appetite can’t be satisfied. He wakes up in the middle of the night sweating and hungry, and sometimes it happens multiple times during the night. It’s gotten so bad that he’s kept protein bars next to his bed to settle his stomach. Then in the morning, he eats at least three bowls of cereal or he eats his weight in eggs and bacon. Jongin has no idea what’s going on. He’s even gone to the doctor to get blood work and a physical done but he’s as healthy as a horse.

Junmyeon says it’s because of puberty and he’s growing, but Jongin’s already been through puberty and hasn’t gotten any taller since he was sixteen where he peaked at six feet. His eating habits also haven’t changed in years.

“Aren’t you going to be late for school, Jongin?” Junmyeon lulls, setting the newspaper down and shutting down the argument.

Junmyeon’s always looking out for Jongin. He’s more of a brother to Jongin than a cousin or at least more of a brother than Jongdae is. Jongdae’s always getting under his skin. 

Jongin whips his head to the clock hanging on the wall and scoots his chair out. “Crap!” He shouts and frantically scoops several more messy bites of his cereal into his mouth before he rushes to the sink and dumps the bowl in it, cereal and all. He grabs his bag from the back of his chair and snatches a piece of Junmyeon’s toast ignoring Junmyeon’s displeased ‘hey!’ as he dashes out the sliding glass doors to the backyard with a quick wave.

Going through their backyard and their neighbor’s yard is a lot easier than going around the block. He cuts through yard after yard, having to leap over fences while he shoves the piece of toast in his mouth. He knows he’ll choke one day, but until then, he’s going to keep this up. Jongin makes it over the last fence and lands on the sidewalk. Ahead of him, he sees his best friend, Sehun. It’s normal that this is how they meet up. It has been for a while now.

_It was middle school and Jongin had gone to the archery range for practice with his father as they always did on weekends. Like his father, Jongin preferred the company of a bow and arrow and was training him in the art of archery. His father was an incredible archer; it was as if his bow was just an extension of his arm. He always told Jongin to think of it that way, that his bow is just another part of him._

_As they walked down the aisles of the shooting range, Jongin abruptly stopped when he saw the arrow of an unknown boy with side-swooped brown hair, a crooked jaw, and an upturned nose hit dead center of the target._

_It wouldn’t have been as impressive if there weren’t about three other arrows lodged in the bullseye of the target and another seven planted in the surrounding red zone. From there, Jongin just had to know who this boy was. He had dragged his father along and waited for the boy to be done with his round. When said boy finished and walked out of his stall Jongin immediately bombarded him with praises and compliments as the other shyly accepted them._

It didn’t take long for them to become close friends.

Jongin recognizes Sehun’s talent; he has several awards under his belt, much like Jongin, but where they differ is the type of archery that they’re into. Sehun’s into Field Archery while Jongin participates mostly in 3D Archery. However, soon, Bowhunting will be his specialty.

Still, Sehun’s a prodigy and Jongin’s only equivalent.

“Sehun!” Jongin calls, jogging up to him.

Sehun slows to a stop and takes his earbuds out. He smirks as he looks Jongin up and down. “I think it’s safe to assume you didn’t check yourself in a mirror before you left.”

“If it’s about my hair, Sehun I already know. Jongdae—”

“No, your hair is _always_ a mess. I’m talking about your sweater; it’s on backward, and…” Sehun quirks a brow. “I don’t think that’s your jacket.” He tugs on Jongin’s too-tight jacket.

Red-faced, Jongin looks down at himself. Sure, his sweater is on backward, okay, but how did he manage to grab Jongdae’s jacket?! He thought it felt a little snug, but in all fairness, it used to be his jacket before he grew out of it and gave it to Jongdae.

Jongin hardly ever puts any effort into his looks. He knows he has a nice body and his face is pretty or so he’s been told, but when it comes to clothes he really can’t be bothered wearing the recent trends like Sehun, who always looks like he’s about to walk a runway. Jongin’s fine with blue or black jeans with a plain shirt or sweater. 

It bothers Sehun more than it bothers him.

“Oh. Oops.” Jongin says sheepishly, shrugging the coat off and tossing it to Sehun to hold while he fixes his soft pink sweatshirt. Sehun tuts and hands him the coat again

“One day I’m going to stop walking around with you for your own sake. I’m starting to make you look worse than usual.”

Jongin rolls his eyes and nudges Sehun’s arm. “Well, that won’t be too much longer since I’m graduating early. I’m just going in today for graduation prep or whatever.”

“Lucky…I can’t believe you’re abandoning me.”

“Hey, you had the opportunity to graduate early, too, but you wanted to earn more college credits like a nerd.”

Sehun looks at Jongin, affronted. “I’m anything but a nerd.”

“Yeah, okay, nerd.”

Sehun clicks his tongue and brushes a few strands off his forehead. “Well, whatever. I have more friends to hang out with than just you anyway.”

“My family doesn’t count.”

Jongin grins when Sehun narrows his eyes at him. “I have more friends than just you and your family.”

“Soo doesn’t count either because he’s my friend too, and was my friend first. I’m the reason you guys are friends in the first place.”

“Whatever,” Sehun humphs, immaturely ending the already immature argument. “Anyway, what’re your plans for your birthday?”

Jongin shoves his hands into the pockets of his blue jeans. He doesn’t know why Sehun even bothers to ask because it’s been the same since middle school. Sehun and Kyungsoo are the only ones to ever come to his house for his birthday. His brother and Junmyeon don’t count since they’re obligated to celebrate his birthday. But his parties have always been relatively small.

Jongin thinks Sehun just asks out of courtesy rather than curiosity at this point.

However, this year is different. Jongin’s turning eighteen this year and he’s going on his first Hunting trip with his and Kyungsoo’s family. It’s the tradition in the _Society_ that when one turns eighteen, they must go on a ‘coming of age’ werewolf Hunt.

And Jongin’s anticipating it.

“Yeah, uh, my family and I are actually going away this weekend.”

“What?” Sehun actually stops in his tracks, giving Jongin a bewildered look. “That’s...new?”

Jongin shrugs, kicking a rock down the sidewalk. “I know, but it's my eighteen birthday and all, so it’s kind of special...I’m going on a camping trip with them.”

Sehun side-eyes Jongin. “You’ve never gone on a camping trip with your family in your _life_.”

Jongin scoffs. “Yeah, I have? I just...don’t tell you about them.”

“You’re lying,” Sehun accuses.

“It’s just a camping trip. They took Junmyeon and Jongdae on a trip for their eighteenth birthday too…”

“You never told me about those.”

“I guess I just forgot.” Jongin shrugs it off.

There’s no way for Jongin to tell Sehun that he’s going on a werewolf hunting trip. One, he’s sure Sehun would freak out if he knew, and two, he doesn’t want to explain to Sehun his family’s history.

The two continue to walk and talk on their way to school.

**➶ ———- ➶**

It’s Thursday night and Jongin, along with Jongdae and Junmyeon, are sitting on the large sectional sofa in the living room. His uncle, Mr. Kim, sits on the adjacent lounge and clicks through a slideshow, but not just any slideshow.

It’s a family heritage slideshow.

Junmyeon is the only one who seems interested, almost proud as his father clicks and clicks and clicks through picture after picture and explains the rich, detailed history of their ancestors. Jongin and Jongdae, however, are slouched on the sofa fighting to keep their eyes open. 

They’re at this for a couple of hours now and Jongin’s two slides away from dozing off. Jongin doesn’t really do much on the weekends, but Jongin _does_ do things a little more exciting than watching a presentation of his family’s history. Especially on his birthday weekend. As tradition would have it, Sehun would come over to spend a long weekend with him as they stay up late building legos or binge-watching scary movies at Jongin’s request while stuffing their face full of junk food.

So this...This is mind-numbingly boring. It’s too much talking and not enough action. Jongin’s anxious to get out there and _hunt_.

“Jongin, are you listening?” His uncle abruptly asks, startling him.

Jongin perks up, sitting up a little straighter. “Wha—Yes. Yes, sir,” he answers, but the disappointed look on his uncle’s face tells him that he doesn’t believe him. Not one bit.

“This is most important to you, _Jongin_ .” His uncle starts sternly. “Tomorrow night will be your first _Hunt_ as an adult. It’s something that your brother and Junmyeon have all successfully accomplished on their eighteenth birthdays.” 

Jongin looks from Jongdae to Junmyeon. Junmyeon’s prideful expression mirrors Jongdae’s smug look but with more elegance.

Jongin sinks into the couch and crosses his arms over his chest. “I'm sorry, but I’m just not interested in all this history stuff,” he whines like the almost-adult he is. “I want to be out there _doing_ , not sitting here _listening_ to a history lesson.”

There’s a dramatic gasp from Jongdae and a judgmental hum from Junmyeon. The two of them look to Mr. Kim for his response.

“This ‘ _history lesson_ ’ is necessary for you to join the _Society of the Crimson Bridge_ , Jongin.” His uncle chides. “Do you wish to disappoint your family? If you fail to understand your past, then you won’t know your future so what will you tell your wife, your _family_ when you settle down and have children of your own and they ask you about the _Great Hunt_?”

_Nothing_ Jongin wants to say because he doesn’t plan on having a wife, let alone children. “It’s not like that, Uncle. I just don’t see the point of going over all this...” _Again,_ is what he wants to add. Jongin has sat through these multiple times, though his uncle doesn’t know that. When his brother and Junmyeon turned eighteen, Jongin would sneak into the living room and watch the presentation by peeking behind the sofa or watch from the staircase. His brother knew, Jongdae even spotted him once, but didn't say anything at the time. Back then Jongin was a lot more interested in their family’s history, but now he’s over it and all he wants to do is get out there and hunt. To get his own wolf head to flaunt and be proud of- to make his uncle proud. 

“You come from a long line of proud Kims, Jongin!” His uncle stands, his voice rising as he does. 

Jongin flinches. He hates being yelled at. 

“We’re the top of the top, how do you fail to see that? Do you not care about the bloodshed your ancestors sacrificed to become the best? Your lineage is a proud one, and to not care about the history of such great accomplishments is just—”

“Father,” Junmyeon interrupts, his voice calm as usual. His uncle glares at him as if to challenge him, but Junmyeon doesn’t flinch. “I don’t believe that Jongin lacks appreciation for our ancestors and their triumphs, but that he just doesn’t fully comprehend the historical significance of this tradition. He’s still young and has a lot to learn.”

“I—” Jongin starts but Jongdae subtly elbows his side. Jongin grabs his side, ready to whine but Jongdae shakes his head gravely.

“He’s just not interested in the history of our family’s beginnings because he has yet to have experienced the thrill of the Hunt. He has reminded us all numerous times that he’s excited about” Junmyeon continues, eying Jongin as he stands up and approaches his father. “Not once has he ever been on a _Hunt_ with us, so he doesn’t know how exhilarating it is to hunt down one of those feral bastards. Thus, doesn’t understand how fascinating the history behind why we hunt truly is.” Junmyeon finishes with elegance rivaling that of a king. 

Everything about Junmyeon screams posh; from his black, silky hair that’s always perfectly styled, parted to the side and pushed back. The way his clothes are pressed and tucked, the way he carries himself with poise. He stands with grace and keeps his expression as impassive as always. Jongin wonders if anything truly ever bothers him. Even when he relaxes and let’s loose and he’s making terrible dad jokes he still has a calm essence about him.

Jongin envies how in control he is at all times.

Mr. Kim takes a breath and relaxes his shoulders, nodding. “You’re absolutely right, son. There’s a reason you’re my favorite.”

Jongin knows he’s never been, nor ever will be, his uncle’s favorite and that’s fine with him, but for Jongdae their uncle’s approval and praise is everything to him. While Jongin had always been a mommy’s boy, Jongdae was quite attached to their dad. 

So when Jongin glances over at a crestfallen Jongdae, he’s not surprised. Jongin stopped fighting for his uncle’s attention a couple of years ago when he never earned praise from him despite proving himself athletically, academically - including graduating early - and even outshining Junmyeon once or twice. 

Junmyeon has and always will be the clear favorite among them despite their efforts to win their uncle’s favoritism, and at the end of the day, Junmyeon is his son so it’ll always be Junmyeon in the light.

Part of Jongin feels bad for Jongdae.

“Jongin,” Mr. Kim’s stern voice pulls him out of his haze.

Jongin sits up straight. “Sir?”

“You’ll experience the hunt soon enough,” he says, sitting back down. “But for now, I want you to pay attention from here on out. I will test you at the end, understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

The night is long and tiresome and goes on after the history lesson is over. They end up staying up late with drinks (except for Jongin) to talk and reminisce, and discuss the future, especially for the _Society_. Plans of Junmyeon taking over after his father is the biggest conversation they have. Jongin watches as Junmyeon lights up and Jongdae becomes stiff and quiet, more strained the more they talk about it. Jongdae never speaks of it, but he wonders if things would be different if their father were still around and if it would be him taking over the Society rather than Junmyeon.

After all, their father was the head of the Society with their uncle being second in command.

Traditionally, within the society, Jongdae would be next in line, but because they’ve been adopted by their aunt and uncle, they’re merely seen as brothers which the oldest gets to take over first. If they were older at the time of their parent's death then things would be different.

Jongin knows Jongdae’s brought it up to Junmyeon once or twice offhandedly, but it’s always been brushed off as ‘tradition is tradition’ and in this family tradition is everything.

As much as Jongdae bothers Jongin, which is usually all the time, he’s still his brother and doesn’t like seeing him so dejected, but there’s nothing he can do.

Jongin finishes his hot cocoa before he excuses himself to his room. 

**➶ ———- ➶**

The day of the _Grand Hunt_ finally arrives.

Jongin barely sleept a wink last night from anticipation and trepidation. It’ll be his birthday _and_ the night of his first real Hunt. Just the thought of hunting down and slaying a giant beast such as a werewolf has his heart racing. Part of the reasons he didn't sleep well last night is because he spent most of the night mass texting Kyungsoo about how excited he is and asking him what to expect until Kyungsoo finally stopped responding. It was a good hour before Jongin finally passed out, having left his TV and Switch on. 

Though, even once he had fallen asleep, it wasn’t a peaceful rest. All night he was plagued with nightmares that woke him up almost every hour, and he even woke up crying at one point.

Jongin sits up in his bed, his body covered in sweat and his head pounding. The nightmare lingers freshly on his mind.

_He’s in the living room of his old house with his mother and father. He’s sitting on the floor, his favorite bear and wolf plushies laying in front of him. Jongin fails his arms out to grab the stuffed wolf, smiling brightly at his parents. His father looks at him from the couch, smiling, where his mother is sitting, crocheting. With wide, innocent eyes, Jongin admires his father as he always did. His hero._

_But then, his father’s expression graves and the room becomes cold._

_His father looks tired and pale._

_Jongin frowns. “Dad?”_

_“This isn’t you,” His father says dauntingly._

_“What?” Jongin’s brows furrow, his bright eyes glassy from unshed tears. “Daddy?” His voice wobbles._

_In the next moment, Jongin is his current self, standing alone in the middle of a forest. It’s dark and reeks of blood. In his hands, the wolf plush begins to wiggle and squirm in his hold before dropping it. The plush grows and grows until it morphs into a large, large wolf, a head taller than Jongin. Its eyes are red as blood with fur black as coal._

_The wolf’s eyes are captivating and Jongin can’t seem to look away as if he’s in a trance._

_“This isn’t you”. His father’s voice repeats in a soft echo. “This isn’t you.”_

_Then, the wolf’s glowing blue eyes stop boring into Jongin’s, and the beast looks to the side. Jongin follows its gaze and gasps when he sees his uncle standing with his gun raised, a large wolf pelt draped over him. It takes Jongin a moment to realize where his uncle is aiming._

_His gun is aimed for him._

_Frightened, Jongin steps back, tripping over him as the giant wolf moves in front of him and giving Jongin a chance to run. He runs and runs until he trips. Jongin scrambles to turn to see what he’d tripped over. His mouth gaps and eyes widen in horror._

_His parents. Their lifeless bodies piled together._

_Suddenly, his uncle appears in front of him, a wicked grin on his face as he raises his gun once more taking aim at him. Jongin can’t move, even as he stares down the barrel of the rifle. Jongin shuts his eyes, waiting until he hears the most heart trembling growl and blood-curdling scream he’s ever heard. Opening his eyes the large wolf is mauling his uncle and Jongin can’t do anything but watch._

_Then everything goes silent and the wolf turns to look at Jongin, blood dripping from its thick black fur. It growls and heads toward Jongin, growling loudly._

_Then he wakes up._

Jongin wipes the tears from his eyes and off his cheeks with his hands. He can’t stop the tears that are spilling. His heart hurts so much, an indescribable feeling - one he’s never experienced before. As if he’s helpless to stop something that never truly happened. 

He reaches for the old water bottle on his nightstand, knocking over his phone and some miscellaneous objects in the process. He gulps down the rest of the water as he tries to calm down.

The dream felt so real. Sounded so real. He thinks of the wolf in his dream, or was it a werewolf? Why didn’t it attack him? What did his father mean ‘this isn’t you’? And why was his uncle about to kill him?

By the time he’s calmed down enough, Jongin still can’t figure out the dream and it leaves him unnerved. 

He doesn’t sleep well for the rest of the night.

**➶ ———- ➶**

Jongin’s still shaken up over his dream from last night. Even as he packs for the trip he’s been anticipating for weeks he does it slowly as his mind drifts back to images of the wolf and the evil in his uncle’s eyes. All morning he hasn’t been able to look his uncle in the eyes. He’s barely spoken a word to him.

Once they’re all packed up, the four of them head out to the mountains referred to as the _Ashes_ by Societies and Guilds alike.

Historically, the _Ashes_ is where the werewolves escaped to after the witch trials ceased. It’s a vast area spreading into woods and valleys just at the base of Howler mountain. It’s where the werewolves now reside, but only a few know of the _Ashes'_ existence. Only those in the Societies know of them.

Jongin steps out of the house and looks to the sky. It’s overcast with the clouds darkening overhead. It’ll probably snow when they get to the mountains. During this time of year, the weather is cold and harsh and is usually snowing heavily near the mountains. This time of year is also when some werewolves will be hibernating, however, the alphas will be out scavenging for food for the pups and pack. It’s the alphas that they’re after so it’s the perfect time to hunt them when they’re weak from lack of food sources and in fewer numbers.

“Hey, dingus!” Jongdae calls, making Jongin look over his shoulder at him. “ Hurry and put your stuff in the jeep. I want to make sure mine sits on top of yours.”

Jongin frowns. “I don’t want yours on top of mine! You’ll crush my snacks!”

Jongdae chuckles and walks past Jongin. “Then I guess you’ll have to take Junmyeon’s spot, and we both know how much he’ll _love_ that.”

Jongin glares at Jongdae. He hates when he plays these little games with him. He knows Junmyeon will get angry if he puts his own stuff in Junmyeon’s spot! Jongdae stares at him with a grin and darts his eyes to the empty spot in the back of the jeep, silently motioning for Jongin to comply. 

With a heavy sigh and not so subtle pout, Jongin trudges over to the back and slides his duffle bag into the back which he barely has a second to adjust before Jongdae tosses his back on top. Jongin shoves his arm only to get shoved back and they squabble for a moment until their uncle comes out and commands them to stop, which they do immediately. 

“Get in. I don’t want to make the Doh’s wait.”

Jongin smiles knowing that the Dohs will be hunting with them. It makes him feel less anxious because Kyungsoo will be here. Kyungsoo is Mr. Doh’s son and one of Jongin’s long term friends. Jongin and Kyungsoo have been friends since they were little. Their families have known each other for years, maybe decades, and even in recent years their families will come over to each other’s houses for meetings or get-togethers, sometimes even holidays. 

And Sehun might be Jongin’s best friend, and also a friend of Kyungsoo too, but Jongin holds a different bond with Kyungsoo. Something that Sehun can never relate to, even if they explained it. With the Kims and Doh’s being Hunters, it’s nothing Sehun could fully comprehend, Jongin thinks, so it stays a secret between Jongin and Kyungsoo.

The two of them get in the back and buckle their seatbelts when Junmyeon waltz out with his gear and places it in the back. Once they’re all settled in they take off. 

The drive to the cabin is long. It takes half a day to get there so when they finally arrive it’s close to seven at night. Jongin stirs awake as they take the last turn up the rocky road and reach the Doh’s cabin. The snow is already thick and covering most of the driveway so they have to drive slowly, but as soon as they see the cabin they notice that the lights are on so that means that the Dohs must have arrived already and parked their car in the garage.

Making it up the long driveway, Mr. Kim parks the vehicle and they start unloading the jeep. Soon enough, Kyungsoo and his father come out to greet them and help unload their belongings.

“Mister Kim!” Mr. Doh shouts from the doorstep, as friendly as ever, elongating his name for emphasis of his delight. 

Mr. Doh is a short man with buzzed hair and wears glasses. He’s a little on the pudgier side but has no problems getting around. Every time Jongin sees Mr. Doh, he thinks about how Kyungsoo resembles him in so many ways. Jongin’s sure it’s like seeing what middle-aged Kyungsoo will look like and it makes him laugh. Especially when Kyungsoo disagrees wholeheartedly. 

“Long time no see! It’s been what? Two years since the last _Great Hunt_?” Mr. Doh calls out as he walks down the steps.

Mr. Kim laughs and smiles wide, sticking his hand out to grip Mr. Doh’s and shakes firmly. “Yep. Two years, my friend. Last time we were here it was Jongdae’s eighteenth birthday.”

“That’s right! And now it’s little Jongin’s coming of age ceremony, right?” Mr. Doh asks, looking at Jongin expectantly.

Jongin perks up. “What?” he answers dumbly, not following the full conversation being more worried about if his snacks are broken (and they are). 

“Show some respect, boy.” Mr. Kim chides, glaring at Jongin, but Mr. Doh steps in, laughing cheerfully.

“It’s fine, Myung-Dae!” Mr. Doh chuckles. “You’re always so serious. No need for formalities all the time, right? We’re practically family!” 

Mr. Kim glares at Jongin for a moment longer before looking at Mr. Doh with a wide, forced smile. “Right,” he grits through his teeth.

“Marvelous! Well, let’s get you boys inside before you freeze to death!” Mr. Doh is always so kind and warm. It amazes Jongin that Mr. Doh’s lineage lines up with the Kims. It’s difficult to imagine Mr. Doh hunting because to Jongin, Mr. Doh wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Everyone makes it into the cabin and takes their own bags to the room where they’ll be staying. Mr. Kim and Mr. Doh will get their own room while Junmyeon and Jongdae share a room, and Jongin gets to share a room with Kyungsoo.

“Hey,” Jongin says, smiling his kind, pretty smile.

Kyungsoo’s sitting on the edge of his bed with his back facing the door. He looks over his shoulder at Jongin and smiles wide in return. Jongin adores his heart-shaped smile.

“Hi,” Kyungsoo says and stands up. “Here, let me grab a bag.”

“Thanks!” Jongin shoves two of the four bags into Kyungsoo's arms. He huffs a laugh at Kyungsoo's disgruntled face and smiles sheepishly when Kyungsoo gives him the evil eye all the way inside. Jongin finally apologizes as soon as he walks into their shared room.

In their room, there are two twin beds on either side of the room with matching side tables and lamps. Kyungsoo’s already claimed the bed closest to the door, leaving Jongin with the bed next to the window. There’s a shared closet on the wall in front of him right next to the door to the connecting bathroom.

It's cramped but cozy.

Jongin sets his bags down on his bed and Kyungsoo drops the other two on the floor. “Thank you,” Jongin says again and starts unzipping one of the bags.

“You already thanked me,” Kyungsoo says warmly, smiling fondly.

“I know, but I’m just so, _so_ thankful for you,” Jongin teases, reaching out to ruffle Kyungsoo’s fluffy, red hair. 

Kygunsoo swats his hand away. “You’re eighteen now. You no longer get away with acting cute.”

Jongin grins playfully. “You think I’m cute?”

Kyungsoo gives Jongin a look. “Let’s just say, thank god you grew into your nose.”

Jongin immediately covers his nose, brows furrowed with a frown on his face. “What’s wrong with my nose?!”

Kyungsoo only chuckles as he goes back to his bed, ignoring his distraught friend. Jongin turns around, still frowning and mumbling under his breath about how his nose isn’t that big! It’s normal, in fact, it’s a really cute button nose.

Jongin continues to pout as he begins to unpack his bags. He’s just gotten his shirts laid out on his bed to put in the dresser before Kyungsoo plops right next to them. A couple of his shirts crumple under his weight. 

“Hey! Do you know how long it took me to make them that neat…” Jongin whines.

“Hush,” Kyungsoo says, holding out a small box. “Here.”

Jongin looks at the white and silver box that’s decorated with a pretty blue bow on top for a moment before he tentatively takes it from Kyungsoo’s palm. 

“What’s this?” Jongin asks dumbly, holding the box as if it will break with any sudden movement.

“A gift, you dummy. Now open it.”

“You didn’t have to…” Jongin whispers, almost wistfully. Looking at the gift and how neatly Kyungsoo wrapped it and with such care that Jongin doesn’t want to open it and ruin it. He’s also still in awe at the small gesture. He rarely gets gifts. Well, at least from his aunt and uncle. The two of them are not big on celebrating birthdays or holidays, aside from the traditional eighteenth birthday. Though, when they do decide to give gifts, they’re usually hunting related. Which, Jongin is grateful for because some of the gadgets are high-tech and expensive, but it gets tiring when everything has to be about hunting.

“Of course I did,” Kyungsoo says softly, looking up at Jongin.

Jongin bites his lip and without any further hesitation, he quickly unwraps the box to reveal a small jewelry box. He gives one quick look to Kyungsoo who nods for him to continue with a warm smile on his face.

“I hope you like it,” Kyungsoo says as Jongin lifts the lid.

Inside is a necklace; a light sterling silver chain with a small pendant on it. Jongin looks closer and sees that the pendant is a modern style silver arrowhead. It’s truly a simple but stunning gift, so thoughtful even that Jongin feels his eyes water just from thinking about how attentive Kyungsoo was to get him a gift like it. If anyone knows of Jongin’s passion for archery, it’s Kyungsoo. 

Jongin looks down at Kyungsoo and smiles a wide, loving grin. “Soo, I love it! It’s… amazing. Thank you.”

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to go traditional or modern with an arrowhead, so I went modern… I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s perfect,” Jongin trills and hurries to get the necklace out from the box.

Kyungsoo smiles adoringly. “It’s real silver, so it won’t turn your skin green. I swear.”

“I’d love it even if it did,” Jongin says because it’s true. He’s not sure he’s ever loved a gift more. Rushing to try it on, Jongin discards his scarf as he heads into the bathroom, flicking on the light to stand in front of the mirror. Jongin clasps the hooks together and immediately he loves what he sees. The necklace hangs low so the pendant sits just below his collarbone. The arrowhead is heavy and grounding; Jongin finds comfort in it, and he loves the contrast of the light silver on his sun-kissed skin.

“Ah, I love it, Soo!” He calls out. “Thank you,” he whispers to himself.

“Did you look on the back of the pendant?” Kyungsoo asks when Jongin emerges from the bathroom.

Blinking cluelessly, Jongin’s hand slides off the light switch and he takes hold of the pedant, flipping it to the other side. There are letters and numbers engraved on the back. Jongin sees that it’s his initials and his birth date. He smiles wide looking at the small detail. “You really went all out on this, didn’t you?”

Kyungsoo laughs. “You only turn eighteen once.”

“Sehun’s going to be so mad that your gift outdid his.”

“What did he get you?”

“This scarf,” Jongin says, picking it up and tossing it on his bed. 

“It’s a nice scarf,” Kyungsoo comments. “But I’m glad you like your gift.”

“ _Love_ ,” Jongin corrects. He still has the pendant in his hold.

“Well, I’m glad you _love_ it," Kyungsoo says, smiling beautifully at Jongin. His little heart-shaped smile makes Jongin's tummy fill with butterflies. "And happy early birthday," Kyungsoo adds. "But I’m going to get a couple of hours nap before the Hunt. I think you should do the same.”

“Good idea,” Jongin says, and walks to his bed and places the few shirts that he had unpacked back in his bag. He’ll deal with it later. 

As Jongin undresses he leaves the necklace on, swearing to himself that he’ll never remove it for any reason, and starts his promise by wearing it when he sleeps. Kyungsoo’s already snuggled in his bed with his lamp out by the time Jongin crawled into his own bed.

He sets two alarms and gazes out the window.

The moon is full, bright, and alluring. Jongin can’t take his eyes off it. As he stares out the window he plays with the pendant between his fingers and thinks about how in just a few hours he will officially be eighteen and be out on his first Hunt ever. 

The excitement is almost too much for him to fall asleep, and it’s only after half an hour or so later that he manages to doze off.

———- 

Waking up and getting ready is harder than Jongin thought it would be.

Kyungsoo ended up having to wake him as he slept through both his alarms.

Jongin stays put in his bed for a few more minutes while Kyungsoo leaves to go eat breakfast. He feels _exhausted_ as if he didn't sleep a wink - just like the other night - and on top of that, he’s suddenly not feeling too well. His muscles are sore and his joints ache, and his head hurts, too. He thinks it’s just from sleeping on the old mattress that hasn’t been changed in years or maybe he tossed and turned too much in his sleep. It’s mainly his neck and shoulder muscles that ache the most and he's sure it's nothing that a few stretches could fix. Jongin sits on the side of the bed and stretches his arms high above his head to work out any kinks. It’s what he’s concerned about most since he’ll be handling a bow all night.

Unfortunately, stretching doesn’t help much and neither do the floor stretches he attempts to loosen up. In fact, it only makes him feel light-headed.

Jongin gives up on stretching and languidly gets dressed in his Hunting gear; a thick black long-sleeve turtleneck, dark camouflage cargo pants with the ends tucked inside his ankle-high boots. He grabs his jacket from one of his duffle bags along with his gloves and beanie, too. 

With a heavy yawn, Jongin stumbles into the hallway, catching himself on the wall to steady himself before he regains his composure. At the same time, his uncle enters the hallway just ahead of him. His uncle stops to look at him with his normal disapproving stare. Somehow it feels colder.

Jongin always feels small under his uncle’s glare. He can never keep eye-contact with him and is always the first to look away. He doesn’t look up until he hears his uncle’s boots clanking against the wood flooring. With a sigh, Jongin follows in his uncle’s wake as he makes his way into the kitchen where everyone else is already eating. Jongin walks past his uncle and as he does he looks over his shoulder to where his uncle is at the safe that’s welded to the wall next to the fireplace. He’s not sure what possesses him, but Jongin stops and watches him unlock the safe, opening it to display all types of weapons: guns, bows, crossbows, rifles, and other hunting gadgets. 

Then his uncle grabs a rifle and cocks it before he turns around to stare right at Jongin with mean narrow eyes - glaring at him. 

Jongin quickly ducks his head, turning away and heads to the kitchen where everyone else is.

He swears he hears his uncle chuckle.

———-

After breakfast and some more packing, the two families grab their bags and head out.

Mr. Doh yells back to the others that the steps are slippery and to be careful. Everyone hears him, and Jongin’s mindful to be cautious, but at the last step, a sharp pain pulses in his head and he slips.

Luckily he gets his hands out in front of him to catch his fall.

“Whoa there, clumsy!” Jongdae cackles and steps over him. “Better get that out of your system now before the Hunt.”

Jongin gives Jongdae a dirty look, not that he sees it, and sits on his knees. He stares down at the palms of his hands. They’re a little scraped up with a pulse of heat that stings, but it’s nothing too serious, however, the fall hurt a lot more than it should.

His joints are still aching despite the number of pain relievers he took after breakfast. He’s still feeling fatigued, his muscles are still stiff and unmanageable. It’s as if his muscles have a mind of their own and his whole body just feels _off_.

Kyungsoo stops to help Jongin up. As Jongin stands, Junmyeon passes by with his father, merely glancing at him as he does. It feels as if he’s being looked down upon and he can’t stand it.

“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo asks, dusting Jongin off.

“Yeah...I just slipped on some ice or whatever.” Jongin grumbles and grabs his stuff off the ground.

There’s not another incident like that as they finish packing up the Doh’s SUV. 

Jongin ends up squished in the back with Kyungsoo while his brother and cousin sit in the mid-seats ahead of them with Mr. Doh driving and Mr. Kim in the passenger seat. It’s quiet in the car aside from the few idle conversations that Jongin doesn’t care to listen in on. He keeps his focus on the blurry landscape that passes, staring out the window as he thinks back to his dream, feeling as if he now has a moment to play it out properly. The image of his uncle pointing his rifle at him shakes him up more than it should, more so than seeing his parents’ dead bodies. For some reason, that image doesn’t frighten him but angers him. It angers him, but it’s not the same anger he’s felt before. It’s something heavier, darker - something that feels out of his control. It feels as if something else within him is angry and Jongin has to keep it from raging forth. 

Closing his eyes, Jongin concentrates on that anger, channeling the bitterness he feels thinking back to his dream as if he’d be able to make a connection. He sees his parent’s bodies vividly, he feels the warmth of their blood contrasting the coldness in the air. A sadness pings in his chest before a fury takes hold. Memories of his uncle’s acrimony towards him over the years; the sharp hatred Jongin thinks he harbors for him.

Jongin sees a flash of blue in his head before he sees red and then he’s being shaken from his thoughts. With a gasp, Jongin whips his head to turn and look at Kyungsoo, who’s looking at him perplexed.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo says softly, trailing his eyes up and down his body. “Are you okay? You’re sweating…”

Jongin wipes his forehead with the back of his hand and nods. “Yeah, I’m just…”

“Are you nervous?” Kyungsoo offers, whispering.

Jongin’s eyes widen before he quickly smiles rather sheepishly, bringing a hand to feel for the arrowhead pendant under his coat. “A little,” he says. It’s not a complete lie, but there’s no reason for him to tell Kyungsoo about his dream. “But I’m just as excited, too,” he adds quickly. “Though…” Jongin pauses. He probably shouldn’t tell Kyungsoo that he’s feeling unwell. That his whole-body aches as if he has the flu and that his head is throbbing with pain, but Kyungsoo’s looking at him expectantly so he settles for saying, “...My stomach hurts just a little.”

Kyungsoo smiles tenderly. “It’s probably from nerves. I felt the same way the first time. It’ll go away.”

Nodding, Jongin looks down at his lap. “I hope so….”

“It will,” Kyungsoo assures, resting his hand on top of Jongin’s knee to squeeze it comfortingly.

Jongin smiles, but as soon as he turns back to the window it fades. He swears he sees his eyes burn blue in his reflection.

———- 

They finally make it to the valley of _Ashes._

They all pile out of the vehicle and Jongin’s the last to get out.

When he steps out of the vehicle, he’s awestruck by the scenery. The outer edges of the forest are calm, a wall of trees surround the valley opening. The full moon is high in the clear night sky, casting a soft light onto the snowy floor making it appear as if it's glowing. There’s a blanket of fresh snow glistening over the valley and from what Jongin can see, there’s not a single print in the snow aside from the ones they’re currently making.

This area…. It’s breathtaking. 

It feels mystical. 

Jongin stares for another moment or two as a strange feeling course through him; he feels nostalgic, but why? He’s never been here before, so why does he feel as if he has? A strange feeling washes over him. A sudden urge to drop everything and run out into the field and dash through the snow is overwhelming that he finds himself whining as he keeps himself from acting upon his desires.

Then there’s a pat on his shoulder and it startles him. 

“Jongin, hurry, and grab your gear. My father is waiting.” Junmyeon directs before he walks off.

Jongin puts a hand over his thumping heart. “Y-yeah, okay…” he whispers to himself and makes his way to the back of the vehicle.

Everyone else has already grabbed their gear and it’s just Jongin’s stuff sitting in the back. He grabs his duffle bag and goes to reach for his bow, but he realizes that it’s gone. His chest tightens as his eyes widen. Did he forget his bow?! There’s no way he could have done something that stupid! No, he strictly remembers grabbing it, so where-- 

Then. Mr. Kim walks around from the side of the car and once again, Jongin’s spooked and he drops his bag in the snow.

“Oh my god,” Jongin breathes, bending down to grab his bag. “Can everyone stop sneaking up on me?” He huffs and reaches to grab his bag and as he does he recognizes the boots that are planted next to him. Immediately Jongin stands up, almost dropping his bag again and straightens up. “Uh, sorry, sir.” Jongin murmurs.

“Jongin,” Mr. Kim says tonelessly.

Mr. Kim isn’t a man of many words, so when he speaks there’s never any passion behind it unless it concerns Hunting or their family’s history. He’s meticulous and calculative and never does anything without a reason. His uncle doesn’t normally address him like this; there’s never been much one-on-one between the two of them like he does with Junmyeon or Jongdae, so for his uncle to seek him out makes Jongin feel a mix of emotions. Nervous, excited, confused, scared.

But Jongin’s not going to let those emotions get in the way of a rare one-on-one with his uncle. Jongin straightens up and gives Mr. Kim his full undivided attention. “Yes?”

“Here,” Mr. Kim says and suddenly there’s a heavy object being shoved into his arms.

Jongin blinks, confused until he realizes what exactly he’s holding. Then, his eyes go _wide_.

Without a second thought Jongin recognizes the bow as the hand-laid, thermoset carbon bow. It’s one of the best bows on the market solely for its design, but there’s much, much more to it than its sleek looks. The bow is made from a strong carbon that reduces vibrations _and_ is lightweight. A lot lighter than the one Jongin carries now. It's lethal accuracy and durability make it the ideal bow of choice for hunting, and, to top it off, this specific type is meant for cold-weather. It’ll be more than _perfect_ for tonight, Jongin thinks, and or any other night, too.

It’s gorgeous and Jongin’s already in love with it.

“Is this… Is this for me?” Jongin asks, aghast as he holds the bow into his hands. He can’t tear his eyes away, afraid that if he even blinks it’ll just be a dream that he’s in.

“Of course, it is,” Mr. Kim replies, impassively. “It’s your coming of age present. I expect you’ll know how to handle it?”

“Y-yes, sir. I do. Thank—”

Mr. Kim holds up his hand. “Don’t thank me until you’ve taken down one of those feral bastards yourself.” The smirk his uncle gives him is the closest thing Jongin will ever receive to a genuine smile from him.

“Understood, sir.” Jongin nods in affirmation, grinning ear to ear. 

“Well, hurry up. I need to say a few things before we all head out.” Mr. Kim leaves, but not without patting his shoulder.

Jongin takes a moment to himself to gleefully inspect the piece.

It’s so delicate yet so strong. Jongin brings the bow up and peers through the peep sight, checking the range of the bow. He hooks the bowstring to his release wrist strap and pulls. As he figured, it goes back smoothly. He releases the hook and the bowstring flings forward effortlessly. Just to try it out, Jongin giddily scrambles for his quiver and slides an iron will broadhead arrow from it and hooks it to the bowstring. He pulls back once more and checks his range. He’ll probably want to stick to a 20-yard range, though the range goes up to 60. 

A large, delighted smile sprawls across his face as he practically vibrates in place. Jongin doesn’t shoot the arrow, he doesn’t want to waste it unless it’s on a werewolf, so he slides it back into his quiver. He can’t wait to use it, it’s truly a magnificent piece.

Suddenly, the proud grin he was bearing is wiped clean off his face when a sharp pain stings in deep inside his chest, and he barrels over, cradling his bow to his chest with one hand as he lands on his knees. His chest feels tight and it hurts to breathe. He feels lightheaded like he can’t catch his breath and his heart is going to pound out of his chest.

He falls back in the snow. What’s going on? Is this a heart attack? Stroke? What’s happening? Just as Jongin’s about to shout for help the pain ceases. It’s gone. As if it was never there to begin with.

Jongin sits back against the bumper of the SUV, trying to catch his breath as he stares up at the crystal night sky through unshed tears. He has no idea what’s wrong with him, and it’s starting to scare him, but he doesn’t want to ruin this night. 

He can make it through just tonight.

Jongin hears his name being called and he manages to get himself up albeit shakily. He feels weak and lightheaded, but he can’t let that show. He dusts the snow off his gear before trudging over to the others where they’re all gathered just outside the clearing. He stands next to Kyungsoo as his uncle and Mr. Doh take turns talking; explaining the territories that they’re going to split into and when they should meet back up.

They had already discussed most of the details the night before so there’s not much left to say other than the expectations. The plan is to hunt all night. From now until the break of dawn they’ll be out hunting then meet back at the vehicle. If no one has caught a werewolf by then, then they’ll relocate and try tomorrow night. 

Junmyeon and Jongdae are together while Mr. Kim and Mr. Doh will partner up, so that leaves Jongin and Kyungsoo as a team.

Jongin’s ecstatic to be paired with Kyungsoo.

“Alright, boys - no, _men_ , this hunting trip is the same as usual, however, we have a couple of new additions. First, Jongin, you and I have spoken privately. You know I expect great things from you and the head of a beast on your return. You won’t disappoint me.”

Jongin nods in affirmation. A jolt of adrenaline pulsing in his veins. 

“Very good. Next, you will be setting out these.”

Mr. Doh walks up to stand next to Mr. Kim, putting down a heavy sack. It clunks when it hits the ground. Jongin looks from the sack and up to his uncle, who’s smile stretches ear to ear. Taking a glance at the others, everyone looks just as curious, that is, except for Junmyeon.

Mr. Kim’s amused chuckle catches Jongin’s attention. “Men, the Society has been given permission to set up bear traps this season.”

Jongin hears Kyungsoo and Jongdae gasp beside him. 

“I thought these were illegal?” Kyungsoo says, not sounding impressed at all. 

“Illegal _and_ inhumane,” Jongdae adds.

Looking at them for just a moment, Jongin then looks back to his uncle for an answer. He had no idea that these were ever used in the Hunts. He knows hunters use them for bears, but for _werewolves_? It’s not a bad idea, Jongin thinks, a catch is a catch. Who cares how they’re caught? 

“They used to be illegal,” Mr. Doh says matter of factly. “But an agreement has been made that ten traps in total are allowed per region. So for the _Ashes_ , we’re allowed to place ten traps in our respected area. This was done because of the influx of werewolf sightings and attacks. If you think about it, we’re truly outnumbered. We need all the help we can get.”

“Exactly,” Mr. Kim says. “So each of us will take a sack; except for Jongin and Kyungsoo. You will be given only two traps.”

“What? Why?” Jongin asks, aggravation laced in his voice. “Why do we not get the same amount?” Why are they being given less? Is it because Jongin's a beginner?

Junmyeon sighs, exasperated. “The reason is that we’re _only_ allowed ten. There are six of us so that makes three groups. Two traps per person so four traps per group that would make twelve, and that’s over the limit. So you and Kyungsoo will only have two traps and that will be ten. Do the math, Jongin.”

Jongin makes a face at Junmyeon. He didn’t have to be so snarky about it. “Okay, fine, but why us?”

“Because,” Mr. Kim adds. “The trail you and Kyungsoo are taking is less condensed so hiding the traps won’t be as easy, but I know Kyungsoo will do a great job at finding the perfect spots for them.”

“And what about me then?” Jongin asks, sounding childish. As if he won’t be turning into an adult in mere hours.

"Oh my god, quit whining," Jongdae chides.

“You?” Mr. Kim says, chuckling lightly. “Jongin, you have a lot to learn yet. Kyungsoo will show you what to do, and if I were you, I’d pay close attention.”

Jongin holds his uncle’s gaze for several moments. Something feels off, he thinks. The dark look his uncle gives him before looking away is unsettling, but maybe it’s just Jongin’s nerves, too.

“Alright, enough wasting time. Men, you will each take a sack and spread them out. You will remember the location. Make discrete marks as needed. We will need to find them again in case we catch one of those beasts.”

Everyone nods and takes a sack. Jongin grabs the sack for him and Kyungsoo, shrugging it over his shoulder with minimum effort. Mr. Kim gives one more finally parting words of wisdom and then releases them.

  
  


———

  
  


Everyone parts ways and Jongin follows Kyungsoo.

They trudge through the packed ice and snow as they head deeper into the woods. Jongin keeps close to Kyungsoo.

“Where’re we going to set the traps up?” Jongin asks, shrugging his shoulders to adjust the sack. “It’s not getting any lighter…”

Kyungsoo looks over his shoulder at him. “You really want to set them up?”

Jongin’s face contorts in confusion. “Well, yeah? Why wouldn’t I?”

Shrugging, Kyungsoo points to a tree branch on the ground for Jongin to look out for. “I mean, it kind of takes away from the hunt itself, don’t you think? And besides...Your brother was right. It is a bit inhumane even if it is legal.”

Jongin rolls his eyes with a huff. “Listen, whatever catches any of those beasts - or even bears - I really don’t care. And really, it doesn’t take that much away from the hunt. It’ll be trapped and all I have to do is aim and shoot then whoosh! An arrow between the eyes.”

“You might not want to aim for the face, especially if you want to hang its head up.”

“You know what I mean, Soo. I just have to take it out is what I’m getting at. Easy peasy.”

Kyungsoo hums, moving a branch out of his way and holding it for Jongin to pass through. “Anyway, I suppose we can lay one out near the site.”

“How far is the site?” Jongin asks, looking around the dark forest. The deeper they go the creepier it appears.

“Well…” Kyungsoo starts. Jongin doesn’t like the sound of that. “I’m actually taking us on a different route. To a different campsite” 

Jongin stops walking, bewildered. It’s his first time out here and Kyungsoo’s going to _get them lost._ “What? 

Kyungsoo stops too, turning around to look at Jongin. “Don’t give me that look. It doesn’t stray too far away from the original campsite but it’s not necessarily labeled on the map either.”

“Soo?!”

“It’s not a big deal, Jongin! I’ve been this way _plenty_ of times…”

Jongin juts out his bottom lip. Even with Kyungsoo’s assurance, Jongin still feels uneasy about this. He’d rather have taken the trail, especially because it’s his first night out, but knows he can rely on Kyungsoo and should just trust him. He really has no choice but to trust Kyungsoo because he sure as hell knows he’d get lost on his own so he’ll just need to push the unsteady feeling in his gut to the side. “I guess...as long as you know where you’re going…”

“I do,” Kyungsoo insists, turning around but not before giving Jongin a reassuring smile.

Jongin and Kyungsoo walk a while longer before they reach the small campsite. Along the way, Kyungsoo had been marking trees as they trudged through the woods. When Jongin questioned it, Kyungsoo simply answered he was making a trail just in case they somehow got lost. It’s a good idea since it’s Jongin’s first time and all, though, he doesn’t plan on leaving Kyungsoo’s side.

Jongin’s right at Kyungsoo’s heels when he suddenly stops in front of him. “Well, here she is!”

“Here what is?” Jongin asks, unimpressed. It’s not as impressive as Jongin thought it would be. Leaves and sticks all around the cleared out area, the firepit looks pitiful as it’s buried under snow and mud. It really looks like no one’s been here in decades and Jongin starts to wonder how long it’s been since Kyungsoo’s been here. “It looks like no one’s been here since the 1900s.”

“Yeah, well, shut up. I haven’t been here in months, so….” 

The two set their gear down and clear out a space to pitch their tent. It doesn’t take as long as Jongin would have thought, but even though it wasn’t a lot of work, Jongin’s still worked up a sweat. He feels warm all over, just like he did before they left the cabin. Jongin grabs his cantine and takes several gulps. He’s sure he’s just exhausted himself; carrying his bow and quiver, the two bear traps and his duffle bag of belongings mixed with the chilled weather, he’s probably overheating.

Jongin straightens up, snapping the lid back on his cantine when Kyungsoo calls for him to help him with the tent. 

The tent took way longer to put up than either of them would have liked but once it’s up they play three rounds of rock, paper, scissors to see who collects firewood. Jongin loses all three rounds but asks for one more go which Kyungsoo declines while laughing at him, already walking off and leaving Jongin to search for firewood alone.

“Soo…” Jongin pouts.

Kyungsoo throws up a dismissive hand. “You need to get familiar with the woods at night anyway. You’ll be okay and I’m nearby. I’ll hear you call if something goes wrong. Now get to it. We’ll want a fire ready when we return.”

Not even his pout could have persuaded Kyungsoo to switch places with him, and sadly, Kyungsoo is right. Jongin needs to familiarize himself with the surroundings, he needs to look for details that he won’t forget like the placement of large rocks or fallen branches. Whatever will help him find his way back if needed. Even so, venturing into the woods at night. Alone. Despite having the moon out high over them, the forest at night is still creepy.

Jongin shines his flashlight ahead of him. It’s a powerful flashlight, the kind that goes a good distance, but it’s a straight beam and it’s not great for an overall view, leaving Jongin to scan his flashlight more than he’d like to. He'd rather keep it pointed straight ahead of him. Creeping along slowly, Jongin does his best to eye the ground for any wood that’s not completely covered in snow that they could use to start a fire and keep an eye out on his surroundings. He’s collected a few pieces here and there, but not nearly enough to sustain a fire for long. He’ll probably have to break off some branches for wood that aren’t soaked from the snow.

As Jongin continues to gather sticks he begins to feel more sluggish with each step. His feet feel heavier, and despite his slow pace, his heart is pounding at an alarming rate along with the throbbing pain in his head. Jongin slows to a stop to shake it off. ‘ _I can do this, I can do this_ ’ he softly chants out loud.

Then Jongin hears the sound of leaves rustling from behind him and immediately drops the kindling as he turns quickly to aim his flashlight in the direction of the noise. He aims his flashlight around to see if he spots something but there’s nothing. He’s not sure if nothing being there is to his relief or horror. The silence is heavy but only lasts a few moments before he hears a similar rustling sound coming from behind him. He whips around and points his flashlight to the direction of the sound but again there’s nothing.

“Fuck,” he hisses to himself, frustrated. It has to be his mind playing tricks on him. It’s the adrenaline, he tries to convince himself. Jongin is used to coping with adrenaline when he plays football. If anything, he concentrates better when under pressure and doesn’t let his head get to him, but this...this stress feels different.

Jongin lets himself catch his breath before deciding that he’s collected enough kindling for now and heads back to camp, but not without having his bow in hand for easy access. 

Just in case.

When he makes it back to camp, Kyungsoo has the firepit cleared up and a couple of logs rolled next to the pit for when they come back. 

“Hey,” Jongin greets, stepping over some brush on the ground only to stumble over his own feet with the next step. The kindling falls out of his arms, scattering over the ground as he steadies himself on a flimsy tree next to him before he can fall completely.

“Whoa there, are you okay?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Fine,” he mutters and pushes off the meek tree and starts recollecting the wood. This time Jongin manages to drop next to the pit just as a terrible pounding sensation beats at his temples. He puts the heel of hands on his temples, adding pressure to the pounding ache. It’s a migraine, it has to be.

“Are you sure?” 

Jongin can practically hear the frown on Kyungsoo’s worried face, but still, he nods. “Yeah, I just have a migraine. I just need some pain reliever or something…”

“Jongin—”

“I’m _fine_ , Soo…” Jongin snaps defensively, aggressively. He immediately bites his bottom lip, feeling ashamed. 

There’s a beat of silence between them before Kyungsoo silently gets up and goes inside the tent. He comes back out moments later with a small bottle in one hand and his stainless-steel Winchester in the other. “Take those,” he says, tossing a bottle to Jongin. Jongin misses the catch but it lands close to his feet.

Kyungsoo grabs their bags and the sack of traps. He drops Jongin’s bag next to Jongin and pulls out Jongin’s cantine. “Here. Drink. Then we need to get going.”

Jongin shakes out a few pills and swallows them down with gulp after gulp of water. The water feels amazing, so refreshing. He didn’t realize how thirsty he was and keeps drinking until the bottle is almost empty.

“Ready?” Kyungsoo asks.

Ignoring the thrumming in his head, Jongin nods and shoves the medicine bottle into the large pocket of his cargo pants and puts his cantine away. Once he hooks his bow back onto the harness on his back he’s ready to head out. They make sure to grab walkies and Kyungsoo calls into the others to inform them that they’re officially heading out.

They get a confirmation and off they go.

———- 

They start walking with careful steps as they stalk their way through the cold forest. 

A little way in, they stop to set up one of the bear traps, which ends up being a learning experience for Jongin as predicted. Honestly, he doesn’t know the first thing about them - only knows as much as he’s seen in movies and TV shows. Jongin drags one of the steel traps out of the bag. He brings it outside the trail in a small open spot on the ground. 

“Alright, so all you have to do is open it and click the middle part down.”

“Will it close on me? Jongin asks immediately, looking up at Kyungsoo from where he’s crouched. He’s most nervous about the jaws snapping shut on him.

“No,” Kyungsoo answers assuredly.

Jongin frowns, grumbling. “Okay…” Carefully, Jongin pulls back the jaws. They move effortlessly and Jongin clicks them into place. 

“Make sure to cover it with leaves…”

“I will,” Jongin sighs, more from exhaustion than frustration. “I’ve at least seen enough movies to know _that_ part.”

“Wow, so you really can learn something from all the trash TV you watch.”

Jongin makes a face, rolling his eyes as he recollects his belongings. “You’re so funny. Let’s go. I’m getting restless.”

Jongin walks past Kyungsoo despite not knowing where they’re headed but Kyungsoo rushes up next to him and they continue. It’s eerily quiet, Jongin thinks, as he turns his head in every direction he hears a sound come from. And, it feels as if he can hear _every little sound_ happening around him; faint sounds of leaves rustling, twigs snapping, wind blowing, owls hooting, the drone of _growls—_

“Soo!” Jongin hisses and withdraws his bow, a broadhead arrow already in position in one quick motion.

Without question, Kyungsoo stops in his tracks with his Winchester held up, on guard.

They both look around frantically with their weapons drawn. Jongin moves to stand behind Kyungsoo so their backs are pressed together. They keep their weapons drawn until they have done a complete 360. When Kyungsoo decides that the coast is clear, he lowers his weapon.

“What the hell was that about?” Kyungsoo asks, turning around to look at Jongin and holding his Winchester at his side.

Jongin doesn’t turn to face him. His eyes are wide on high alert as he continues to glance around with his bow drawn. Something doesn’t feel right. He can _hear_ growling, but he can’t _see_ what’s making the sound. If his hearing wasn’t on a supernatural level then he wouldn’t be able to hear it, but he _can_ and it’s stressing him out. 

“I hear growling,” he breathes out, darting his eyes back and forth. The growling is coming from at least two directions, maybe three. Jongin doesn’t know where to focus.

He feels like he’s going insane.

“I don’t hear anything,” Kyungsoo says, huffing a small laugh. “It’s the adrenaline messing with your head. Just stay close and I’ll continue to lead.”

It’s useless to try and explain. There’s no way Kyungsoo heard what he did - even to him the growling was faint. Still, Jongin stays in place for several more moments before he relents, relaxing his shoulders and lowering his bow. He scans the area once more before placing the arrow back in the quiver. He’d rather keep it out but he can’t risk freaking out over something _again_ and accidentally shooting Kyungsoo. He reasons with himself that he’ll stay on high alert as he follows Kyungsoo's wake. 

The farther they walk into the forest the more febrile Jongin begins to feel. It’s as if the medicine took away his pounding headache only to replace it with a fever. It doesn’t help that on top of that he feels uneasy and restless. It’s like a twisted combination of the shakes from the fever and from fear, but Jongin doesn’t plan on telling Kyungsoo. He doesn’t want Kyungsoo to call into the others and tell them he isn’t feeling well. They’ll cancel the whole trip! It’ll ruin his whole ceremony so he’ll wait for the drugs to kick in.

However, keeping the pain to himself is making it hard for Jongin to focus. It’s taking everything he has to keep his walk steady let alone his vision. He’s already tripped over a few loose roots and fallen branches, playing it off as being clumsy. Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to suspect anything, though. Kyungsoo continues to lead but occasionally looks over his shoulder to check on him and each time Jongin smiles despite every step he takes sends a pounding pain to his temples. 

His senses are going crazy and it’s becoming harder to ignore every sound or smell he comes upon, and Jongin can’t shake off the feeling that someone or some _thing_ is following them. 

_It’s the adrenaline...the adrenaline_ , Jongin keeps telling himself. He needs to distract himself. He needs to talk aloud to drown out the sounds of leaves rustling on the ground and the pounding of his own heart.

“Uh, so what time is it?” Jongin asks offhandedly.

“About fifteen til midnight, Birthday Boy,” Kyungsoo replies, looking over his shoulder with a brash grin. “You’re going to be a big boy soon.”

Jongin hums in acknowledgment, not even bothering with a cheeky remark. He’s about to say something until he hears a twig snap behind him. Jongin immediately turns around and draws his bow and arrow and takes a steady step forward. Something’s behind that tree. Jongin takes another step, his eyes focused on some bushes next to a large tree. It’s behind there, he _knows_.

Then Kyungsoo calls for him.

“There was another sound…” Jongin says, voice wavering. 

“Jongin--” Kyungsoo says, exasperated.

“Shh, quiet,” Jongin says and takes another step closer. There’s an intense moment of dead silence and suddenly a small rabbit dashes from behind the tree at the same time Jongin releases the string. The arrow misses the rabbit but sticks right into the ground. “Shit.”

“ _Jongin_!” Kyungsoo hisses, marching over to him and grabbing his arm. Jongin doesn’t have a moment to process what happened until he’s facing Kyungsoo. “What’s your deal? I’ve never seen you like this. I know it’s your first Hunt, but you seem...off. You’re sweating and look pale. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

Jongin gapes down dumbly at Kyungsoo for a second, vision blurred for a moment before Kyungsoo looks clear again. He shakes his head lightly. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine. I guess I’m just… on edge.”

Kyungsoo stares at Jongin for a long, hard moment. Jongin can feel him searching for an answer, searching for the truth that Jongin is keeping from him, but if he finds it or anything at all, he doesn’t make a remark. “Well, could you maybe step back a little? You’re seriously going to hurt yourself or something. So just, calm down, okay?”

Jongin nods as Kyungsoo turns away. He takes in a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself, before he starts following Kyungsoo once again but not before glancing behind one last time. There’s nothing there. It really is all in his head. He’s being paranoid for no reason. It has to be from nerves. Maybe it’s subconsciously dawning on him that he’s actually out here now hunting for a werewolf. The time has finally come and it’s just now settling in. It’s making his senses go haywire. 

Stopping in his tracks, Jongin stares at the ground. He hears more rustling but this time it’s clearly coming from the right.

Kyungsoo’s several feet ahead of him when he turns around, looking miffed. 

“Jongin…”

Jongin snaps out of it and looks up, giving him a sheepish smile as Kyungsoo shakes his head.

“Let’s _go_.” Kyungsoo turns away and the moment he does is when time seems to stand still.

Jongin hears a howl in the distance then another howl that rings loudly in his ears because it’s closer.

_A lot closer._

Then everything happens at once.

Before he can even react, Jongin hears the sound of rapid thumping of a spirituous stride rush past him. So fast that if Jongin didn’t know any better he would have thought it was just a gust of wind. 

Jongin’s eyes follow the brown flash as Kyungsoo’s being violently slammed to the ground by a large, _large_ animal. It knocks Kyungsoo several feet away from where he was standing moments ago. Jongin watches in alarm as Kyungsoo’s Winchester flies out of his grip and lands just out of reach as the beast pins him down.

At a glance, Jongin thinks it’s a bear just by judging by the size and color, but to his horror, it’s not. In front of him is a giant, brown wolf mauling at his friend; snarling and seething. It’s the largest wolf he’s ever seen. It was twice the size of a normal wolf, bulkier, too.

Then it clicks.

_A werewolf,_ Jongin murmurs, frozen with fright and shock. He can’t bring himself to do anything as Kyungsoo scrambles for the closest branch to separate himself from the beast's jowls.

“J-Jongin!” Kyungsoo shouts, strained.

Jongin has never heard Kyungsoo sound like that before.

“ _Jongin_!” 

The beast’s snarls only barely drown out Kyungsoo’s desperate cries.

Kyungsoo calls out for Jongin once more, even more, desperate than the first two times, and finally, Jongin comes to his senses.

_Kyungsoo’s in trouble._

Hurriedly, Jongin grabs an arrow from the quiver and raises his bow up. His arms are trembling with fear and adrenaline. It’s as if he’s never held a bow in his life. He pulls the bowstring back until it clicks into place. He closes one eye to take aim but the aim is unsteady as his arms, and he’s unable to get an accurate shot - one that will kill instantly because his hands won’t stop shaking and his head won’t stop pounding and his muscles won’t stop hurting.

The snarls and barking from the werewolf are distracting and so are Kyungsoo’s cries. He knows he needs to act now, must pull himself together and take a shot or his friend’s going to _die_.

“Hurry, _shoot_ him!” Kyungsoo cries out. Jongin thinks he hears the branch start to crack.

Taking in the steadiest breath he can, Jongin stands up straighter and takes proper aim. He’s done this countless times, practices rep after rep. He’s able to shoot a target from 75 yards away. He can hit this beast from five. He only half-draws the string so it’s not as powerful because the beast isn’t far from him and he doesn’t want the arrow to pierce Kyungsoo. 

In one quick motion, Jongin releases the bowstring and the arrow cuts through the frigid night air with a whispering sound. Right now, he doesn’t care _where_ the arrow hits, fatal or not, as long as it gets it off Kyungsoo before he mauls him. He watches the arrow for a second before it hits the target. The next sound he hears is a riotous roar and without even thinking, Jongin sets up another shot. This time it’s steadier; his adrenaline kicks in and an evenness washes over him. He’s in complete control of his muscles again. “ _He has to control the situation and not let the situation control him”_ , he remembers being told. 

Jongin pulls back the bowstring with as much confidence as he has with his aim and releases another arrow towards the beast. Another horrendous cry from the beast echoes through the forest. 

A sudden swell of pride rises in Jongin’s chest, right next to the adrenaline. As if forgetting everything else, Jongin’s focus is now solely on the werewolf. So Jongin’s not surprised when the arrow hits where he wanted it to, the werewolf’s side. 

There’s a long, deafening howl close by and the werewolf finally backs off Kyungsoo just as Jongin’s aiming for a third and final shot to the beast’s head, but before he can take the shot, the beast takes off suddenly and out of his line of shot.

Scowling, Jongin lowers his bow and rushes to Kyungsoo’s side to check on him, but as soon as he kneels next to him, Kyungsoo shoves him away immediately.

“Go, Jongin! _Get_ him! Get that son of a bitch!” Kyungsoo yells, holding onto his arm that he had brutally landed on. It must be dislocated, but even so, Kyungsoo scrambles for his rifle as he shouts at Jongin to go once more. “I’ll be right behind you!”

Jongin doesn’t think twice about it and does as he’s told and runs after the werewolf. Jongin follows the splotches of red in the snow, running fast and far until he sees the beast just up ahead limping as he trots. It appears the werewolf is slowing down. Smugness spreads across Jongin’s face when he sees the shine of his arrows lodged into the werewolf’s side.

Grinning, Jongin fantasizes that this will be his first kill! His first kill within the first couple hours! He can’t get the image of himself standing triumphantly with his kill while Kyungsoo takes his picture, and how proud his uncle, cousin, and brother will be. Any and all worries that plagued him before; headaches, muscle aches, fever, and whatever else he was feeling earlier now gone. 

All Jongin can think about is taking down the beast.

Jongin takes a sharp right to run alongside the beast at a distance. Moving fiercely through the trees and logs and shrubs. The werewolf is trotting slowly due to injuries so Jongin’s able to get ahead of him enough so that he’ll have perfect aim as the beast runs by. Gradually, Jongin loses his speed as he reaches in his quiver and grabs another arrow. This _will_ be the fatal shot. This shot will cause a hemorrhage that Jongin wants, and it will be the one that brings the beast down and makes a Hunter out of Jongin.

He stops completely and takes his stance. The beast is still moving, but only around 10 yards away Jongin guesses - mostly from experience. Jongin hooks his arrow in place and draws the bowstring back full-draw. It’s going to be a powerful release. He knows it’ll go through the beast’s chest and come out on the other side, if not, it’ll just impale the beast through his organs.

Jongin can’t stop grinning.

_This is it._

Finally, he will be a _Hunt_ \--

Just as Jongin’s about to release the arrow a burning, searing sensation sizzles on his upper chest. He yells in pain, dropping his bow and scrambling to get the object off his chest. He frantically reaches inside his high collar and realizes that it's the pendant that's burning his skin. _The pendant Kyungsoo gifted him._ Without a second thought, Jongin yanks the silver jewel off and throws it to the ground. Jongin places a hand over the burn mark. The faint smell of burnt skin makes him want to gag.

Suddenly, Jongin’s body seizes up. His legs buckle and he collapses to the ground. Then, every bit of his body begins to convulse uncontrollably. The only thing he can feel is his nerves thrumming rapidly under his skin.

It’s all happening so fast but everything Jongin sees is in slow motion. He can’t comprehend what’s going on. Is he having a seizure? Is he having a heart attack? Stroke? Is he _dying_ ? _What’s happening_. 

Panicking, Jongin darts his eyes around his surroundings frantically. The thought that the werewolf, or another one, could come back any moment and slaughter him in a revengeful fit of rage terrifies him to his core as he lays defenseless, desperately trying to control his limbs.

Jongin’s body finally comes to a rest. His muscles relax and his body goes limp. Jongin lays there on his back, panting and staring up at the moon in the clear sky. He feels as if all his energy has drained from his body, even blinking is taking too much effort. He needs to get up, Jongin thinks, because the werewolf could come back, maybe even with its pack, but he really can’t. He tries to lift his hand off his chest but only succeeds in lifting it an inch or two before losing strength. 

Jongin shudders a breath. He hopes Kyungsoo is out looking for him.

Jongin doesn’t know how long he lies there. He feels so numb in both body and spirit. He thinks about the dream from last night. The vivid image of his parents' bodies stays in front of his mind. Then his uncle…. Why was he aiming at him? What about his parents? Did his uncle have anything to do with it? No, there’s no way, but, it all felt so real. Then he thinks about the wolf — werewolf? And it’s deep, amber eyes. It’s odd, Jongin thinks, he doesn’t remember being frightened of the wolf, but more of his uncle. 

All of a sudden, a shooting pain courses through his body and along with his limbs, the jolt causes Jongin to sit up only for him to fall back down, landing face-first into the snow. He registers the sounds of cracking and snapping echoing in his ears and only realizes that it’s not twigs or sticks but his _bones_. Jongin cries out, or he thinks he does, the pain so intense that it’s deafening and his vision goes white and the world is muted.

When the sound returns, Jongin hears howling in the distance. It sounds close — too close for comfort. Fearing that this is the end, that he’ll die in this vulnerable state, a second jolt of adrenaline courses through his body and Jongin forces a trembling arm that’s tucked underneath his weight out to grab his bow, but he’s immediately horrified to see that it’s not his hand that’s reaching out. No, it’s not his hand at all. It’s not even _human_. The thing that grabs his bow is a hairy claw not unlike an animal or monster, and his once human fingers are now long and covered in hair with sharp talons at the tip.

He has to be hallucinating from the pain. 

Jongin screams in fear and agony and rolls onto his back where he stares up at the full moon boring down on him almost tauntingly. He can hear his clothes tearing through his labored breathing and the morphing of bones. The pain is unbearable, but at the same time, he feels nothing. Tears gloss over his eyes as he desperately shrieks Kyungsoo’s name repeatedly until Kyungsoo’s name isn’t his name anymore but a series of yelps, barks, and whimpers.

Finally, everything stops. Jongin shuts his eyes and when he reopens them all color is gone from his vision and there’s nothing but gray. The dark blue night sky is suddenly dulled, the bark on trees is darker and the leaves on the trees gray. He swallows hard and brings his wobbling hands into his line of sight. He’s not met with his hands, but large bristly claws instead. Jongin goes to yell but nothing like that happens. Instead, he howls.

Panicking more that his voice is all but gone, only residing in his mind, Jongin sits up to examine his body. The pain has subsided for the most part. It’s a manageable pain now, more of an ache in his joints and bones. When Jongin glances down at his once human form his eyes go impossibly wide. In his horror, his limbs are elongated and covered in thick, hispid hairs. He carefully brings his hands and feels where his mouth used to be, replaced by a snout and jowls, and at the top of his head now occupied with small ears sticking straight up. He reaches behind him to feel how his backbends and arches and his rigid spine goes down right into a tail. Just like his hands, his feet were no longer normal, but animal-like as well.

Jongin’s heart stops.

_He’s a monster._

What is he?? He can’t be a werewolf! Werewolves are just larger wolves! He’s-He’s a monster! Like ones in the movies! Jongin barely has time to comprehend even an ounce of what’s going on when he hears, loud and clear, his name being called from a distance. The stomping gets louder and louder as it nears.

It’s _Kyungsoo_.

He hears Kyungsoo before he sees him. He can see the makeshift sling he’s made for his arm and the shining iron of his Winchester in his hand. He keeps calling for Jongin but Jongin can’t answer. He doesn’t know if he would want to answer if he could. He can’t let Kyungsoo see him like this! Jongin tries to stand up fully only to slip and fumble back to the ground several times. He has no idea what he’s doing but, at the same time, he feels like he knows exactly what to do. He needs to run.

Jongin finally manages to stand up on his hind legs with the support of the nearest tree, and he’s tall. Taller than he’s ever been. He’s actually a lot more of _everything_ than he’s ever been. He forgets about Kyungsoo for a moment as he looks down at his body. Still in disbelief that he’s no longer human.

“Jong—”

Jongin’s gaze shifts to look down at Kyungsoo who slows to a stop right in front of him. He watches Kyungsoo first look at the discarded and torn clothes strewn on the ground then slowly raises his gaze to stare up in horror. Jongin can see the fear and panic and disbelief in his friend’s eyes and he wants to talk to him, but he _can’t_. And if he could, he doubts Kyungsoo would understand. Jongin sees Kyungsoo’s eyes travel away from his face and to the ground once more. Jongin follows his gaze, watching as Kyungsoo kneels down to pick something shiny up. Standing, Kyungsoo holds out his palm and his bewilderment turns into realization.

Jongin realizes what’s in Kyungsoo’s palm: the pendant from the necklace. Jongin reaches up to touch the chain around his neck. It doesn’t burn, not like the pendant did. Jongin watches Kyungsoo slip the pendant into his pocket, replacing it to hold his rifle.

“J-Jongin…?” Kyungsoo questions shakily, putting his finger on the trigger.

Jongin stumbles back, shaking his head. The hurt and confusion in Kyungsoo’s eyes is too much. He can’t explain to Kyungsoo what's going on because he has no idea how to even start and he can’t even speak. There’s nothing for Jongin to do except to get away from him. Jongin doesn’t know what all he’s capable of or what he’s in control of and if he ever hurt Kyungsoo...he would be beside himself. Jongin takes a few steps back as Kyungsoo takes one forward. 

“Jongin, wait,” Kyungsoo calls, calmly.

Jongin just shakes his head once more and turns and runs deeper into the woods. It doesn’t take him long to find his footing and dart off into the forest on all fours. He knows the dangers that lurk in the forest, especially the werewolves, or...are they just wolves? God, what is he even? Jongin runs until Kyungsoo’s desperate calls of his name become distant and part of the wind. He doesn’t know where he’s going. He doesn’t know the territory, but he doesn’t care. He’s clearly lost his mind and needs to isolate himself to figure out what’s going on. 

As he continues to stride into the forest, his mind also runs a million miles a minute. This can’t be real, he thinks, this must be his nightmare. Did he pass out from a fever? Did he trip and hit his head? This isn’t real. In his cloudy haste, Jongin stumbles over his own feet, falling to his knees.

Jongin doesn’t recognize the snow-covered surroundings. Not that he should, and he can’t bring himself to panic any more than he has. The trees are larger and wider than the ones he’s familiar with, and the ground is covered in thick shrubbery and large, dead logs all buried in a foot of snow. He peers up and sees the high top of the mountain and realizes he’s at the base of one. He recognizes the three large peaks at the top of the mountain. He’s seen them plenty of times in texts and in the slideshows. He’s run right into the heart of the _Ashes_.

For a moment, he thinks he can see smoke coming from the mountain, but he can’t be sure and to clear his mind he dismisses it as fog.

A familiar ache pulses inside him and he falls down onto his hands, hanging his head low between his shoulders. He stares at the necklace where the pendant should be hanging from his neck as he hears his bones shifting and cracking once more. Is he changing back? It’s not as painful as the transformation earlier, it’s tolerable this time. Jongin shrinks and once again his vision returns to color. He watches his hands turn from monstrous paws to human hands once more and the rest of his body seems to follow suit. 

Jongin collapses in the snow, his muscles are burning, his bones are aching, and his head is spinning. He’s all too aware that he’s no longer wearing clothes to protect him from the cold, but still, his eyelids become heavy, matching his breathing. 

Everything is throbbing, including his mind.

Light snowfall begins to cover him in a soft blanket and it’s then he truly realizes that he could die out here. If the cold doesn’t kill him then a predator will. He wants to get up and go back and find Kyungsoo or shelter or _something_ , but he has no strength left. He couldn’t defend himself even if he tried.

Maybe it’s best that he dies out here, he thinks, because if all of this is real then he doesn’t want this.

Blinking slowly, Jongin’s eyes close longer each time. His vision begins to tunnel as his mind begins to rest. He hears a long, chest tightening howl close by, and the snow crunches around him. Jongin has no energy to even lift his head to see the source of the sound. He might actually die here but he can't bring himself to even be afraid right now.

The last thing Jongin sees is a pair of large paws in front of him and the smell of cinnamon and soil before everything goes black.

  
  


**➶ ———- ➶**

  


Kyungsoo lands on his knees, his eyes wide in disbelief.

It has to be from the pain in his arm. Jongin is not a _werewolf_.

He’s not.

There’s no way.

Kyungsoo’s never seen one like it before! The werewolves they hunt look like larger wolves, but what he saw...was was horrifying.

He looks on the ground where Jongin’s clothes are torn and slowly being covered by the light snow. He swallows when he sees his friend’s bow and wrist release a few feet away, clutching the pendant tightly in his hand. 

Standing, Kyungsoo looks around. Stomping away from his Winchester and looking in every direction. Looking for any sign of Jongin or...anything at all. He doesn’t realize his breathing is increasing as he fights back tears.

Jongin’s lost out there. Or, he’s… something. He’s just not here, and Kyungsoo’s about to start panicking until he hears the static of his walkie go off calling for his attention. Shoving the pendant back into his pocket, he quickly pulls the walkie off his belt loop and brings it to his mouth. He hesitates for a moment before he says.

“J-Jongin’s gone. He’s… He’s gone.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although all Lycans learn the dangers of werewolves at a young age - being warned to stay away from them or flee if one is near - Chanyeol was taught what werewolves truly are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!! Thank you for coming back to read chapter two!
> 
> I want to apologize for the delay in uploading (I really want to update weekly! TT-TT) but there was SO much to cover in this chapter and I really wanted to make sure the information was all there (correctly) and easy to understand. That being said, I'd like to thank [Elle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minniemoments/works)  
> once again for helping me edit this portion of the fic. She did SO much and I am eternally grateful for her for that. 
> 
> SO I hope you guys are ready to meet Chanyeol (I know I was excited to write/introduce him! ;u;)

Chanyeol paces outside the healing hut, wondering if this was the right thing to do.

_After ordering two of the warriors to bring his injured brother, Baekhyun, back to the pack, Chanyeol had stalked off to track down the Hunter. He had planned on killing the Hunter, a swell of anger and rage reddened his sight thinking about how the Hunter attacked Baekhyun, piercing him with his arrows. Twice. One arrow lodged into Baekhyun’s leg and the other deep into his side. The boy almost killed his brother! And Chanyeol wanted to take all his anger and fear out on him, to be relentless and nasty - to show him the true beast that humans are so afraid of, but when he approached him, all the seething anger suddenly vanished as if it wasn't there to begin with._

_As he stared down at the boy lying in the snow, naked and defenseless, the moonlight bore down on him, shimmering against his skin in calming patterns._

_Chanyeol’s hardened gaze softened the longer he stared at the boy. He knelt next to him and placed his palm against the boy’s lips, soft he remembers, as he checked if the boy was still breathing._

_Barely._

_As Chanyeol went to stand he stopped, and without thinking, moved his hand to spread wide against the boy’s back and pressed down. The moonlight danced over his hand and a strange, concerned feeling washed over him as he kept his hand firmly planted in the middle of the boy’s back. He felt...worried, so worried as if he could feel the boy’s pain. The longer he kept his hand there the more bothered he felt._

_Then, the boy whimpered but it didn’t sound human, it sounded like…_

_“Máni,” Chanyeol gasped and pulled his hand away._

It was then that Chanyeol made the decision to bring him to the pack, but it was as if it wasn’t even his own decision, but the Moon’s.

But now, Chanyeol’s mind is clear as day and he contemplates how he brought the boy back into their territory, their _homeland_.

Normally when capturing a Hunter, a Lycan is to take them directly to the guardhouse where they will be held prisoner before taken to the _Council of Ashes_ who will decide their fate. Of course, their fate always ends up in death. Chanyeol thinks the Council really just decides _how_ a Hunter will be executed because there's no way in hell they would ever let one go free - especially not after seeing where Lycans live.

Lycan and humans both hold positions at the top of the food chain. A Lycan's only true competitor is humans - specifically Hunters.

But Chanyeol couldn't bring himself to drag the injured boy to the guardhouse. It didn't feel right - a feeling he has yet to understand or fully convey in fear that it'll do more harm than good if he lingers on it too long.

The boy - no, the _Hunter_ (damnit, Chanyeol, at least recognize him for what he is!) is an absolute threat to the pack especially considering that he is not human - or not fully human but a werewolf.

One of the first things Lycans are taught about is werewolves. They’re fed information from historical annotations passed down from generation to generation to being read scary stories about said beasts around a campfire while snuggled up close to a friend. Chanyeol remembers crying once when a pack member jumped behind him and his friends and everyone screamed. He didn’t attend circle time for a few weeks after that. 

Although all Lycans learn the dangers of werewolves at a young age - being warned to stay away from them or flee if one is near - Chanyeol was taught what werewolves truly are. Head Alpha, the pack leader, and Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s adoptive father told him the crucial differences between Lycan and Werewolf.

The differences are subtle but important.

A Lycan is a human with a wolf spirit, or Máni, inside them. The Máni coexists with the human spirit, Hygge, as one, allowing the host to shift into a wolf at will. It's a tranquil relationship between the human spirit and the wolf spirit residing in it. 

As for a werewolf, there isn't a tranquil relationship between the Hygge and Máni. The Máni inside the human can not coexist with the Hygge inside of the host. The two spirits are separated and fighting for dominance.

There isn’t a known reason as to why it happens, but the elders of before have thought it was because the human was conceived during Apogee, when the moon is farthest from Earth which created a distance between the Hygge and Máni that manifested into negative energy.

The negative energy, the elders had written in the text of old, evolves from an internal struggle of pain and anger that leave both spirits restless and unstable. The Máni aggressively fights for control while the Hygge fights to maintain control, refusing to harmonize.

The human body is merely a battleground for the two spirits, and if the human is unable to keep control of one’s mind then the wolf spirit is freed - wild and untamed - and becomes Berserk; a mindless, ruthless, and relentless killing machine. 

Despite the warnings and dangers, however, Chanyeol has always been fascinated by werewolves. He's always wondered if he could truly ever help them.

Chanyeol stops pacing and puts his head in his hands, sighing heavily as he rethinks the situation. He brought a werewolf into their pack. Brought a werewolf to their healer, begging for help. Begging their healer to save this human - this _Hunter_. His heart stills thinking of the risk he put his beloved pack in.

Before Chanyeol can think too much more about the possible endangerment he put his pack in the drape to the healing hut entrance abruptly opens and standing in the opening is the healer, Yixing.

“Healer—” 

“ _Be silent_.”

Chanyeol cowers in the other alpha’s vexed disposition, glancing shamefully at his feet as if he’s a child being scolded. Chanyeol’s status in the pack is a higher rank than the Healer’s, and most everyone else. Because he is the Head Alpha’s son, albeit adopted, he holds a higher position within the pack including being the Skeppare, Ulfheonar Chief. As Skeppare, Chanyeol is charged with protecting the Ulfheonar’s warrior Lycans, Thegnar - the elite, and mostly alphas, of the pack that protects, serves, and risks their lives for the pack’s safety. He leads them on patrols and sometimes leads them into danger, of course, not intentionally, but he’s responsible for them.

Even with that position in mind, Chanyeol doesn’t think of his status as something to flaunt about and doesn’t think of it as a big deal, so when another alpha like Yixing scorns him he cowers like a pup getting in trouble. 

“I can not believe you. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Wouldn’t notice that you brought a _werewolf_ to the pack?” 

Chanyeol bites his lip nervously. “N-No, Healer, it’s not like that—”

“Then you were simply not thinking.” 

“ _No_ , I was thinking that you could patch him.” 

Yixing stares coldly at Chanyeol for a few beats, the line between his brows unyielding. “I am a compassionate man, Chanyeol, my life revolves around helping and healing others, but this… I will not treat him. Get rid of him.”

Chanyeol’s jaw drops and he reaches out as Yixing turns around, stopping the healer from walking away. In a desperate act, he takes hold of Yixing’s shoulders, engulfing them in his large hands. “Healer, Yixing. Please help him.”

Yixing stares calmly up at Chanyeol, his eyes searching for something in Chanyeol’s. 

“Please, I-I’ll take him back, but please patch him up first.” Chanyeol can feel the corners of his eyes prickle with tears, uselessly he tries to blink them back. “I promise, I'll take him back just don’t let him die.”

“Why is he so important to you?” Yixing asks carefully.

Chanyeol looks away from Yixing, looking to the side as if looking for the answer. He doesn’t know why it’s important to save him or why Chanyeol wants this so badly. He’s a compassionate fool, he knows, but there’s something unexplainable about wanting this man to survive. His heart aches even thinking about taking the man back to the cold, unforgiving woods just to allow him to die.

“I don’t know!” Chanyeol blurts. “I mean, I _do_ know. It’s just that...his Máni spoke to me…”

With an unimpressed look, Yixing carefully removes Chanyeol’s clammy hand from his shoulder, silently straightening out his pull over. “His Máni spoke to you?” Yixing asks with a quirked brow.

Chanyeol nods in affirmation. “Yes, it did. I felt drawn to him. When I touched his back I felt warmth but not from his body, no, it was deeper than that. And… his pain. I felt his pain and desperation, anger, _confusion_. I felt it all. Yixing, I...I don’t think he’s evil or a monster. I just think he’s lost.”

Yixing hums, his features softening. He steps away from Chanyeol and is silent for several moments, keeping Chanyeol on edge. Chanyeol wonders what could be on his mind that made his whole demeanor change. 

“That’s quite special, Chanyeol,” Yixing finally speaks, tapping his index finger on his chin. Chanyeol knows he only does this habit when he’s deep in thought. “However, I don’t know what to think of it considering your adrenaline must have been sky high and your judgment clouded by it. It could have scrambled your perception of the situation and made you think something that didn’t happen.”

Chanyeol gives Yixing an incredulous look. “It’s not all in my head, Yixing! I know what I felt.”

Yixing considers Chanyeol for a moment. “You’re right. There’s no way for me to have known what you felt at the time, but I can’t let those fleeting feelings overlook the fact that Baekhyun is in my hut in critical condition right now and, lest you forget, it’s that Hunter’s fault.”

Chanyeol’s jaw tightens like his fists at his sides. “I’m aware,” he grits out, watching Yixing shake his head in disappointment. A swell of guilt sits heavy in his chest. 

The two standoff for a moment, locked in each other’s gazes. The urge to look away from Yixing’s impassive stare is strong, but Chanyeol holds his own until Yixing finally blinks, sighing. “Very well. I’ll patch him up, Chanyeol, but he needs to go by morning.” 

“But, Head Alpha--”

“He’ll be back by dawn and you’ll do well to talk to him first thing upon his arrival. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a patient to patch up.”

Yes, Healer. Thank you, Healer,” Chanyeol bows in respect and turns to leave.

**———-**

“He was unconscious when I found him so I brought him to Yixing,” Chanyeol explains in defense to the two other Lycans in the room; the three of them gathered around a small fire. Chanyeol knew bringing the Hunter to the Healing Hut was better than bringing him to the Hallow.

The Hallow is where the pack members congregate to relax and spend time with each other but mostly feast together. It is a large grotto located deep in the side of a mountain, hidden away in the thick woodland by large trees, bramble, and thistle. In the seasons where trees are bustling with thick leaves, the cave entrance is well hidden, but in the winter, when the trees are bare, the entrance is covered with an animal skin pelt to keep the cave hidden and warm. 

Outside the Hallow is where the pack member’s huts reside, but Chanyeol is among those who live inside the Hallow. The Lycans who have the privilege of living inside the Hallow are those who are members of the Synod; pack members belonging to the Council of the Southern pack with higher status and those closest to the Head Alpha - his most trusted elite. 

“Well, okay so what happened?” Rosé asks impatiently. Rosé is a member of the Synod, along with the Head Alpha, Chanyeol, Yixing, Yifan, Chang-hoon, and Zitao. She is also the only female alpha in the pack and holds a high status for that reason. Female alphas are rarer than rare, but besides that, she is also praised for her intelligence and resourcefulness. Amongst the other members of the Synod that are male alphas, Rosé carries herself with grace and pride and demands the respect she well-deserves.

In fact, her confidence is what had drawn Chanyeol to her years ago, that flame has since been extinguished.

“I did, yes,” Chanyeol mumbles, scratching his nape. 

“Do you care to elaborate?” Rosé persists.

Chanyeol nods, picking at the fabric of his trousers. “Well,” he starts. “After hearing Baekhyun’s distressed cries, I immediately followed his calls with Zitao and Chang-hoon. When we found Baekhyun, I ordered Zitao and Chang-hoon to bring him to Yixing at once so I could track the Hunter down. I planned on killing him for what he did toBaekhyun, but when I reached him he was lying on the ground, staring up at the sky. He didn’t move at all, not even blinking, and I thought he had passed on already, but then he started convulsing. H-He was crying and... _howling_ in agony.”

 _I felt his pain_ , almost leaves Chanyeol’s lips, but he keeps that to himself. He doesn’t think he should explain it to them, not after Yixing’s unconvinced reaction. 

Chanyeol looks up from where he’s still picking at his pants. “At first, I didn’t understand what was going on but then his body started to contort unnaturally, and then I knew...”

“What do you mean ‘contort unnaturally’?” Rosé asks.

Chanyeol scrunches his face recalling how the Hunter’s body shifted abnormally. He’s only seen it one other time, but it was _years_ ago. 

“I mean his body was being pulled and cracked in unnatural ways.” Chanyeol exhales deeply, collecting himself from the gruesome sight that is instilled in his memory. He can recall every detail. “It was horrifying if I’m being honest. He was crying in pain, just _screaming_ and I found myself wanting to do something, _anything_ , to help him, but really? What could I do? So, I just watched.” Chanyeol gets quiet as he zones out. Images of the graphic transformation force themselves to the front of his mind along with the sounds of bones cracking and the cries of pain echoing through the forest. 

“Wait, wait, _wait_.” Rosé interrupts, snapping Chanyeol from his intrusive thoughts. “You wanted to _help_ it? You realize what it is, right?” 

Chanyeol sneers. “Of course, I do. I’m not stupid, Rosé.” 

“Are you sure? Because I think it’s a pretty moronic idea to bring a _Hunter_ , let alone werewolf to our pack - our _home_. I mean, are you out of your mind?” She castigates, tucking the loose strands of her long blonde hair behind her ears. 

“ _Kai_ ,” Chanyeol blurts out suddenly. 

“What?” Rosé asks with a bewildered look. 

Chanyeol’s face warms up. “I decided I’m going to call him Kai...” 

“You can’t just name a grotesque creature like that—”

“ _Kai_ is a living being, and I refuse to call him—”

“Refuse to call it what _it_ is?” Rosé interjects, raising her voice, her face contorts nastily. “You should call it exactly what it _is_. A _monster_. Not only is _it_ a Hunter but it’s a fucking werewolf too! It was out _hunting_ us and yet you brought it back here when you know it’s a danger to us! I can’t believe how selfish you are!” 

Chanyeol’s eyes go wide, his brows furrow. “He would have _died_ if I had just left him!” 

“And that would have been for the best!” Rosé retorts, harsh and fast. “What makes it any different than the _Hunter_ you swore you were going to kill for attempting to murder your brother?! Have you forgotten your parents—” 

“ _Rosé_.” The other alpha, Yifan, snaps sternly.

Next to Chanyeol, Yifan is the most loyal to Head Alpha, and Chanyeol thinks if Head Alpha hadn't found him and Baekhyun first then he would have taken Yifan in as his own son. Most times, Head Alpha treats Yifan with a higher status than him.

Chanyeol fists his hands, his knuckles turning white. He can feel the fine hairs of his neck bristling. It was a low-blow on Rosé’s part, but she’s right. Chanyeol was young then, just a pup - Baekhyun not much older - when Hunters took their parents from them. He remembers it all, the ambush that their small, no-name pack wasn’t ready for. He remembers how his father had told them to stay hidden until they weren’t able to anymore. He remembers his mother telling them to run so the three of them ran. Ran so far and so fast but not far or fast enough. Their mother was taken out by a single arrow while Baekhyun took Chanyeol and hid them.

They never saw their father again, and they couldn’t go back for their mother.

Even though Chanyeol had gotten away with his life he still lost it.

Head Alpha had found them days later, hungry and cold.

Still, he’s torn because Kai _is_ a danger— a huge danger. Not only to himself but to those Chanyeol cherishes the most. His heart is heavy thinking about Baekhyun, but there’s something about Kai that enticed Chanyeol - he was drawn to him like the moon's drawn to the Earth, and that’s the best explanation he has.

Yifan places a large, comforting hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder. “What are your plans now, Chanyeol?” He asks, voice steady. It resonates through the enclosed tent. The three of them are in Yifan’s tent, deciding to stay since Rosé was visiting with Yifan already.

Chanyeol slumps his shoulders and runs a hand through his tangled hair. He didn’t really prepare for anything further than bringing him to the Healer of the pack who begrudgingly took him in, but now he knows what he needs to do but doesn’t know how to go about it.

“I don’t have that answer yet, Yifan. It depends on what Head Alpha will say.” Chanyeol pauses for a moment, thinking about having to report to Head Alpha about the situation. There are so many ways it could go and none of them seem appealing at all.

“I dread thinking about how he’s going to react.” Chanyeol continues, mumbling as he hangs his head low. For a moment, he distracts himself from the worry by remembering how peaceful the boy looked as the moonlight shined down on him. The pale colors danced along his skin in shades of white. He looked too calm to be as vicious as something like a werewolf, or Hunter for that matter. 

He looked... ethereal.

“ _Chanyeol_ ,” Rosé growls harshly. 

Chanyeol whips his head up to look at her. Her usual round, bright almond eyes are now dark and piercing his very soul with imaginary daggers. He can see the yellow flames reflecting in her dark irises as her aura changes around her. 

“It can not stay here. You need to get rid of it before Head Alpha returns from the North. Which, to remind you, is tonight. He’s already having to deal with the nitwits up North and doesn’t need to deal with this, _especially_ because you know what he’s been through with Luhan.”

“I _know_ ,” Chanyeol snaps. “I just…” his words drift, lost in the thought of disappointing Head Alpha. It hurts, but throwing Kai out in the cold hurts a little more. 

“It was hunting us down!” Rosé growls, knocking Chanyeol from his thoughts once more. “He was looking for a head to proudly mount on his wall. Does that mean _nothing_ to you?” 

Chanyeol goes to speak but gets cut off. 

“She’s right, Chanyeol.” Yifan concurs. “He was out there doing _just_ that, and it’s why Baekhyun is in the infirmary. Whether you like it not, he is a Hunter. Not a weak, lost soul for you to protect.” 

Rosé holds a palm out towards Yifan as if to say, ‘ _I told you so_ ’. 

Chanyeol’s brows crease, distraught. It was fine when it was just Rosé against him, but now Yifan? Yifan is one of his oldest and closest friends. “We can’t just throw Kai out there in the snow! He’ll freeze to death!” 

Yifan doesn’t say anything, he merely crosses his arms and glances between Chanyeol and Rosé clearly holding his tongue. Yifan is a very rational man; always viewing issues from both sides and is most sensible when looking for reasoning. However, for as calm as he may be he is just as strict.

“There is no ‘we’, Chanyeol. And if you won’t throw the Hunter out then _I_ will.” 

Chanyeol snaps his mouth shut, narrowing his eyes and snarling gravelly. His eyes tint gold in warning as he glares at Rosé. “You will do _no_ such thing,” he growls, using his alpha timbre, something he rarely does especially on other alphas out of respect.

Rosé doesn’t back down as the two alphas glare at one another. Her eyes are just as golden and simmering as Chanyeol’s.

The tension between the two is thick, uncomfortable even, and causes Yifan to speak up once again. “Knock it off you two. Rosé, you will not touch the Hunter as this is Chanyeol’s burden to carry. However, Chanyeol, do not forget the reason that Hunter was out there. He was _hunting._ Specifically us.”

Chanyeol whips his head to glare at Yifan, feeling betrayed. “I’m not overlooking that, but Kai—” 

With a frustrated growl, Rosé stands up and takes a step closer to Chanyeol, kicking loose dirt onto him as she does. “Not only is it a Hunter, Chanyeol, but a werewolf! I don’t know how many times I have to say that to get it through your thick skull! Head Alpha Minseok _will_ know of your defiance, and whether you like it or not, he _will_ toss that thing out in the snow - dead or alive - and you _will_ have to deal with the consequences!” 

With a low, menacing rumble of his own, Chanyeol scrambles to his feet and moves fast around the fire, stepping right up to Rosé. 

Yifan stands, too, if the need to intervene arises. 

Chanyeol glares down at Rosé. He has a good foot on her, but he knows she’s more than capable of holding her own against him. 

“Defiance?” Chanyeol huffs, amused. “I’m nothing if not loyal to Head Alpha. And once I talk with him, no matter how you or I feel about it, it’ll be his call about what to do with Kai whether he stays or goes. Unless you would like to over speak his decision because then _that_ would be _defiance_.”

“It’ll be a cold day in hell before Head Alpha will ever allow that thing to stay.”

The two alphas hold each other’s gaze for several beats before Rosé breaks eye contact with a huff and storms out of the hut, leaving Chanyeol and Yifan without so much as a goodbye.

Chanyeol sighs, relaxing his shoulders once Rosé is out of sight. He’s not looking forward to talking to Head Alpha about this, let alone confronting what he did, but he hopes he can convince Head Alpha to let Kai stay, to give Chanyeol a chance to help him.

Just, anything.

**➶ ———- ➶**

Chanyeol trudges up the snowy cliffside to the Den where the Synod gathers several times a week to discuss issues, mostly political, among the Northern and Southern packs, or matters that concern their own pack directly. 

The Den resides higher up on the mountain, just above the Hallow. It’s restricted and only those closest to the Head Alpha are allowed in..

Chanyeol stops a couple of steps from where the rigid path plateaus outside the Den entrance. He can smell the Head Alpha inside and... can sense his irked temper even from out here. Of course, he’s not going to be in a good mood, Chanyeol gripes internally. He’s been traveling all day, if not since the night before.

Earlier, Chanyeol couldn’t help notice that upon Head Alpha’s return he didn’t greet the pack and that’s never a good sign. Head Alpha only retreats straight to the Den when there’s a pressing matter looming over his head or when he’s under pressure or just not in a good mood.

With a heavy sigh, Chanyeol pushes himself off the icy wall and carefully takes the last few steps up the steps. 

Before Chanyeol can even greet the Head Alpha he’s already being beckoned in.

“Chanyeol, come in.” Head Alpha calls from his desk. The candle that sits on his desk creates dark shadows across his face, warming his pallid complexion in flickers of yellow and orange. 

“Head Alpha--” 

“Drop the formalities, Chanyeol. Just address me by my name.”

Chanyeol hesitates for a moment then nods. “Yes, Minseok…” 

Minseok combs a few strands of stray long, white hairs off his shoulders. His hair is adorned in a few small traditional braids that are tied back by a low ponytail. “Thank you. Now, what brings you here?”

Minseok, the Head Alpha, is the alpha whose eyes glow violently violet. He’s the only alpha known to have purple eyes instead of yellow or red. He’s also the only alpha to have created another pack in centuries. Before creating the Southern pack, all Lycan settled in the North for reasons that it’s much colder in the North and Hunters are less likely to travel in such harsh and cold conditions. 

However, even though Minseok had grown up in the Northern pack, he didn’t like how it was being conducted by the Council of Ashes. So eventually he broke ties with his old homeland and left to create his own pack. A few friends and those who agreed with his political views followed him and together made a pack of misfits or outcasts of sorts, or even those from the North that decided to leave, too. 

Most everyone in the pack has a story of lost loved ones or abandonment or leaving their old home to find another. 

Suddenly Chanyeol’s throat feels dry. The way Minseok’s lavender eyes pierce into his own makes him want to get on his knees and confess what he has done and beg for immediate forgiveness, but he refuses to give in to that primal instinct. Minseok is not only his leader but his adoptive father, Chanyeol reminds himself. Speaking to him should be easy. Minseok’s always allowed him to be open with him about anything, however, he’s not sure about this situation. 

“Chanyeol, what’s troubling you?” 

Taking a couple of small steps forward, Chanyeol straightens up as best he can with the trembling fear coursing under his skin. Keeping his eyes locked with Minseok’s and his voice as steady as possible, Chanyeol finally says, “Minseok, I have a confession- no, a favor to ask of you.” 

At this, Minseok sits up in his chair from where he had been lounging. “Chanyeol, speak.”

“On patrol last night, Hunters were spotted, and I had the Thegnar stalk them, planning to attack.”

“Go on.” 

“Well, it went as planned however, Baekhyun was wounded by one of the Hunters. He’s in critical condition but Yixing is taking care of him.” 

Minseok closes his eyes and rubs the bridge of his nose. “Is that all?” 

“No, not exactly.”

“Then out with it, Chanyeol. I am very tired and have a lot to go over for the next week.” 

Chanyeol takes in a deep breath and quickly says, “I brought a Hunter back to the pack.” 

Minseok whips his head up to glare dangerously at Chanyeol. It makes Chanyeol take a step back. 

“You _what_?” 

“But he’s not just a Hunter, Minseok,” Chanyeol adds quickly, “he’s a werewolf, too.” Internally, Chanyeol cringes. What part of that was supposed to make any of this any better exactly?

Minseok continues to glare at him. Chanyeol’s sure if looks could kill then he’d be dead by now, but they can’t, and instead, Minseok looks like he’s using every ounce of his self-control to not jump over his desk and attack him.

Chanyeol shifts uncomfortably under Minseok’s sharp gaze, wanting to bolt with his tail between his legs. “Minseok, listen–” 

Then, Minseok stands and slams his fists on the wooden desk, making the candle shake and other items jump. “You brought a Hunter who is _also_ a werewolf into _my_ pack?” Minseok he seethes. Suddenly, he moves around his desk, keeping his eyes locked on Chanyeol, and strides right up to him and into his personal space. 

Chanyeol steps back, hunching his shoulders as he tries to keep eye contact with Minseok. Minseok is shorter than him by several inches but his presence is overwhelming, making Chanyeol feel small in comparison.

“But it’s not what you think–” Chanyeol tries only to be cut off.

“Do _not_ tell me what I think,” he growls. “You brought a substantial threat into my pack, my _home_. Are you insane? Possessed?”

“I’m not, no–”

“Then your excuse better be good if it’s caused you to act like a pure _lunatic_.”

Chanyeol winces at the insult. It’s a derogatory term some Lycan use for werewolf because it is believed that the Máni inside is deranged, unhealthy, insane. It’s not an insult to throw around lightly, at least not among Lycan. 

“Please, listen to me. He was going to die; I couldn’t leave him out there!” Chanyeol’s starting to feel like a broken record by now. “I had to save him, Minseok. I needed to help him! It was his first transformation; I saw it all. There is time to help him and I know I can. Please, let me try!”

“Absolutely _not_!” Minseok fumes.

Once when Chanyeol was young, he had asked Minseok why he made his own pack instead of joining another and Minseok had answered that he wanted to separate himself from the Northern pack and make a home for those who couldn’t make their own, a home for those who were tired and hungry, for the young ones left on their own or the old and abandoned.

A home for the hurt and lost, he put simply.

From then on, Chanyeol’s looked up to Minseok. He always watched him with wide eyes in amazement as Minseok strode past with his head up high despite the forlorn expression on his soft face. Minseok is a strong, reliant, and gracious leader, truly a great alpha, and someone to look to in troubling times that never hesitates to take meaningful action. Putting the pack first even if it means endangering his own life.

A truly selfless person.

Chanyeol’s always aspired to be as kind and caring as Minseok, and strong, too, but right now, all the respect and admiration Chanyeol has for him is turning into detesting and loathing. How could such a kind, gracious leader turn away another creature in need? Isn’t this exactly what his foundation is built upon?

“But Minseok, please listen–” 

"No, _you_ listen to your alpha and you better listen well. You brought back not only a Hunter to my pack but a werewolf and expect me to accept this? You’re lucky I don’t strip you of your title of Skeppare.” 

The viciousness in Minseok’s tone makes Chanyeol wince and finally break eye-contact, defeated. Chanyeol’s role as the pack’s Skeppare, commander of the Ulfheonar, and, by extension, the Thegnar, is a proud one, and one held with high regard and a respectable status among the pack.

It’s an honor and important title to carry because pack members look to Chanyeol for answers when Minseok isn’t around, and if anything were ever to happen to Minseok then it would be Chanyeol who steps in. Not only is he responsible for the safety of the Thegnar, but the pack, too. He’s responsible for their protection. 

He _is_ their protection. 

Quickly, Chanyeol kneels in front of Minseok, pressing his index and middle finger to the left side of his chest, right over his heart and keeping it there as he lifts his head. “Head Alpha,” Chanyeol says, hoping his voice isn’t wavering too much. “It wasn’t my intention to put our pack in danger, please, you know of my love for the pack. They are my own heart, but–” 

“Silence.”

Chanyeol snaps his mouth closed and bows his head once more. 

“Don’t you understand what you’ve brought here? Werewolves are demented creatures. They’re the creation of an unnatural relationship between Lycan and humans. You know this! I’ve taught you this!” Minseok expression hardens. “They weren’t meant to exist, and I won’t allow the beast to stay. He needs to go at once and will be tossed out on _your_ order." Minseok finalizes firmly, turning away and unclipping his cloak.

Chanyeol lifts his head and his chest tightens. ‘ _On your order’_ echoes in his ears. 

Distressed, Chanyeol stands and looks on as Minseok doesn’t say anything else. He has barely given him a chance to explain himself fully, and to dismiss him like this, Chanyeol can’t accept it. 

Standing bravely, Chanyeol takes a step forward. His hands are fists at his side, knuckles white. "Head Alpha, how can you just turn him away? Isn’t this what you built your pack on? Helping those in need? Take in the weak and hurt, the abandoned or helpless? He’s all of those–"

“He’s a danger, Chanyeol,” Minseok growls, swiftly turning to face him once again. “He’s a werewolf and Hunter. What don’t you understand? He’s not only a hazard to himself but for others. He needs to be–”

“He needs to be _tamed_ ,” Chanyeol cuts in, growling boldly as he steps closer to Minseok’s desk where the Head Alpha stands. 

Suddenly, Minseok reaches out and grabs Chanyeol by the loose collar of his knitted shirt, twisting the fabric tightly and pulls Chanyeol in close to him, mere inches away from his face. His teeth bared.

Chanyeol flinches. 

"Do you not remember the last time we tried that?" Minseok rumbles through gritted teeth, his eyes shining a vicious violet. As captivating Minseok’s lavender eyes are, they’re just as frightening.

Chanyeol's expression falls after a few moments as he thinks back to Luhan. How can he forget? Luhan was a werewolf that Minseok took in despite knowing the dangers. Minseok was younger then, more careless, and thought he could help anyone. He wanted to help Luhan so badly, but it ended too soon and...tragically.

Minseok had made the unspoken mistake of falling for Luhan only to have let go a couple of years later.

It was so sudden. 

It bittered and broke him.

Chanyeol watches Minseok’s eyes drift down and to the side, reminiscing. He lives with the burden of his nightmares and memories intermingling to become one in the same. "It _won't work_ , and you'll end up..."

' _Like me'_ is on the tip of his tongue, Chanyeol knows, and for a moment he looks at the claw mark engraved across Minseok’s face. From the top of his left eye and down to his jaw. There are several matching pairs across his neck, chest, down his body, but the scars on his face are most prominent and hold the most memory.

A permanent reminder of his mistake. 

"It won't be like that," Chanyeol says softly, bringing a hand up to rest on Minseok’s tight gripped hand. "Luhan was too far gone, Alpha. We had no idea how far until it was too late, but with Kai, I caught him early. This is his first transformation. There's hope for him to learn to control himself. I know I can help him, I felt it." 

Minseok doesn’t loosen his grip on Chanyeol’s shirt as he looks up at him. “What did you call him?”

Chanyeol swallows hard. He didn’t mean to let the name slip. “Kai,” he murmurs. 

Minseok stares, flabbergasted.

Chanyeol opens his mouth to explain himself but nothing comes out. Nothing meaningful anyway. “I-I didn’t want to keep calling him a Hunter or werewolf or _‘it_ ’…It’s too degrading,” his voice becomes small as he looks down to avoid eye contact with the alpha. He feels his cheeks flare in embarrassment.

“You...gave him a name?” Minseok asks, voice now leveled, understanding. 

Chanyeol doesn’t expect Minseok’s voice to come out as gentle as it does. He expects it to be drenched with anger and disappointment as it was before, but then Chanyeol remembers that Minseok had given Luhan his name, too. When he couldn’t recall it after his transformation. No one really knows if he ever did remember, and if he did, he never said anything. 

“I did…” Chanyeol admits, still not looking up.

Minseok sighs and releases Chanyeol. 

When Chanyeol feels his shirt go loose he looks and watches Minseok walk back over to his desk and sit, wordlessly staring down at the table, his eyes moving in thought. The tension in the room is heavy, almost crushing, and it’s quiet enough that Chanyeol can hear both of their hearts thumping wildly.

Then finally, after what feels like an eternity, Minseok speaks. "I will allow him to stay here but he's to reside in the Old Yew. I do not want him near the pack until he's tamed. Yixing will make house calls for check-ins and Jisoo will bring food as needed along with other supplies. If you fail to tame him within the next two moon cycles, then you will–"

"I won't have to," Chanyeol interjects, knowing exactly what Minseok was about to say. He still remembers the dark night when Minseok had to take Luhan down. The Head Alpha wasn’t the same after that night, not when he had to slay the one that he loved most. “I won’t have to, Head Alpha.”

Quietly, Minseok regards Chanyeol. “I’m glad you understand,” he says. “So, I’m sure you will understand when I tell you that you’ll be staying with the boy in the Old Yew.”

It takes Chanyeol a moment to process what was just said but when he does his jaw drops. He can’t be serious? The Old Yew? That’s where Luhan was kept for the safety of the pack, though Minseok did visit with him but never _lived_ there with him.

Then, after Luhan’s passing, Minseok forbade anyone to enter it so no one’s been in it ever since. It gives Chanyeol the creeps. 

“Head Alpha,” Chanyeol huffs in amusement. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am, and this is non-negotiable. You clearly have a lot to learn about taming a werewolf because that’s the first thing you should know: he must be under your watch all hours of the day. He sleeps when you sleep. He eats when you eat. He pisses when you piss. Do you understand that? I don’t want him out of your sight.”

“But–”

“Let your Alpha speak,” Minseok demands firmly, shutting Chanyeol up. “I’ve been through this. I know what I’m talking about. I know the mistakes I made thus the mistakes you need to avoid. He must submit to you, Chanyeol,” Minseok exhales a heavy breath, “and in order for that to happen then he needs to be around you and you must assert your dominance as alpha.” 

There’s a heavy pause between them. Minseok brings his eyes up to lock with Chanyeol’s. “You’re a very strong and capable alpha, and I know if anyone is to be able to tame him then it’s you. And when you succeed in doing so then I’ll feel better leaving the pack in your hands.” 

Chanyeol’s eyes go wide in shock and he goes to comment, but Minseok holds his hand up and Chanyeol obediently stops.

“It’s known that the pack will be left to you. It’s what I wanted since taking you and Baekhyun in. And if you can get through this then it’ll solidify my decision. I’ll truly know that you’re capable of taking care of my loved ones, but we’ll discuss that more at another time.” 

Chanyeol has known that the pack would be left to him, but this soon? It makes Chanyeol wonder if Minseok is ill or in trouble or something? Minseok is fairly young, so why would he bring this up right now? He wants to ask so many questions and wishes Minseok wouldn’t have burdened him with this information so suddenly, not now of all times, but he needs to trust his Alpha. 

“I understand, Head Alpha,” Chanyeol says calmly, bowing his head.

“Good. Now, we have a lot to discuss. I'll be leaving again tomorrow because I have a lot more to talk to the chieftain of the North about, so listen carefully because there’s so much more you need to know about werewolves, and I will be gone for a week.”

“I’m listening.”

“Taming them is not a stroll through the woods.” Minseok stands and walks over to a large stack of books piled behind him. Most are covered in dust, except for one- the one on top and the one Minseok grabs first.

Chanyeol feels a heaviness in his chest. He knows exactly what that book is so Minseok must have been looking through it recently.

Minseok sets the book down in front of Chanyeol. “Have a seat.”

Chanyeol does as he’s told.

“We’re going to go through my journal together, so ask questions now. I’ll allow you to bring it with you in the Yew.” 

“Head Alpha, I don’t–” 

“Think it’s necessary? This isn't a game, Chanyeol. There’s no win or lose, it's do or die. Do you understand that?”

Chanyeol nods his head and casts his eyes down. “Yes, Head Alpha.”

“Good. Now let’s get started.” Minseok flips through a couple of pages before stopping on one in particular. “I know I’ve taught you about werewolves and you’ve heard stories and have even seen me around Luhan some, but what I’m going to tell you now is from first-hand experience. The first thing that needs to be established is that werewolves are cunning, if they don’t use their minds then they’ll use their bodies and will try to take advantage of you. You must demand their respect and you mustn’t be tempted by him, no matter how alluring or calm or upset he is. You must not let your guard down or he will kill you. Do you understand that, Chanyeol?”

Swallowing hard, Chanyeol bows his head respectfully. “Yes, Alpha.”

Minseok plops down in his fur pelted seat, leaning away from the book and rubs his temples. “There’s one other thing that needs to be taken into consideration. The one thing I do not have experience within this situation.” 

“What is it, Head Alpha?”

Minseok looks up at Chanyeol. “Unlike Luhan, this boy is a _Hunter_. Never forget that Lycans are a game to him so I can’t reinforce it enough that you always need to be on guard. I’m sure he won’t hesitate to kill you if given the chance.”

Chanyeol looks up, eyes wide as if a candle has finally been lit. For whatever reason, Chanyeol’s yet to really let that fact sink in. Even if Rosé had been pointing it out to him several times, Yifan and Minseok, too. Kai is a Hunter, and from what Chanyeol witnessed he’s a skilled one. So not only does he have to deal with a werewolf, but a hunter, as well. He’s been so focused on the werewolf part of Kai that he didn’t even think about how Kai the Hunter would react.

"Oh..." Chanyeol says softly, dumbly. 

“Additionally, I’ll write a letter to address with the pack tomorrow,” Minseok says, snapping Chanyeol from his thoughts. “They deserve it to be said by me in person, however, I have prior obligations so Yifan or Chang-hoon will have to deliver the message. I would have you do it, but they’re already not going to be pleased, with the information so it's better if one of them does it. I hope they will be understanding because if I…” 

Sadness clouds Minseok’s features as he glances away from Chanyeol. His fists clenched tightly on the arms of his chair. ‘ _If I could just redeem myself_ ’ is what Chanyeol hears though Minseok remains silent. He can sense the guilt dwelling inside the other as he thinks back to Luhan once more.

Minseok has never forgiven himself for not being able to save his mate and putting his pack in immense danger. 

“I know they will not be happy," Chanyeol says quickly, filling the silence and bringing Minseok's attention back to him, "but they deserve to know just in case…. you know.” 

“Right, in case Kai decides to go _berserk_.” 

Must Minseok be so blunt? Chanyeol thinks. “Yes, in case of that. Will Kai be able to remain in the infirmary until Yixing says he can leave?” Chanyeol asks.

“No. He must go immediately. If I had known he was in there, to begin with, he would have been put out.”

Chanyeol winces. A simple ‘no’ would have been okay. “Understood...Um, I’ll need help bringing Kai to the Old Yew.” Chanyeol says, quickly changing the subject back to the matter. “He was unconscious only hours ago. I can assume nothing has changed.”

“Very well. Let Yixing know that Yifan and Zitao will be helping you move him.” Minseok says, looking back to his journal. “And Chanyeol, I can’t stress this enough, but if you fail, it’ll be you who has to kill him.”

Chanyeol pales but nods curtly. He understands the outcomes and the weight of this challenge, but he firmly believes he’ll be able to save him. 

He has to. 

“Yes, Head Alpha,” he says quietly. 

“Alright, get comfortable. We will be here for a while.”

**➶ ———- ➶**

_First and foremost, you must be assertive. Under no condition will you allow the Máni to even taste what dominance feels like in your presence because the boy, I assume from what you saw, is unaware of what is happening to him, therefore, let the Máni take over his physical form and that is a form of claiming dominance._

Right, don’t ever let it get a taste of power.

Máni _are cunning and conniving. However, this one, Kai, in particular, will not only have the instincts of a wolf but the acute sense of a Hunter too. So it’s critical that you establish yourself as the Alpha immediately. You_ have _to be the Alpha of Kai. It’ll be difficult to balance, but you must be calm yet assertive. The beast inside him will know if your spirit is unsteady. It'll see it as a weakness and try to correct your unbalanced behavior._

_Start training him to submit on cue. Use your baritone vocals to implement it. His Máni won’t want to submit so easily but keep in mind that he’s also human, and humans are vulnerable to authority especially in strange situations. Exploit his defenselessness to your advantage._

_Speaking of Kai being human, make sure you in mind at all times that he’s not fully human or full Lycan, but a mixture of the two. He’s more elusive, more intelligent, more ferocious, and because he’s a Hunter he’ll have a stronger prey drive and will be significantly more unpredictable._

_Set rules, limitations, and boundaries. There should be rules for where Kai can go and can't go within the Yew without your permission. This includes outside. Under no circumstances should he be allowed outside without your supervision. Ideally, he shouldn't be out at all, but you're strong, Chanyeol. I feel that you can handle it if you do need to bring him out._

_As for limitations, you will decide when he will eat. Ideally, you will eat first then allow him to eat. Only let him feast when you tell him it's okay to. For boundaries, do not approach him. Let him come to you. You're a leader to him, let him come to you to reinforce your role as Alpha._

The two of them go over minor details as dawn approaches. just little questions Chanyeol had or more in-depth information in certain areas. Chanyeol took notes as Minseok spoke and shoved them inside the journal before being dismissed.

Chanyeol leaves Minseok’s cavern hours later with the book in hand so many thoughts swirl in his head. He’s been given so much information that his head reeling with doubt and fear, but also determination and conviction. He’s confident that he’ll be able to tame Kai; all he has to do is make him submit, obey him, and make him manage his own emotions within time.

But Chanyeol doesn’t have a lot of time. He only has until the beginning of Spring to tame him. 

Chanyeol makes his way down the snowy slope of the mountain still thinking over his task. He thinks of Luhan and how the werewolf inside just snapped one day, becoming berserk without warning and how it had damaged their pack. 

After the incident, everyone was on edge for months. Especially around their Head Alpha. For months, Minseok was unapproachable. Only the trust few of his Synod could get close to him and even then there was hesitation on both sides.

It had gotten so bad at one point that the pack had thought there would be a change in Head Alpha because of Minseok’s strange behavior. However, he had come to his senses before an uprising could happen. 

Chanyeol doesn’t want Kai to go Berserk. It’s a horrifying sight; the werewolf loses itself, drunk on rage and freedom. There’s no consulting a werewolf once it's gone Berserk. 

The saddest part is, if it's not killed, then it’ll die from the overwhelming power it possesses which the host’s body can’t handle, and eventually its heart will stop.

He doesn’t want that to happen to Kai. 

He can’t let it happen. 

Chanyeol looks over the timeworn journal Minseok had given him.

He notices details that he didn’t before like claw marks on the cover and some pages are torn while others have fallen out of the seams. It’s filled with recordings of dates and activities of the day. What Luhan was doing, what he ate, and how he slept. There are also notes of techniques work best and what doesn’t work. 

Minseok must have known Luhan wasn’t doing well if he was logging all this information. 

Will he have to make additions to Minseok’s journal, Chanyeol wonders.

He sighs and tucks the book under his arm and continues down the slope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO!! How did you like it? I hope you enjoyed it and will anticipate the next chapter!!
> 
> There are some notes/vocab that I would like to list here just for clarity in case it didn't make sense in the story (sometimes my mind is all over the place orz)
> 
> Spirits:  
> > Hygge: human spirit  
> > Máni: wolf spirit
> 
> The Southern pack's military force:  
> > The Ulfheonar - the military (like an army)  
> > The Skeppare - Head of the Ulfheonar (commander)  
> > Thegnar - Warriors in the Ulfheonar (like troops)
> 
> Council of Ashes:  
> > An assembly of Lycan from the North that makes executive decisions within the territory of the Ashes.
> 
> Synod:  
> > Small council within the Southern pack made up of Head Alpha Minseok, Chanyeol, Yifan, Yixing, Rosé, Chang-hoon, and Zitao.
> 
> I think that's it! I'll probably edit if I miss something ^^"
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoyed the fic, and thank you SO much for your patience, your kind comments, and for reading!  
> If you have any questions, please feel free to comment or ask me on my [CC](https://curiouscat.me/MlNMOONGlE)!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Long time, no see, and I'm so sorry about that! I started work and I have been busy, busy, busy! But while working, I've made time to edit chapter three!
> 
> Now, this chapter is long TT0TT it's a big boy but it's one of my favorites so far and really sets the scene for how the story will go from here!
> 
> I want to thank you all for your lovely comments too! It means a lot to me that so many of you are invested in the story and I can't wait to share more with you. I will reply to comments ASAP and just, thank you again!
> 
> I really hope you enjoy it, and that it was worth the wait. Thank you to those that have been encouraging and supportive and have waited for an update!

Chanyeol makes it back to the Healing Hut.

Admittedly he took his time getting there and will use the snowy weather as an excuse if Yixing asks. It’s doubtful that he will, but just in case.

The truth is, there’s so much going through Chanyeol’s mind right now that he can barely focus. He stumbled several times on his way to the healing Hut, both from being lost in thought to pure exhaustion. 

In an hour or so, Minseok is going to make an announcement about Kai’s presence so he wants to get Kai and go before he runs into any pack members because surely, after knowing, they’ll likely be angry at him. But before anything else, he needs to see Baekhyun. 

_ Baekhyun... _

Shamefully, Baekhyun’s health has been second on Chanyeol’s mind, but not because he doesn’t care - the moon knows how much he cares for Baekhyun - but because, selfishly, Chanyeol doesn’t like to think about Baekhyun being hurt, let alone seeing him hurt, especially since it’s  _ his  _ fault. It was  _ Chanyeol  _ that let Baekhyun take the lead last night and it was  _ Chanyeol  _ that sent him to his almost death. 

The guilt makes him feel ashamed for his absent-minded orders, but last night wasn’t easy for Chanyeol either. Even before going on patrol Chanyeol had felt off; his head felt cloudy and was pounding, just thrumming with pain that not even Yixing could calm down, and it must have affected his judgment - no, of course, it affected his judgment. He would never have ordered Baekhyun to attack that Hunter, not without immediate backup. 

Chanyeol stops, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. That night, right before he ordered Baekhyun to attack and right before Baekhyun trotted up to him, Chanyeol had stumbled against a large boulder. Hsi vision white - as white as his spirit - and he could barely manage to stand. He remembers the moon bearing down on him from the opening in the canopy above him. It was so warm, he remembers as if it was the sun scorching him. Chanyeol remembers that he had almost yowled for help until the pain subsided abruptly as if it never happened. 

Baekhyun had followed up with him only moments later, telling him that there were two Hunters nearby. Chanyeol didn’t want Baekhyun to see him in any condition that wasn’t healthy because he would fret about it and lose focus, so in Chanyeol’s panic, he ordered Baekhyun to attack.

Never in a million years would he have sent him alone.

It was foolish.

And now Baekhyun is in critical condition because of him, because of Kai. Chanyeol searches in himself to find anger, find any little spark that will ignite any ill will toward Kai, but there’s nothing. All Chanyeol can think about seeing Kai lying limp on the ground and how he was drawn to him. 

It couldn’t be anything other than destiny; what the moon wanted for him. 

Chanyeol continues to the Healing Hut but stops when he arrives. He stands outside as he stares blankly at the pelt covering the entrance. 

Light snow starts to fall, collecting on his broad shoulders. It’s this moment as he stares off anticipating Baekhyun’s condition, how Yixing will most likely chide him again, and how to face Yifan and Zitao when they show up that he realizes how  _ exhausted  _ he is. He’s been up a full day now, has been in and out of his wolf form, and hasn’t eaten anything since the night before. 

What he would do to just rest right now.

Blinking slowly, Chanyeol exhales heavily and dusts off the snow from his shoulders and pulls the drape to the hut aside, entering quietly. 

The front of the hut is where Yixing works; noting ingredients and measurements for remedies or elixirs, or recording the progress of an experiment. There are several tombes stacked neatly against the wall, filled with notes from years of practice. In the dusty wall, the dirt is carved out and is lined with small vials and jars of different sizes; containing herbs, flowers, and spices and some of the small bottles holding liquids of different colors or white powders. Hanging from the walls are vines and plants that Yixing keeps for the potions he creates, Chanyeol assumes.

In the back of the hut is where patients stay: the infirmary. 

In the infirmary, there are several cots lined up, each one separated by a pelt for privacy. Embers from the small fire in the center burn for heat while torches in the corners of the walls burn for light.

Chanyeol strides past Yixing, who is sitting at his desk, without so much as a greeting. Yixing doesn’t acknowledge his existence either, and it’s probably for the best. Chanyeol would rather not be chided as a greeting.

Chanyeol pulls the drape to the infirmary back and looks to Kai first where he’s still peacefully resting in the cot dead center to the entrance. He notices the warmth has come back to his complexion giving him a beautiful, glistening tan - completely contrasting the pale and blue Chanyeol first saw. 

For a moment, Chanyeol lets his gaze linger on Kai’s features. His lips, now pink and plush, his lashes thick and full, his jawline is defined, sharp even. He’s truly stunning, Chanyeol thinks, as a warmth settles in his chest. The relief he feels knowing Kai is recovering lightens the heavy burden sitting in his chest. 

But the weight falls elsewhere.

Chanyeol startles when he hears a large thud behind him. He tears his eyes away from Kai to look over his shoulder. It’s Yixing; moving large sacks of whatever it is he keeps in his space. Turning back, Chanyeol looks at Kai once more before down casting his eyes. He’s also here for Baekhyun, too. Stepping inside the infirmary fully, Chanyeol walks over to the right to Baekhyun’s cot

When Chanyeol pushes the pelt to the side, his eyes go wide at the now-empty bed. A heavy dread makes his stomach drop. Irrationally, Chanyeol looks around the cot and even the others he knows are empty because he walked past them just moments ago before making his way back to the front of the hut. 

Panic is starting to set in as he thinks of the worst, the  _ absolute worst _ , of what could have happened to Baekhyun. No, he must be okay. Yixing would have told him otherwise!

Panicked still, Chanyeol stands in the doorway where Yixing is sitting calmly at his desk. His long sable hair tied back into a messy bun and his bifocals rest delicately on the tip of his nose. Chanyeol stalks up to him, planting both palms firmly on the desk, making it rattle. Vials clink and one even falls over from the motion. 

It takes every ounce Chanyeol has to not bark at Yixing about where Baekhyun is. Yixing knew Chanyeol was coming back. He  _ knew  _ Chanyeol would want to see his brother! What game is he playing? Chanyeol can feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest and pounding in his ears and just as he’s about to speak, Yixing holds a hand up in his face, stopping him in his tracks. 

“I had Minho and Jinki to bring Baekhyun back to your hut.”

“Why?” Chanyeol growls.

“I didn’t want him around the werewolf,” Yixing explains reasonably. “Jennie is looking after him at the moment. She’s quite the caretaker.”

"Chanyeol’s shoulders sag in relief though his hands are fisted now as a wave of subtle anger rumbles through him. “Why didn’t you say something?” he grits out.

“Because I assumed you were here to see your werewolf friend.”

Chanyeol clenches his fists, his knuckles turn white and his face contorts in anger. Yixing’s assumption makes his blood boil. “That’s not—”

“Speaking of your friend there,” Yixing nods his head toward the infirmary. 

Chanyeol eases off Yixing’s desk and walks back to the infirmary entrance and gazes at Kai. “What about him?” he asks informally, annoyance laced in his tone.

“Well, he’s been out cold since last night when you brought him, so about six, maybe seven hours, and he’s stable which is excellent,” Yixing murmurs monotonously, not looking at Chanyeol as he measures another bit of powder and sprinkling it in another mixture. 

Chanyeol’s chest tightens in anticipation. He knows there’s a ‘but’ following Yixing statement, and he wants to growl  _ but what _ , but stays quiet instead.

“But I’m going to have to force him awake if he does not rise by tomorrow.”

“Why?” Chanyeol asks, quickly looking over his shoulder at Yixing. “He’s resting. I mean, he’s healing?”

“If you keep addressing me informally, Chanyeol, I will remove you from the hut.”

Chanyeol glares at Yixing for a second before he turns back around. “Sorry, Healer,” he apologizes softly.

“What I’m getting at, Chanyeol is that the boy needs to feed and drink. I can only force so much water down his throat before he drowns,” Yixing drawls, “and it’s not likely you’ll enjoy feeding him the mashed vegetables I’ve been given him.

Sighing heavily, Chanyeol runs a hand through his tangled, snow-damp hair. Another thing to worry about. How’s he going to feed him if he does not rise? Frustration replaces anger now. “I need to get him to the Old Yew first before you do that,” Chanyeol mumbles.

At this, Yixing sets his tools in the mortar and turns to look directly at him for the first time since he came in. Curiously, he asks, “The Old Yew, you say?”

Chanyeol nods, the corners of his lips tilting downwards. He’s still not thrilled about the idea. Chanyeol lets the pelt fall and crosses his arms over his chest, leaning on the door frame. He’s facing Yixing but averts his gaze from him.

Yixing hums thoughtfully before turning back to his mixture. “No one’s been in there since…”

“I know,” Chanyeol interjects quickly, “but it’s what Head Alpha wants.”

Yixing nods. “Well, he doesn’t have any belongings with him so he’s ready to go whenever you’re ready to take him. However, I did take the liberty of putting him in some spare clothes. Wouldn’t want him to freeze now would we?” Yixing adds dryly and Chanyeol gives him a look that goes unnoticed.

“Also, Jisoo prepared a couple of bags of supplies for you to take with you. She left them right over there,” Yixing nods to one of the corners of the room. “There are spare clothes for the boy along with lotions and lavender to wash with.”

Chanyeol tilts his head up to follow the direction Yixing nodded in. He sees a few sacks sitting neatly in the corner, some large and some small. It makes Chanyeol smile. Jisoo is Yixing’s mate. She’s probably the sweetest person Chanyeol knows. Much,  _ much  _ different than her sister, Rosé. 

“Please tell her I send my thanks,” Chanyeol says, looking back to the Healer. “It’ll help out a lot since Head Alpha wants Kai out of here immediately. I still need to pack, but if he’s all set then it shouldn’t be difficult.”

Yixing hums.

There’s silence between them; only the clicking of stone against stone as Yixing continues to grind herbs together. The air is tense and heavy. Chanyeol feels as if there’s an invisible wall separating the two of them and doesn’t know how to break it down. 

Chanyeol and Yixing have always had a good relationship, only being a few years apart, and talking to Yixing always comes easy to Chanyeol. When Yixing isn’t all business he’s just as goofy as Chanyeol, if not a little more, but right now it feels as if they’ve never met each other before now.

“Yixing—”

“We’re fine, Chanyeol. Just, get him out of here. Jisoo will be here shortly and I don’t want him around her.”

Sighing, Chanyeol nods. “Right. Well, Head Alpha said that he’s going to send Yifan and Zitao to help transport him,” Chanyeol bites his lip as he stares dolefully down at the jute rug, dirtied by tracks of clay and dirt from outside the hut. He’s stalling. He knows he is, and he’s sure Yixing knows he is too, but why. 

Why is he stalling?

“What’s troubling you, Chanyeol?” Yixing finally asks, exasperated. He’s still not looking in Chanyeol’s direction. 

Chanyeol pushes himself off the wall to pace to the center of the room. “I just. I’m not sure about all of this.”

“Well, you better get sure because you’ve made a commitment and need to follow through with it.”

“But what if I can’t tame him? What if I have to kill him, or what if he kills me? Or worse, what if he goes berserk and goes on a rampage and hurts the pack?” Chanyeol can feel himself getting worked up, panic and exhaustion are making his thoughts run haywire. 

“Then you and the others will die before he dies, too.” Yixing states bluntly. 

Chanyeol’s not sure he likes that answer, though it’s the truth. 

“In fact,” Yixing continues, “it would have been easier on everyone if you had just let him die in the first place.” 

There it is. The invisible wall. 

Chanyeol winces. He really shouldn’t have expected any other answer than that one. Not from the methodical Healer like Yixing. 

“Thanks,” Chanyeol mumbles flatly.

“However,” Yixing adds, “you will be able to tame him, Chanyeol. Minseok would not have allowed you to do this if he didn’t think you were capable.”

Chanyeol lets that sink in for a minute. Everyone seems to have more faith in him than he has for himself. “Everyone seems to be thinking that, but I think Minseok’s only putting so much faith in me because he’s still guilty about Luhan and wants to redeem himself through me.”

“ _ No _ ,” Yixing snaps suddenly, a low growl rumbling in his chest. “That is what  _ you _ want. You couldn’t just let this  _ die _ . I know you view Minseok as a father figure since he took you and Baekhyun in, but Minseok has  _ finally  _ put Luhan in the past where he needs to stay, so I can only assume that you’re doing this for _ yourself _ . To prove to Minseok and the pack that you would make a capable alpha. One that is able to tame a wild beast. An alpha worthy of being Unless my assumption is incorrect?”

Chanyeol is stunned, wide-eyed, and speechless. He watches Yixing, watches how his fingertips tremble, and how his body goes tense. It puts Chanyeol on guard. “I’ve told you, Yixing, I couldn’t just leave him there! If you could have seen how afraid and helpless he was, you would have brought him back, too!”

“Negative,” Yixing confirms without hesitation. He turns around in his chair, finally giving Chanyeol his full attention. “I would never have brought that monster back. I would have thought the situation through. I would have thought of Jisoo and the pack’s safety first. You bringing him here has endangered all of us, including yourself, and it’s all because you felt drawn to him. I’m as devout as you are, but I never would have acted on a feeling. We’re in grave danger, Chanyeol, and if that boy decides to wake up and go berserk, which could be at any moment for all we know, we would be all but defenseless as we’re unprepared for such an act. Minseok is going to take the majority of the Thegnar with him on his outing. We have you, Chanyeol, but even you and Yifan and Zitao wouldn’t be enough to stop him then.”

Chanyeol stiffens, rendered speechless once more.

Before Chanyeol can reply with anything other than an admission of his stupidity the drape to the hut lifts and Yifan appears with Zitao looking over his shoulder. They’re too large for both of them to stand in the doorway.

“Uh, did we interrupt?” Zitao asks, glancing between the two.

“No, you did not. Welcome. Come in,” Yixing says, looking away from Chanyeol and giving the pair quick regard, smiling tight, before turning in his seat and back to the powders he’s crushing.

The brothers step in one at a time and instantly the hut becomes too crowded. Among the pack, Chanyeol, Yifan, and Zitao are the largest alphas so crowding a space like this one isn’t difficult for them. It doesn’t help that Yixing is more or less a hoarder of organized chaos.

“Ready?” Yifan asks Chanyeol, crossing his arms over his chest. Of the two brothers, Yifan looks the most intense. His thick eyebrows and small, narrow eyes make him look forceful whenever he stares down at others - whether he means to or not. 

As for Zitao, he looks acute in a different way. His features are sharp, almost calculating especially when his eyes are lined with coal, but his features easily melt into something sunny, more pleasant.

Chanyeol looks from Yifan to Zitao, taking notice that Zitao has gotten his hair done. Zitao’s once unruly, long tan hair is now styled back in intricate braids, large and small, decorated with beads. It’s a traditional look for alphas in their pack, both male and female. Most of the alphas wear similar styles, though some keep their hair long or cut it short.

It reminds Chanyeol that he needs to get his own done.

Chanyeol keeps his dark brown hair shoulder length and tied back. He hasn’t had it styled in months and it’s starting to become a tangled hassle.

“Almost,” Chanyeol says, rubbing the back of his neck, “But I need to visit Baekhyun first, and if he’s awake then maybe explain to him what’s going on. Uhm, I won’t be long, so can you two wait here? Just...in case Kai wakes up unexpectedly,” Chanyeol glances over at Yixing but Yixing doesn’t bother to comment.

“Sure thing,” Zitao says, the corner of his lip quirked up. 

“Thanks…I’ll be right back,” Chanyeol bows quickly to his brothers and leaves.

Walking out of the warmth of the hut, Chanyeol’s hit by a sudden wall of cold, chilling him to his bones. It’s so cold,  _ much  _ colder than it was earlier despite the sun rising. The sunlight won’t hit their small village until later in the day, but even then it’ll still be an overcast day. It’s also starting to snow heavier Chanyeol notices so he has to be quick. It’s not likely he’ll get to see Baekhyun for long, depending on Baekhyun’s condition, but he really needs to hurry before the conditions worsen.

  
  


➶ ———— ➶

  
  
  


Chanyeol gets back to Hollow.

The sun is rising now and there are only a few pack members up and about. 

Minseok’s escorts are among the pack members awake, collected near Hallow's entrance, waiting for Minseok to arrive. Minseok is leaving again, going to the North this time to discuss uniting their warriors during the Hunting season. 

The North and South packs are good to keep to themselves respectively and maintain peace, especially in trying times like Hunting season, but recently, there have been issues with stray Lycans from the North wandering into the Southern territory to hunt so now there is a confrontation to solve.

Just as Chanyeol is about to enter the Hallow, the escorts perk up before kneeling and bowing with their fingers over their heart. Chanyeol stops, tilting his head at the action until he hears his name being called from behind him. He turns around to see Minseok waving him down. There are two Thegnar walking a couple of feet behind him.

“Head Alpha…” Chanyeol says, turning to walk in the direction of Minseok, meeting him halfway. As Chanyeol approaches, Minseok dismisses his aid. The Thegnar gives Chanyeol a nod before leaving the two of them to talk.

“I’m glad I ran into you, Chanyeol,” Minseok says, softer than Chanyeol’s ever heard him before.

“Is everything okay?” Chanyeol asks.

“Yes, yes,” Minseok answers, waving his hand dismissively, “I just wanted to see you before I left, and I wanted you to hear the temporary adjustments come from me. I’m going to have Rosé announce to the pack of the changes that will be happening, along with the information regarding Kai. It is only fair that they know. She will also be the pack’s interim Alpha while I’m gone. Everyone will answer to her, and if they can not then they can go to Yifan or Yixing. Yifan will be acting Skeppare and taking the lead on patrols. You shouldn’t have to worry about anything other than Kai.”

This information isn’t all that surprising to Chanyeol, just irksome. But not because Rosé will be in charge - no, she’s a perfect candidate, but because Yifan is taking his position. If Chanyeol had his choice, he would have appointed Zitao to take his place because he and Zitao share the same views as to how patrolling should go and Zitao knows Chanyeol’s routine. 

It’s Zitao who Chanyeol trusts most in his absence. 

“Are you sure Yifan is a good choice?” Chanyeol blurts.

Minseok narrows his eyes. “Are you questioning my decisions?”

Chanyeol straightens up quickly, “With all due respect, Head Alpha. Zitao knows my routine better than I do. I think he would be a better pick.”

Minseok’s eyes soften and his smile is gentle, reassuring, and not one anyone sees very often anymore. “Zitao is a fine warrior, one of the best, but I can not count on him to lead the Thegnar at this point in time. Yifan has more experience and is much more capable. I would feel more confident with him in your place.”

“Yes, Head Alpha,” Chanyeol says softly and doesn’t offer a smile in return; he’s too exhausted to bicker about this right now, and he doesn’t have the time. He’s sure Zitao will understand.

A hand lands on his shoulder, catching his attention. Chanyeol looks up, not realizing he had dropped his head in the first place and sees Minseok’s concerned expression. The way his eyebrows crease together and the corners of his small mouth turn down. Chanyeol’s seen this look plenty of times - most times when Chanyeol was young and would cry because he missed his mother.

“Chanyeol…” Minseok says carefully as if Chanyeol will break.

Chanyeol won’t break, but he feels a little fragile. Taking in a deep breath, Chanyeol wills himself a second wind and stands up straight once more, now towering over Minseok. “Rest assured that everything is going to be fine upon your return, Head Alpha,” he states confidently. 

Minseok smirks up at him. “Aren’t I supposed to be reassuring you?”

“Usually,” Chanyeol answers, smiling gingerly, “but things are different this time, so I don’t want you to worry. Everything will be fine.”

Reaching up, Minseok cups Chanyeol’s cheek, and Chanyeol dissolves into his touch as the snow melts in the sun. Minseok’s hands are comforting, his physical touch healing, and Chanyeol wonders if Minseok really can heal him. “I know that, Chanyeol. I have the utmost faith in you.”

With a sigh of content, Chanyeol opens his eyes and blinks slowly at Minseok. He really wishes Minseok didn’t have to leave, not right now. It’s worse because he doesn’t know how long Minseok will be gone this time, and he doubts Minseok knows either. The Northern pack can be quite stubborn and tends to drag their feet on pressing issues. 

Chanyeol just wants his Alpha to have a pack to come home to and not a massacre. 

“Thank you, Minseok,” Chanyeol murmurs, turning his head to press his lips to the palm of Minseok’s hand. “I’ll do my best. I promise.” 

“I trust you,” Minseok says and slowly moves his hand away. “I have to get going. It’s a day’s trip up to the North and, well, Lisa predicts the weather will not be in our favor.”

As much as Chanyeol wants to plead for Minseok to stay and wait out the foreseen whether he knows that Minseok wouldn’t. He’s not one to stray from his responsibilities and follows through with the commitments he makes.

“Please travel safe,” is what Chanyeol mutters, downcasting his eyes. 

“Look at me,” Minseok orders, suddenly. 

Instantly, Chanyeol looks at Minseok right in his soft lilac eyes. It’s easy to get lost in Minseok’s eyes; Chanyeol’s never seen anything like them and doesn’t quite understand why his eyes are such a shade of color. They’re odd, like Minseok’s snow-white hair and pallid complexion. 

To Chanyeol, he looks like a deity created by the moon herself, and who’s to say that he isn’t. 

“When I return,” Minseok says, “I need you to be ready to take my place.”

For Lycans, there are two ways to become the head alpha of the pack: through hereditary or ritual. 

No, not this again. “Head Alpha, are you sick?” Chanyeol asks in urgency. “Are you not well because we must tell Yixing--”

The most common way for another alpha to take the role of Head Alpha is to be an alpha of direct lineage. As if a royal heir was taking their place on the throne. However, the current Head Alpha must pass into the next world for the next of kin to become Head Alpha.

“No, Chanyeol. I’m not ill, I’m  _ tired _ . I’ve been around a long time, much longer than you’ve been alive, and I simply don’t have the energy or desire to do this anymore. I can feel my Behärska dwindling and you’re the only one who can take care of the pack as I do. It has to be you, so you have to tame Kai and you have to be ready to don red eyes.”

The other way to obtain the mantle is through a ritual where the appointed next Head Alpha must fight, concur, and consume the blood of the current Head Alpha. The point in doing this is to expand the newly coming alpha’s Behärska.

Every alpha possesses a charm, or arousing admiration, in its Máni called Behärska. The Behärska grows larger and more powerful the more Lycan that submit and pledge loyalty to said alpha. An alpha becomes the Head Alpha when their Máni’s Behärska becomes significant enough in size where other Lycan’s Máni can feel its presence even from a distance. The Behärska increases in size over a Lycan’s lifetime but the most significant increase happens when an alpha dominates the Head Alpha through power, forcing the Head Alpha to submit.

Through either method, the new Head Alpha’s eyes will glow red and they will become the leader of the pack.

“What if I’m not ready?” Chanyeol says, rushed, “Wouldn’t Yifan be a better fit-”

“Silence,” Minseok snaps firmly, “you’ve always compared yourself to Yifan, and there’s no need to. Yifan is a great Lycan, one that others can look up to, but he’s too methodical in his ways. Not saying that is necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes you must think less with your mind and more with your heart, and that’s what he lacks.”

Chanyeol watches as Minseok slowly brings a hand to rest on his chest, right over his heart. Flashbacks to Minseok sitting with Luhan, eyeing him with such fondness as they laugh together flood Chanyeol’s mind. Minseok had chosen to go with his heart instead of his head - but was that really the right choice? 

“And moons know that you’re full of heart,” Minseok continues easily, pulling Chanyeol from his thoughts, “so maybe look to Yifan for advice when your heart is too tired, but make sure your decisions are always yours. Understood?”

There’s a brief moment of silence between them; Chanyeol stares down at Minseok. How can Minseok look so certain when Chanyeol’s never been more unsure in his life.

Swallowing hard, Chanyeol nods. He places his hand on top of Minseok’s. “Understood, Head Alpha.”

Before pulling his hand away, Minseok takes Chanyeol's hand and squeezes. “Do well and take care.”

Immediately Chanyeol kneels onto the snow-covered ground and presses his fingers to his chest, right over his heart with his head down. Chanyeol stays like this until Minseok passes by him, fluffing his hair as he does. When he hears Minseok’s footsteps drift away, he blinks his eyes open to stare blankly at the snow. 

Minseok is serious about him becoming Head Alpha. 

No one submits to Chanyeol. No one sees him as the threat his title holds. No one takes him seriously and he knows this. He is liked among the pack, but feared? Respected? He’s not so sure. The way Minseok believes in him suffocates Chanyeol sometimes; the pressure to rise to the occasion, to not let Minseok down is only one disappointment look away from making Chanyeol crumble.

For a moment, Chanyeol’s face contorts. His shoulders tremble as he grips the snow, letting it dissolve in his fists. Taking in a breath then another, and one more, Chanyeol sniffles and quickly wipes his eyes dry with the back of his hand. He has no time for this.

When he stands and turns Minseok and his men are already gone. 

He needs to go, too.

Drawing back the pelt to the Hallow, Chanyeol steps inside and is greeted by a waft of warmth.

Around him, the cave glows a soft dark orange as a few pack members with their half-asleep pups gather around the fire in the center to prepare for communal breakfast. All pack members, aside from the pups, have appointed duties to perform regularly like patrolling, hunting, gathering food and supplies, looking after the pups, cooking, and other tasks that need to be done on a daily basis. 

It's how the pack manages to function.

The pack takes care of each other. 

The smell of searing meat is a delicious reminder that he hasn’t eaten since last night has Chanyeol subconsciously gravitating to the fire pit where it’s being cooked. The warmth trapped inside the cave is another reminder, one that makes Chanyeol’s stiff body feel heavy and drowsy with sleep. He hasn’t slept since the night before.

The members cooking are laughing softly, doing their best to cook breakfast and to not wake their pups this early. Chanyeol would love nothing more than to help them out by watching the pups despite how exhausted he is. 

Chanyeol loves spending time with his pack; he’s close to them all, even the few members that he doesn’t particularly get along with; he is still kind to them. 

He would protect them all with his life if he had to.

Chanyeol stops in his tracks and his fond smile slowly fades as he remembers his task. Quickly, Chanyeol turns and walks toward his and Baekhyun’s hut. Their hut is small and located towards the back of the Hallow where an underwater stream flows slow and steady. 

Entering their hut, Chanyeol is greeted by Jennie, Yixing’s apprentice, sitting on his bed where she is crocheting small sacks. Jennie looks up and stands, bowing her head, “he’s doing well…” she assures as if reading his mind.

Chanyeol looks to Baekhyun slumped in his cot with his bandaged leg sticking out from under the fur pelt. His heart drops seeing Baekhyun bandaged up. A wave of guilt sitting heavy in his chest. It doesn’t make it any better with the message he has to deliver to him. That is if he’ll even be conscious. 

“Has he been up at all?” Chanyeol asks, not looking at her.

“Yes, he only just fell back to sleep. He ate and drank some while I changed his bandages. He’s doing a lot better,” she informs.

Chanyeol hums, stepping closer to Baekhyun’s cot. “Is it okay to wake him?” 

“Yes, though, he might be a little irritable,” the little laugh she huffs eases Chanyeol, “he wasn’t very happy that I woke him up.”

“That’s just how Baek is all the time,” Chanyeol chuckles, genuinely smiling for what feels like the first in a while. “Will you leave us?” Chanyeol smiles kindly at Jennie.

“Yes, of course. I’ll be right outside if you need anything.”

“Thank you.”

As Jennie leaves, Chanyeol watches Baekhyun’s chest rise and fall steadily. Part of him hates to wake Baekhyun up, but he’s more than sure if he doesn’t tell Baekhyun what’s going on then a very angry Baekhyun will show up at the Yew just to yell at him. He really can’t risk that happening. Gingerly, Chanyeol sits next to Baekhyun on his cot, the wood creaking under the added weight. He leans in, mindful of Baekhyun’s wounds, and nudges his brother’s shoulder with his nose to wake him just like he always has.

“Brother...wake up,” Chanyeol whispers, nudging him again and this time he gets a groan out of the other. “I need to talk to you. It’s urgent.”

Another few nudges do the trick as Baekhyun finally - and very carefully - turns on his back to look at Chanyeol, blinking the sleep from his eyes. 

“Don’t you know I’m recovering from a near deaf experience” Baekhyun’s voice is groggy, but Chanyeol can still hear the playfulness in his tone.

Chanyeol gazes down at the bandage wrapped around Baekhyun’s waist. There’s a small blood spot forming on the new cloth. 

As if noticing Chanyeol’s sorrow, Baekhyun places a hand on Chanyeol’s knee and squeezes. “Hey, I’ve had worse!”

Silently, Chanyeol’s attention drifts to Baekhyun’s arm where the lingering scars slither up from his forearm to bicep. It was a long time ago now when he was attacked by Luhan. To protect himself, Baekhyun covered his face, and Luhan shredded the skin off his arm. 

Chanyeol remembers how the skin hung off the bone and how Yixing did the best he could to repair the appendage to how it once was, but there’s still lumps of skin tugging to cover up bone and muscles along his arm creating an unnatural look. 

Baekhyun’s arm is in perfect condition usage wise, but it’s still a grim reminder for them both from the beginning of Luhan’s descent into a lunatic. Just thinking back on that makes Chanyeol’s gut twist. He almost lost Baekhyun that day, and almost lost him yesterday. Under his own command. 

Chanyeol fists his hand tightly. He has to say it  _ now _ . He has to say it before he backs out and loses Kai. 

Swallowing down his fear, Chanyeol finally says, “listen, that boy that took aim at you…”

Baekhyun squints. “Don’t you mean the  _ Hunter  _ who shot me?” Baekhyun sits up a little more, holding his waist as he adjusts himself.

Chanyeol doesn’t answer with words, he merely nods and looks away from his brother. He feels a hand rest on his forearm. 

“What is it, Yeollie?” Ah, the nickname. Baekhyun just has to make it harder. 

Chanyeol nervously scratches the back of his neck, still not looking at Baekhyun. 

“Did he hurt you?” Baekhyun questions suddenly. “Did he hurt someone else? Tell me he didn’t kill--”

“No!” Chanyeol says quickly. “No, Baek, listen. He, well...I...I brought him back here,” he blurts out. Chanyeol glances at Baekhyun just in time to see his brother’s eyes go wide in alarm and retract his arm, appalled.

“You  _ what _ ?” Baekhyun hisses, frantically looking around their hut.

“No, no!” Chanyeol says, shifting to face Baekhyun. He can see Baekhyun’s breath quicken, “calm down, brother, he's not literally  _ here _ . He’s in the Healing Hut, but he’s…” Chanyeol nibbles on his bottom lip and looks down at the ground.

Baekhyun’s wide, hazel eyes narrow at Chanyeol. “Out with it, Chanyeol. What the fuck is going on?”

“Well, he’s not just a Hunter, he’s also... a werewolf, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol follows up quickly with, “and because I brought him here, it’s my duty to watch him and to tame—”

“No,” Baekhyun cuts him off, shaking his head. “No, Chanyeol. You’re not serious. You  _ can’t _ .”

Chanyeol turns to face him but immediately regrets it as he sees how Baekhyun’s eyes are glossing over. “I  _ have  _ to. I’ve already spoken to Head Alpha about it. Listen, Baek, I really think—”

“You can’t, Chanyeol. It’s dangerous.  _ It’s  _ dangerous. D-Do you  _ not  _ remember Luhan going berserk?!”

“Of course I do!”

“Then what the fuck are you doing!?”

“I have to save him! I can tame him. Please, listen to me-”

“ _ No _ , you listen to me,” Baekhyun yells, silencing Chanyeol. Baekhyun never raises his voice. Especially not to him. “That monster did this to me! Look at me! He nearly killed me, does that mean nothing to you?”

“ _ You don’t think I know that? _ ” Chanyeol grits out. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about!”

“Then why is he here!”

Chanyeol watches Baekhyun swallow hard and notices how his chest is rising and falling in anger.

“It wasn’t my choice Baekhyun! I had to save him. I couldn’t just let him die!”

“What do you mean it wasn’t your  _ choice _ ? Are you mad? Who told you to save a  _ Hunter _ !” Baekhyun growls, “he’s not just a human, he’s a  _ Hunter _ . I’m sure he’s trained his whole damn life just to kill us! What about our parents, Chanyeol? Did you forget how they were murdered?”

The hut is dead silence as Chanyeol stares at the ground. Of course, Baekhyun would bring their parents up. Chanyeol should have seen it coming. They lost them when he was so young, but it doesn’t change the fact that they were murdered by the very same thing Chanyeol is trying to save. Baekhyun is a few years older than Chanyeol is. Baekhyun remembers more; he’s been hurt worse than Chanyeol has because Chanyeol has the advantage of not remembering his parents as Baekhyun does. 

“I didn’t forget,” Chanyeol says.

“Oh, so you do remember that a Hunter murdered our parents, tried to murder me, and yet you brought him to our home? And not only that but apparently he’s a fucking werewolf too?”

Clenching his fists and stands, turning away from Baekhyun.  _ How many times must he go through this? _ It’s the same argument - the same one he’s had with Rosé, Yixing, Minseok, and now Baekhyun. How is he supposed to make others understand! He knows what Kai is! He knows the idiocy of this and the dangers he brought to their pack, but why is no one listening to him?

“I couldn’t just leave him out there, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol says low, tired, “his Máni was calling out to me. I couldn’t just ignore it. It needed my help -  _ still  _ needs my help. You don’t understand.”

“You’re right. I don’t understand,” Baekhyun snaps. Chanyeol can hear the waver in his voice. “I’ve never understood that stupid, big heart of yours, and I probably never will.” The hardlines on Baekhyun’s face ease. “I don’t want you to do this, but you’re as stubborn as you are benevolent so there’s no point in telling you to stop.”

Chanyeol turns around to see the wistful expression on Baekhyun’s face. He smiles small as he wanders back over to Baekhyun to sit on the edge of the cot once more where Baekhyun begrudgingly makes room for him. He’d love nothing more than to have Baekhyun pull him in and let him snuggle up to him for hours. As a pup, he would cuddle up to Baekhyun, usually during storms or when scary stories were being told around the fire. Or when he couldn’t sleep at night, he could crawl into Baekhyun’s cot and find peace there. 

With Baekhyun, Chanyeol’s always felt safe; even now it’s his favorite place to be. Instead of cuddling his brother, however, Chanyeol takes one of Baekhyun’s small hands into his own, engulfing it.

“I wouldn’t do this just for any reason, brother. I truly did intend on killing him for what he did to you - for what he  _ almost  _ did to you, and I’ll never forgive or forget what Hunters have done to our parents, but when I approached him it was as if I was being lulled into him. It’s stupid, I know, but, I’m drawn to him. I felt his Máni which... has never happened to me before, but the moon - I think she wanted me to save him and now  _ I _ want to save him.”

Baekhyun sighs, letting his shoulder hang. “I was afraid you would say that.”

“Forgive me, my brother,” Chanyeol hangs his head low, still holding Baekhyun’s hand. He rubs his thumbs with the back of his hand as the silence between them remains heavy. He waits a couple of moments before he gets up and walks to his own cot to collect a few things he thinks he’ll need, pillows, blankets, books, his wood carvings to keep him occupied while in the Old Yew. He stuffs everything into a sack, and then rolls his cot up, tying the strings together so he can carry it. 

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything else to him. Chanyeol does hear him shuffling on his cot, probably readjusting to go back to sleep. 

When Chanyeol’s all packed, he turns to look at Baekhyun who is, in fact, bundled up under the fur pelts.

Walking over, Chanyeol kneels in front of Baekhyun’s cot. Luckily, Baekhyun is facing him. He’d hate to leave without seeing Baekhyun’s face. 

“Keep the place clean,” Chanyeol teases softly and leans in to nuzzle his nose in Baekhyun’s hair, placing a small kiss on the head. “I hope you rest and heal soon, brother.”

Unexpectedly, Baekhyun reaches out and pulls Chanyeol into a hug. 

Immediately, Chanyeol relaxes in his hold and falls forward some, letting his bag drop to the floor and basking in any and all the affection Baekhyun will give him. His brother’s embrace is warm and calming and just what Chanyeol needs besides a goodnight’s sleep. 

Chanyeol inhales Baekhyun’s scent before he finally let's go.

“I won’t forgive you,” Baekhyun says, “but, please be safe.” 

Chanyeol combs his hand through Baekhyun’s hair and places a kiss on his forehead. “I will,” he promises. With a few more parting words, Chanyeol leaves to head back to the Healing Hut - saying goodbye to Jennie on his way out. 

Mentally, he goes over if he grabbed everything he needed from his hut because he’s unsure when he’ll be able to return. The chances of him to freely come and go from the Yew to the Hallow are slim to none. 

While lost in thought, Chanyeol thinks back to the times when he was young and how he, Yifan, and Zitao would try to sneak into the Old Yew to visit with Luhan. He smiles fondly remembering how Luhan would sniff them out before they could make it through the back window or sneak in the door. Luhan was always so kind to them. He’d indulge them in their little games, and sometimes he would even have a treat waiting for them. Whether it was a wood carving of an animal or a sweet given to them, it was always a lovely surprise. Though Chanyeol loved the wood carvings the most, and it’s the reason why he does it as a hobby himself.

The more Chanyeol recalls the time he spent with Luhan the less good times there seem to be. The dark days came and Minseok had posted a couple of Thegnar by the front door of the Yew and would deny anyone access, including Chanyeol. But, as Baekhyun says, he’s as stubborn as he is benevolent, and by the stars in the sky, he wasn’t going to let the guards stop him. 

Chanyeol was desperate to see Luhan. He has a wood carving to show him, one that he had made for him. So one night, Chanyeol had schemed up a plan he thought was so good and asked Baekhyun and Zitao to distract the guards so he could sneak in. It had worked, the two put on a chase through the woods long enough for Chanyeol to burst through the unguarded door.

But unfortunately, he had walked into a nightmare.

Chanyeol will never forget the sight he saw in the middle of the room.

Long limbs bulging unnaturally. 

A bloody snout, bearing elongated, yellow canines.

A rigged back with bristly hairs running up the spine.

Chanyeol stood in horror as Luhan started shifting. He had never seen anything like it, up until he found Kai. He remembers Luhan’s doe-like eyes going wide with crazed and glow a fierce blue as his gaze pierced Chanyeol’s spirit. 

What he remembers next is the door swinging open, narrowly missing him, and Minseok rushing past him and immediately shifting and attacking Luhan. Chanyeol was immediately dragged out the door, but his eyes stayed glued to the two beasts scuffling, growling, and snarling in the way that nightmares come to life. 

Chanyeol doesn’t remember who dragged him out, but he does remember seeing Yixing run past him and the door slamming shut after him.

It was the night Luhan went fully berserk.

Chanyeol still hears the horrendous sounds echoing from the Yew. 

Luhan ended up escaping out of the Yew, bursting the door down and running, and sadly, it was Chanyeol and Baekhyun in his way. Luhan managed to grab Baekhyun by the arm and drag him some feet while Chanyeol cried, shrieked, yelled for Luhan to stop, but he didn’t. If it weren’t for Minseok then Baekhyun would have been killed.

Too lost in his thoughts, Chanyeol doesn’t notice that he walks right past Rosé until she’s calling out for him. Slowing to a stop, Chanyeol looks over his shoulder as Rosé strides up to him looking not too happy. 

He can only imagine why.

“Are you satisfied?” Rosé asks, planting her feet firmly in front of Chanyeol and crossing her arms as she glares up at him.

Blinking slowly, Chanyeolt tries to process what she’s even talking about until it registers. It’s about Minseok’s decision - more specifically - it’s about Kai.

"Satisfied about what?” Chanyeol drawls and turns to walk away.

“You know  _ what _ ,” Rosé sneers, walking faster and stopping in front of him, “Head Alpha’s decision. It’s just what you wanted!”

Chanyeol almost walks into her. He stares down at her for a moment, embittered. “Yes, it is,” he confirms, closing his eyes and exhaling a slow breath, “but it’s not like I chose this.”

Rosé scoffs, “isn’t it though?”

“No, it’s not. Whatever you believe, it’s wrong. I didn’t ask for this, Rosé.”

“Of course you chose this! You could have left him, Chanyeol. You could have just left it alone or-or you could have killed him, but no. Once again, you’re making stupid decisions.”

Chanyeol clenches his fists at his sides, his belongings now sitting next to him. His nostrils flare in agitation that sits prettily on top of his guilt and exhaustion. He should just leave. He knows she won’t understand, she’s adamant on her stance and there’s no use in arguing, but what she said keeps repeating in his ear.  _ Once again, you’re making stupid decisions.  _

“What do you mean?” Chanyeol grits out.

“Are you kidding?” Rosé derides, smiling mirthlessly as she shakes her head. “You always make stupid decisions. Like how you almost caused Zitao to drown when we were pups, you brought Baekhyun to see Luhan when you know that was off-limits, you’ve led us right into a rogue Lycan’s cavern who attacked us and I almost lost my sister. Oh and how about we talk about you almost getting Yifan caught by Hunters a couple of years ago or actually let’s talk about last night when you almost got Baekhyun killed,  _ again _ .”

Chanyeol’s mouth hangs open. Subconsciously he had taken a step back from Rosé as she moved closer. All the things she’s said to have been true.  _ They were all accidents  _ he wants to argue, but even so, he was still responsible for all involved. 

Truthfully, Chanyeol never wanted to be in charge of anyone or anything. Minseok only appointed him Skeppare because he was as close to his son as he could get - or that’s what Chanyeol believes. 

“You’re so irresponsible, Chanyeol, and always getting your way. You get away with whatever you do because Minseok favors you, and now you’re doing something as stupid as this.”

Setting his jaw, Chanyeol picks up his belongings and says, “it’s not like that this time, it really wasn’t my choice. This isn’t going to be easy for me, Rosé.”

“Don’t act like this is a burden to you. You  _ wanted  _ this.”

“I  _ never  _ wanted this,” Chanyeol growls, stepping up to her and glaring down with narrow yellow eyes. “I never asked for this. Despite what you think, I  _ never  _ asked for my village to be attacked. I never asked to be taken in by Minseok. I  _ never  _ asked to be Skeppare and sure as hell  _ never  _ wanted to put anyone I love in danger. I love you and this pack more than you’ll ever know, but if all you see in me are my faults then that’s your burden to carry.”

Rosé doesn’t say anything right away. She keeps her jaw tight as she stares up at him.

“I have to go, Rosé,” Chanyeol grits out and turns away.

“He could kill you,” he hears Rosé say quietly.

“What?” Chanyeol turns once more, looking at her incredulously. 

“I said he could kill you.” 

Somehow, Rosé looks less angry, less on guard. The hard lines on her face have smoothed and somehow she looks younger; looks like she did years ago.

“It won’t happen-”

“You always say that but  _ you _ don’t know that. You have no idea of knowing what he’ll be capable of.”

“Well, I guess I’ll have to cross that river when I get to it.”

“Are you always going to be so selfish?”

“I need to go,” Chanyeol says abruptly. He’s already wasted too much time. “I have bad decisions to make.”

“Fine, go.”

  
  
  


➶ ———— ➶

  
  


“I thought you changed your mind and weren’t going to come back.”

“I had to tell Baekhyun everything…”

Yixing hums acknowledgment. 

Chanyeol watches as the Healer moves about the hut, eyeing him as he pulls open cabinets and cases, gathering small jars covered in dust and dirt from off the floor. He stashes all the bottles into a small, brown sack except for the last two vials he pulls from a wooden case.

“How’d he handle it?” Zitao asks, grabbing Chanyeol’s attention.

The two brothers are sitting on the cot farthest from the entrance to the hut. They almost don’t fit on it at all.

“He...took it better than I expected,” Chanyeol admits softly.

“So he’s okay with you doing this?” Yifan asks.

Huffing a small laugh, Chanyeol shakes his head and looks to the ground. “I didn’t say that. He said he didn’t understand and wouldn’t forgive me, but gave me his blessing? I guess?”

“You boys can talk about this later,” Yixing interjects. “I need to explain something to Chanyeol and then you need to get the boy out of here.” 

Yixing walks up to Chanyeol, making Chanyeol stiffen under his serious gaze. His usual droopy eyes are sharp and precise. It honestly makes Chanyeol feel like cowering.

With a heavy sigh, Yixing opens the small wooden box sitting in his hands. “This is  _ Monkshood _ ,” he says, grabbing a small vial with a green liquid inside out of the box. “What you need to know about it is that it’s an incredibly lethal plant in its raw form. It can kill even the largest of beasts. Bears, Elk, Bison, whatever else.” Yixing shakes the small vial. “Honestly, this amount here could kill a third of the Northern pack, or kill an entire pack as small as ours.”

Chanyeol’s eyes go wide and he looks from the small glass bottle and up to meet Yixing’s gray eyes. “W-Why are you telling me this, Healer?”

Yixing holds a hand up, motioning for Chanyeol to stop talking. “Just listen. Monkshood has been around for centuries, and has been used by hunters of all kinds and used as a common method of execution for Lycans since it was able to be reproduced easily. All Hunters have to do is lace an arrowhead or blade or even now, a bullet, with the smallest amount of Monkshood and it’ll bring even the toughest Lycan down.” 

Yixing downcasts his eyes, looking at the small vial with floating bits of the plant inside. 

Chanyeol’s gaze follows. Inside the vial is a dulled green liquid quietly splashing against the glass. It reminds Chanyeol of a dead valley.

“I learned of Monkshood from Luhan,” Yixing adds, “for years I could never figure out what was poisoning our kind until Luhan showed me. He said his family would use it. According to Luhan, humans believed it to repel werewolves because of its toxins however directly poisoning ‘werewolves’ with it wasn’t common until the late seventeenth century. I spent time studying it, and Luhan had even helped me develop it with the notes he had.”

Yixing goes quiet for a moment. Chanyeol can hear his breath shudder past his lips. “Come to find out he had all this information with him - in the books he carried.”

Chanyeol blinks slowly. “Healer, what…”

“But this,” Yixing says quickly, putting the Monkshood back in the case and taking out the other vial. The contents inside this vial are clear, like water. “This is purified Monkshood. I call it ‘Månbarn’. It’s a sedative that will sedate whoever takes it, but be warned, if too much is taken at once then it can be lethal.”

Chanyeol opens his mouth to speak but Yixing holds a finger up, stopping him. “Unfortunately, I developed it only after what happened to Luhan. During the worst of Luhan’s time, when we knew he didn’t have long, I was attempting to create a  _ cure _ for him. I had thought to myself that, surely if the toxins in Monkshood could kill then it could heal as well. Everything has its yin and yang, right? At the time it didn’t seem like a stretch but it proved to be incredibly difficult and time-consuming. Eventually, I was able to rid the plant of its deadly toxins, however, by that time, Luhan had gone berserk before I could even try to treat him properly.”

The room is quiet with all eyes on Yixing. It’s easy to sense Yixing’s pain, the guilt he must have felt unable to save a friend. Chanyeol glances down at the vials before he flickers his tired gaze back to Yixing. 

“So it’s a sedative? Forgive me for questioning you, but how do you know it wouldn’t kill him instead?” Chanyeol looks back down at the bottle Yixing is fidgeting within his hand.

“Because,” Yixing says, “I tried it on myself to make sure, and to my pleasure, it gave me the results I had been looking for.”

Chanyeol looks over at the two brothers sitting on the cot, both sharing the same wide-eyed expression that Chanyeol has, too. Zitao shrugs and Chanyeol looks back to Yixing.

“D-Did it do anything to you?” Chanyeol stutters out.

With a content hum, Yixing hums. “Yes. It sedated me. That’s what it does, allows calmness to settle in whoever takes it. And, I wanted to create it because I thought that if the beast inside Luhan was sedated then maybe he would have better control over it and we would have more time to create a cure together.”

“But what good is sedating Kai?” Chanyeol asks, “I mean, I can’t possibly drug him forever.” Chanyeol takes the small bottle from Yixing to hold it, inspecting the liquid inside. There are little bits of florals floating inside.

“If he’s sedated, then he’ll be easier to control,” Yixing explains, “and you don’t have to sedate him all the time. That wouldn’t be healthy for him, but only when he gets too far from your grasp. But be warned, I haven’t tested the long term effects yet…”

Chanyeol stares blankly at Yixing. He has so many questions but he’s not even sure if he’d understand the answers if he were to get an explanation. At least not right now.

“The reason I’m telling you this, Chanyeol,” Yixing says, grabbing Chanyeol’s attention again, “is so that this can hopefully help aid you in your taming of the boy. I’m sure Head Alpha explained it all to you, however, keep in mind, taming in its truest form, comes from trust. You don’t need the beast inside him to trust you, but you need  _ the boy  _ to trust you because ultimately, it will be the boy’s Hygge - his will - that overpowers his Máni.”

“Wouldn’t I need the Máni to trust me more?” Chanyeol hands the vial back to Yixing.

“Not necessarily. The Máni wants to take over the boy - wants to control him and his body. Truth be told, Chanyeol, Minseok would ever acknowledge it, but Luhan didn’t trust Minseok, and in the same breath, Minseok didn’t trust Luhan. As much as Minseok loved and cared for him, he deemed him untrustworthy and was careless to hide that fact. Luhan knew that Minseok would kill him if he had too. It’s hard to trust someone knowing that they would kill you without a second thought if the need presented itself.”

“Minseok...never told me that part,” Chanyeol says softly.

“And he probably never will. It was his biggest downfall to Luhan’s transition.” 

Chanyeol feels nervous, anxious. The irrational but urgent need to gain Kai’s trust right this moment makes his fingers twitch restlessly. But how is he going to earn Kai’s trust? Will Kai ever trust him? Will he ever be able to trust Kai, too?

“So, Chanyeol…” Yixing looks up at Chanyeol. “To reiterate: use the Månbarn to help  _ heal  _ the boy. Give it to him daily if possible but only in small doses. Your bite, your  _ alpha status _ , will only do so much to make the beast submit if the beast is too hostile. If you are unable to tame the boy, even with the aid of Månbarn, then you must give him the Monkshood. It will kill him within minutes after injection or ingestion. It’ll slow his heart rate until it finally stops.”

_ That’s why Yixing ran into the Yew that night. _

Chanyeol’s heart is beating rapidly against his chest. He’s sure everyone in the room can hear it. 

“But, that’s only if you feel that you are not making progress with him,” Yixing adds nonchalantly, holding the box out to Chanyeol for him to take. “With this, all I ask is to think of your pack and our safety. Your heart is bigger than your brain sometimes, Chanyeol, and as endearing and admirable as it can be, it can be just as deadly. You must make the right choice when and if it comes. Do you understand this?”

“Yes,” Chanyeol whispers and accepts the box from Yixing. Chanyeol stands there staring at the small wooden box engraved with intricate designs. Could Månbarn really help Kai recover? Could it really heal him? A small flame of hope swells inside of him before it’s put out by the thought of having to use the Monkshood on Kai instead. Chanyeol’s more than capable of killing Kai, he’s sure of it, but for some reason...the thought of using poison makes his stomach lurch. It seems cruel and unfair.

Chanyeol puts the box in one of his sacks, making sure it’s secured inside.

“Ready?” Zitao asks and Chanyeol nods.

Zitao ends up carrying Kai on his back while Yifan carries the sacks Jisoo packed and Chanyeol carries his own belongings. The walk isn’t far, but the snow is heavy and deep and the area outside the pack’s perimeter is overgrown with brush and dead trees and branches. It takes some effort, but the three of them manage to get Kai, along with the sacks and sacks of items, down into the Old Yew. 

Chanyeol unlocks the door, using his shoulder to pry the heavy wooden door open. With one more hard shove, the door lurches forward, creaking loudly from aged rust on the hinges. 

An immediate rush of stale air hits Chanyeol in the face. He grimaces as he looks around. 

It smells dank, like mildew, and the walls and forgotten furniture are covered in dust. There are cobwebs in every crook, corner, and crevasse, and several insects scurry along the loose wood floorboard once Chanyeol takes a step inside. The furniture - a cupboard and a cot that’s placed in the common area- are frumpy and gross, the windows are stained with dirt and grime. Around the Yew there are miscellaneous items like buckets and small crates and cases stacked to the sides.

It’s dated and dusty, gray, and cold. 

It’s gloomy and drab and Chanyeol wants to leave immediately. “Do you think Head Alpha will reconsider?” 

“Not a fat chance in the fires,” Zitao calls from behind them. “Now get inside. It’s cold and he’s heavier than he looks.”

Yifan nudges a reluctant Chanyeol further into the uninviting haven. The brothers follow right behind him.

“Oh my god, it  _ reeks  _ something fierce in here,” Zitao laughs, looking around with a wide, amused smile on his face. “I was going to offer to stay with you to keep you company but I don’t think I’ll even visit!”

Chanyeol turns to glare at him, “This isn’t a  _ joke _ , Zitao.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s a tragedy,” Zitao quips, stepping away while grinning when Chanyeol grabs for the collar of his fur pelt. Yifan steps in and gives Zitao a warning look before turning to Chanyeol.

“We have to go patrol the borders soon. We can’t stay long.”

Chanyeol gives Zitao one final glare before setting his belongings down along with a sack of meat Yixing gifted to him. He walks through the common area where an old cot and cupboard sit and past the cooking cove where the firepit is. The firepit is off to the side, in a corner, and where Chanyeol’s sure they’ll spend most of their time eating and staying warm. 

In the back of the Yew, there’s a bedroom. The only bedroom and it can hardly even be considered a room with how small it is.

Chanyeol will put Kai back there and set up his cot in the common area.

With Yifan and Zitao in his wake, Chanyeol carries the lantern ahead of them and makes his way into the back room. He holds up the light to look around inside. It’s just as dank as the rest of the Yew, if not worse. The cot is dingy, covered in layers of dust and mold just like the floors. There’s no light aside from the lantern Chanyeol brought along. Chanyeol can’t help noticing that it smells in here, too. Part of him feels bad leaving Kai in here, but there are no windows, no outlets other than the door so it’ll work best to keep Kai contained. Chanyeol will keep the door open at least while he cleans.

“Where do you want it?” Yifan asks bluntly.

Chanyeol looks behind him at Yifan. He juts out his bottom lip in a pout as he steps out of the room. “ _ Kai _ will stay here but hang on. The cot is nasty. I’m going to put the new one on.” 

Yixing had gifted Chanyeol with one of his older spare cots for Kai to use. It was a sweet gesture, but a reluctant one, too. 

“Well, make it quick. We have work to do.”

Chanyeol huffs and turns away, mumbling, “Sorry, I’ll try to set up my vacation stay a little quicker.”

Quickly, Chanyeol pulls the dingy cot off the bed, and when it hits the floor a flourish of dust whaffs right in his face making him cough. He fans away the dust and begins to untie the spare cot, tossing it on the wood frame. He hurriedly pats it down and throws a wool blanket on top.

“Okay, bring him in!” Chanyeol calls and steps to the side so Zitao can bring Kai into the room. Carefully, Zitao sits on the edge of the cot, and Chanyeol and Yifan peels Kai off him, keeping him steady so Zitao can get up. 

They lay him down and Chanyeol notices that Kai’s face scrunches when they set him down. Chanyeol holds his breath and only lets it out when Kai relaxes once more. As Kai lays peacefully on the cot, Chanyeol rushes to the common area and comes back to the bedside, squishing past the other two alphas, and unravels his heaviest and most favorite pelt blanket from one of the larger sacks. He lays it over Kai.

Carefully, Chanyeol tucks Kai in and sits there for a moment, gazing at him. It’s not very bright in the room but Chanyeol can still make out the softness of his features. He looks so peaceful, even with the bandages on his face he still looks ethereal. Chanyeol reaches his hand out to place the back of his palm to Kai’s forehead. His forehead feels warm, a little hotter than what Chanyeol would consider normal. He brushes a few strands of hair off his forehead, forgetting that his two friends are still in the room watching him. 

“ _ Chanyeol _ ,” Yifan calls, voice gruff in a warning. 

Startled, Chanyeol quickly retracts his hand as if he’d been burned. He frowns, still looking at Kai. The urge to put his hand back on Kai’s forehead is strong; the feeling to share his own warmth to counter Kai’s negative warmth makes his fingers twitch as his side. Right now, there’s a need inside Chanyeol - a need to see Kai’s recovery, a need to help Kai heal, to make sure he’s okay and that he’ll wake up. Silently, Chanyeol recites a prayer for him, it’s short and quick, but it’s all he can offer for now.

“I’ll go start a fire and clean up a little…” Chanyeol says more to himself than the other two. The two brothers leave the doorway and Chanyeol follows right behind them.

“I left the meat near the pit,” Yifan informs, crossing his arms over his chest. “Do you need help with anything else?”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Chanyeol smiles weakly as nerves begin to settle realizing his friends will part soon. He turns away from the brothers to look to the fire pit. Like everything else, it’s dusty with cobwebs and random debris. Thankfully though there’s some firewood stacked in the corner from the last time the Yew was occupied. It’s odd, Chanyeol thinks, seeing the Yew so unkempt because it’s so unlike Minseok. He always kept the Yew cleaned the best he could. It was warm and inviting, very different from how it is now.

Suddenly, a heavy hand plops on his shoulder, knocking Chanyeol from his thoughts. “You will be fine, brother,” Zitao confirms, offering a small smile. “You’re strong and resilient. Head Alpha wouldn’t have allowed this if he didn’t believe you could do it.”

Chanyeol looks over his shoulder and smiles at Zitao. He really wishes they could stay, but he knows that they can’t. Because of his absence, Yifan and Zitao have to pick up the slack with the patrolling of their territory and leading the hunt. Yifan is Chanyeol’s second in command and Chanyeol knows that the Thegnar will be in capable and trustworthy hands.

Yifan leaves first, parting ways so he can prepare for the patrol, and leaving Chanyeol and Zitao in the Yew.

“Shouldn’t you get going?” Chanyeol asks though he’s glad for the extra time with Zitao.

Zitao waves his hand dismissively, smirking as he does. “Please, Yifan can run the whole thing himself. I’ll let him have his moment ordering the other around.”

Chanyeol chuckles. “You know he’ll scorn you in front of the others.”

“When does he not?”

Chanyeol’s smile tightens. 

“You’re going to be okay,” Zitao says suddenly. “I promise.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because,” Zitao says, stepping up to Chanyeol, standing eye level with him, “you’re strong and determined and some people might call that being stubborn, but I call it being passionate. Brother, you obviously have a rhyme and reason to be doing this, so do what you need to do, and do it well, and return to us because I don’t know how long I can handle Yifan being in charge for long.  _ I _ might go berserk.”

The two burst out in laughter and it’s truly the first time Chanyeol has genuinely laughed since all of this began.

Chanyeol shoves Zitao’s shoulder. “I’ll do my best…”

Zitao catches Chanyeol’s hand, holding it against his chest, “I know you will, brother,” he says, smiling fondly. 

Chanyeol barely has the sincerity to return the gentle gesture, but he tries though his smile appears tight and unsure. Zitao finally leaves but not after giving Chanyeol a hug and cursing as he steps out the door as Yifan calls for him to hurry.

With the brothers gone, it’s now strangely quiet now that Chanyeol’s alone.

Well, not quite alone.

After locking the door, Chanyeol looks over his shoulder and into the small, cold room. Chanyeol pushes off the door and goes to sit on the dusty cot that’s placed against the wall across from the bureau, keeping his eye on the backroom. Kai’s still out. He remembers what Yixing said about if Kai doesn’t wake up by tonight or tomorrow morning, then he’ll have to force him awake. That’s Yixing’s last resort though for he fears that it could trigger Kai’s Máni to spring forward into an uncontrollable rage, but if that’s the case…

Chanyeol glances at the small wooden box sitting on the bureau across from him.

_ “It will kill him instantly.” _

Chanyeol doesn’t know how long he sits there staring at the box, getting lost in scenarios that could happen as he waits for Kai to wake up, but then he thinks about what he would be doing right about now if none of this had ever happened. He’d be eating breakfast with Baekhyun and Zitao, getting rushed by Yifan and Rosé for doing too much talking and not enough eating. He’d be running exercise drills with the Thegnar before going on patrol, then come home in the evening to spend time with the pack.

His thoughts are all over the place and there's a daunting feeling swelling in the pit of his stomach that he can’t shake off. 

Since his talk with Yixing, Chanyeol’s confidence in himself that he’ll be able to tame Kai wavered, but now that he’s alone, he’s beginning to truly doubt himself. What if he can’t tame him? What if Kai wakes up in a fit of rage and goes berserk? Could he even stop him? He’s away from his pack and by the time help would come...it could be too late. 

Other disturbing thoughts cross his mind, too. What if Kai runs away? Should he go after him? Or what if Kai tries to off him in his sleep? He’s a Hunter, after all…

Exhaustion catches up to him as he starts to zone out, blinking slowly and letting his eyes stay closed longer each time. His head tilts to the side for just a moment before he’s startled awake by the sound of a branch breaking from a nearby tree and dropping to the ground with a loud crash. 

Chanyeol sits up and looks to the room where Kai is. It’s dimmed by the lantern Chanyeol left in there earlier, but he can still make out the boy’s sharp features. Without a second thought, Chanyeol gets up and walks over to close the door just enough so that he can still see the bed inside the room. He thinks about locking the door since it’s possible to lock it from the outside, but then he thinks about if Kai were to wake up, already confused and afraid, if being locked up would only make him angry so he doesn’t. 

As he stares through the crack of the door a chill runs up his spine; a reminder that he needs to get a fire going. Chanyeol gathers up some logs and stacks them in the firepit to get a small fire going. As he pokes at the kindling the flames flicker high. He stares into the bright red embers lost in thought; his mind won’t settle. Chanyeol taps his foot anxiously on the ground. He’s gone through all the possible scenarios of how things could play out between him and Kai over and over and by the time the fire is going strong and spreading warmth and light into the shack he’s not thought of a single scenario that doesn’t freak him out.

As the fire burns, Chanyeol busies himself and puts the meat away, placing it in the underground compartment where the meat can be stored in the summer, kept cool by the soil, and even colder in the winter so it won’t spoil. There are several large pieces of deer meat and another compartment filled with bear meat and some fish, too. It’ll last them a while. 

From there, Chanyeol decides to clean a little. If he’s going to be living here then he has to do something to make it less...disgusting. He dusts away cobwebs and cleans off shelves and furniture, which isn’t a lot, just a table with a couple of chairs, the cabinet, and a ragged cot. Chanyeol lays his own cot over the old one for extra cushioning. He finds a few spare blankets that he plans to use despite their musky scent since Kai has his.

It’s not much for cleaning, but it’s better than what it was. It doesn’t feel as stale.

Chanyeol sits with a blanket strewn over his lap by the fire with a piece of wood and lithic flake in hand. The only sounds in the shack are the crackling of the flames and the blunt click of the wood chipping away. It’s the only thing keeping him awake right now. Chanyeol carves out the body of a wolf, working on the snout, and just as he runs the blade across the top to smooth out the wood he hears a loud, painful gasp followed by a hard thud coming from the other room.

Chanyeol immediately sets the chipped carving to the side and hops off the bench and rushes to the back room but he doesn’t quite make it to the door when he sees Kai stumbling out of it. 

Chanyeol stops in his tracks as he stares wide-eyed at Kai and Kai stares back. 

Kai has a firm grip on the splintered door frame, nails digging effortlessly into the wood, crunching and cracking the fibers in his grasp. The veins in his arms are bulging and there’s a hard line between his brows. His mouth hangs open as he pants heavily. The pupils of Kai’s mismatched eyes are blown wide and unfocused.

_ Oh no _ , Chanyeol thinks, panic keeping him frozen in place.  _ This is it _ .

Part of him had felt that Kai would never wake up, that his body wasn’t able to handle the transformation mentally and put him in a forever state of somnolence, but now that he’s up Chanyeol’s unsure of what to do.

He’s rendered motionless.

Kai’s breathing increases as his grip on the door frame loosens. 

Chanyeol follows Kai’s movements, watching him slowly sink to the floor onto his hands and knees. Chanyeol takes a glance at the imprints Kai created on the door frame then scans over his body as his muscles flex abnormally under his skin. Between Kai’s labored breathing and erratic muscle twitching, Chanyeol thinks he’s trying to stay in control. 

Kai grunts, wincing and clenching his teeth as he balls his fists tightly; knuckles turning white from the force. 

Chanyeol continues to watch helplessly as Kai leans forward more and presses his forehead cruelly on the wooden floor, fisting his hands into his hair, grunting and whining as he does. The unnatural twitching of muscles lumps under the surface of his skin, moving rapidly across his back, up to his shoulders, and down his arms. Then, Chanyeol’s heart skips a beat as he sees Kai’s ears begin to shift; a small point forming at the tip. Kai’s whines become low and menacing and Chanyeol swears he’s about to lose control. 

Chanyeol steps back. His fight or flight senses coursing through his veins. He has to do something - has to make a choice. Chanyeol glances over his shoulder at the small wooden box and takes another step back, ready to grab the vial if needed, but then, Kai exhales a deep breath and his muscles relax and ears revert back to normal. His breathing is still labored but his muscles aren’t tense or moving oddly under his skin.

“Where…” Kai starts, his voice is hoarse and strained. He coughs several times, smacking his lips to gather any bit of moisture he can. He lifts his head off the floor and props himself up on his forearms allowing his head to hang heavy between his arms. “Where am I?”

_ He’s talking _ . Is the first thing Chanyeol thinks. He’s not heard Kai’s voice yet, not anything that wasn’t horrendous yowling and screams. Although hoarse, Kai’s voice is honeyed - deep but gentle. 

Chanyeol’s brought back to the now when he hears Kai choke, coughing a drop cough. 

“Y-You’re in the Old Yew,” Chanyeol stammers. Deep, deep down inside Chanyeol’s head he  _ knows  _ that means absolutely  _ nothing  _ to Kai, but he doesn’t know what else to really say.

“What the— oh  _ fuck _ ,” Kai suddenly cups his hands over his chest, right over his heart and slumps forward, landing awkwardly on his shoulder. “Everything hurts,” he grits out, “my  _ chest _ . My heart— it’s going to...it’s going to r-rupture or something. It  _ hurts _ . What’s happening?” 

_ Set boundaries. _

Chanyeol takes a step forward.

“My  _ heart _ ,” Kai’s voice cracks on a dry sob.

_ From the start, keep your distance. Make it clear who's in charge. _

Chanyeol hesitates. He’s  _ hurting _ . How can he not help him? 

Kai inhales sharply.

Chanyeol takes another step closer and then he feels a familiar warmth in his chest drawing him closer. It's the same warmth from last night when he found Kai.

_ It's his Mâni. _

Disregarding everything Minseok had told him, Chanyeol quickly bends down and grabs Kai, pulling him awkwardly into his embrace. Another’s embrace, another’s  _ warmth _ , can be healing so when he wraps his arms around Kai to cradle him and Kai doesn’t refuse, Chanyeol holds him tightly. Kai’s cheek is pressed firmly to Chanyeol’s chest, near his heart. Chanyeol’s chest suddenly aches; he can feel Kai's pain, how his body trembles uncontrollably, how his muscles are tense and convulsing, and how his breathing is uneven as he sobs.

Chanyeol can feel everything.

He can feel Kai's Máni desperately nudging on his own. 

Closing his eyes, Chanyeol focuses on Kai's Máni. It's dim, the white spirit engulfed in blue and drowning by the second. Chanyeol is helpless to do anything more than this; Kai needs to calm down and focus or he's going to  _ snap. _

Chanyeol cradles Kai in his arms, nuzzling his nose into Kai's bristled, damp hair and swallows him up in his arms. He focuses on their spirits, trying to use his own Máni to ease Kai's as best he can. 

“You have to calm down,” Chanyeol whispers harshly against his ear. It’s only now that Chanyeol’s noticed how he’s trembling, too, trying to hold them together. “Clear your mind, focus on the warmth inside you.” 

Chanyeol doesn’t know where this is coming from. He doesn’t know why he’s saying this with such conviction, but it seems to be doing something.

For what feels like an eternity, Chanyeol finally feels Kai's muscles begin to settle, no longer moving unnaturally, and Kai's breathing starts to level. It allows Chanyeol to relax, too.

They sit like this for several moments; Chanyeol holding Kai and Kai resting against his chest. It's calming and like nothing Chanyeol has ever experienced before. It relaxes him so much that his own breathing slows and his eyes become more content with staying closed.

Unfortunately, calmness doesn’t last.

As if Kai comes to his senses he roughly shoves Chanyeol away. Tearing himself from Chanyeol's hold, forcing Chanyeol to stumble back on his hind legs.

"G-Get off me you psycho!” Kai yells, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hand.

Taken aback, Chanyeol scoots away. The ridiculous feeling of rejection sits heavy in his heart. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Kai shouts, voice breaking from a dry throat.

"Y-You’re not in danger!” Chanyeol blurts, getting on his knees so he’s on Kai’s level. He’s trying to be as non-threatening as possible. The  _ exact opposite _ of Minseok’s wise words. “My name is Chanyeol, and I can explain everything—”

“These aren’t my clothes... Where are my clothes?“ Kai babbles, ignoring Chanyeol. “H-How did I get in these clothes?!” Kai’s eyes grow larger yet. “W-ait. Where’s my bow?  _ Where’s my bow _ ?! Where  _ am  _ I!?”

Chanyeol can’t keep up with the string of questions. Each time he goes to answer one question Kai moves onto another. “Kai, please wait a minute—”

Then Kai looks right at Chanyeol, incredulously. “What the  _ hell  _ did you just call me? Who the fuck is‘Kai’?”

The viciousness in Kai’s voice makes Chanyeol’s cheeks redden. “It’s you — you’re...Kai.”

Kai looks away from Chanyeol and down at his body before looking back at him. His sharp eyes burrow deep into Chanyeol’s chest. “N-No, I’m fucking  _ not _ . My name is  _ Jongin _ .”

“ _ Jongin _ ,” Chanyeol repeats softly, tasting it on his tongue for just a moment. 

“Tell me what’s going on!”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “I, well…” Chanyeol clears his throat feeling incredibly bashful now. “I gave you that name because I didn’t know your name, so I gave you that one. I didn’t like everyone calling you ‘it’...” 

The way Kai— _ Jongin _ stares at him with such ferocity as if every word out of Chanyeol’s mouth is pissing him off by the second hurts more than it should and makes Chanyeol feel beyond foolish for his honest admission. 

“Uhm, do you...remember anything from the other night?” Chanyeol asks, changing the subject.

Jongin takes a moment to think it over. Does he remember anything? Yes. Yes! He does! He remembers his brother, Junmyeon, and uncle. He remembers his bow and Kyungsoo.

_ Kyungsoo _ . “Where’s Kyungsoo?!”

Chanyeol blinks, “I’m sorry, I... don’t know who that is…”

“H-He’s my best friend,” Jongin explains, his eyes frantically scanning the ground as if searching for something. “I was with him. We were hunting and we were...we were hunting and then he was  _ attacked  _ by this giant  _ beast _ !”

Jongin glances around his surroundings. 

Chanyeol notices how Jongin’s eyes begin to glow a soft blue. He needs to calm Jongin down  _ now.  _ Even if there’s a slight chance that Jongin loses focus and shifts, Chanyeol needs to put a stop to it.

_ Show him who's the alpha. _

“Listen to me Jongin—”

“No, fuck you,” Jongin spits, making Chanyeol flinch, “tell me what the fuck is going on!”

_ You can't afford to be nice, Chanyeol. You need to assert your status or he'll walk right over you. _

Chanyeol frowns. “I-I will. I swear I will, but you need to calm down first. Why don’t you come join me by the fire where it’s warm?”

Jongin sneers and stands quickly, stumbling as he rises but steadies himself on the doorframe.

_ The beast inside him will know if your spirit is unsteady. It'll see it as a weakness and try to correct your unbalanced behavior. _

The wild look in Jongin’s eyes is unsettling. Chanyeol stands, too, holding a hand out in front of him as he looks behind him to the box. It’s not quite within reach but if he could manage a couple of careful steps then he’ll be able to grab it.

When Chanyeol turns back around he sees Jongin’s gaze flicker over his shoulders, gazing wildly at something, and immediately it clicks and Chanyeol knows  _ exactly  _ what he’s looking at.

_ The door _ . 

His assumption is cemented in the next moment when Jongin dashes right past him for the door, albeit unsteadily. 

But Jongin doesn’t get far. He loses his footing on the uneven flooring allowing Chanyeol to grab his forearm to stop him. Chanyeol latches onto Jongin’s arm, but he’s not expecting Jongin to be as strong as he is, especially in his treacherous state, so when Jongin forces Chanyeol’s grip off him and uses enough strength to shove Chanyeol off him and make him stumble back.

“ _ Jongin _ !” Chanyeol snarls, quickly regaining his balance. The Yew isn’t large by any means, and Jongin would have been out the door already if he wasn't so disoriented so within a couple of large steps Chanyeol reaches out and grabs Jongin by his shirt and yanks him back. 

Jongin easily slides out of the loose shirt and out of Chanyeol’s hold once more as he scrambles for the door again. He makes it to the steps with his hand on the latch ready to tug the door open but Chanyeol finally grabs him from around the waist, wrapping his arms around him, lifts, and pulls him back. 

“Let go!” Jongin yelps, thrashing in Chanyeol’s hold, desperately trying to escape. 

“Quit struggling,” Chanyeol grits out. “ _ Please _ , Jongin,  _ stop—Shit! _ ” Chanyeol’s head goes back as he takes a couple of hits to the face from Jongin’s elbows. Then Jongin’s elbow makes contact with Chanyeol’s nose and he can feel the warm blood trickle down over his lips. The pain is immediate but Chanyeol keeps his grip on Jongin, refusing to let go even as he stumbles back against the wall, tripping over supplies as he does. His back hits a knot in the wall, making him cry out just as Jongin elbows the side of his head. The hit forces Chanyeol’s grip to loosen, and with a growl, Jongin manages to twist around in Chanyeol’s arms so that he’s face to face with him. 

Jongin frees one of his hands from his side and latches it over Chanyeol’s mouth, using his growing and sharpening nails to dig into the skin of Chanyeol’s cheeks. 

Chanyeol hisses in pain and shoves Jongin away from him with full force.

Jongin flounders back, tripping over a loose plank of wood and falls against the window. His elbow cracks the glass from corner to corner. 

Chanyeol cups his hand over his mouth, his eyes wide when he pulls it away there’s blood on his palm. How did this even turn into a fight all of the sudden? Jongin doesn’t need to act like this! He’s only trying to help him. Chanyeol’s too fucking tired for this. Sneering, Chanyeol glares viciously at Jongin, nostrils flaring as fire courses through his veins. This is getting out of control and it needs to end  _ now _ . Chanyeol’s the alpha here,  _ not  _ Jongin.

Jongin pushes off the windowsill and charges forward. Chanyeol sets all thought and presumption of Jongin being weak and fragile to the side and takes him as an actual opponent challenging him. So when Jongin goes for his throat, Chanyeol takes hold of Jongin’s wrist and twists sharply, driving Jongin’s arm behind his back, pushing upward. Jongin cries out, mostly human but Chanyeol can hear the ferocity of the beast inside him emerging. 

Holding him close, Chanyeol keeps his steadfast grip on Jongin’s arm and grabs Jongin’s other arm to bring it behind his back alongside the other. With Jongin’s back facing Chanyeol, Chanyeol opens his mouth to clamp down on Jongin’s shoulder but as he does Jongin leans forward and thrashes, moving to kick Chanyeol in an attempt to free himself. Chanyeol follows Jongin through his movements, leaning forward as he does and pulls back first to get control over Jongin again, but what Chanyeol doesn’t anticipate is for Jongin to jump high on his toes and slam his head back and bash Chanyeol right in the nose with all his force. 

Immediately Chanyeol let’s go of Jongin, shoving him directly and roughly to the ground as he grabs his face, doubling over as warm blood spills from his face. The pain is  _ immense _ ; more than the first bust to his nose and tears prickle in the corners of his eyes. He feels like he’s been pummeled with a rock and not the back of Jongin’s head. 

Chanyeol looks up through bleary eyes when he hears the creaking door open. “Shit, shit,  _ shit _ !” he curses as Jongin sprints out the door. With a hiss, Chanyeol wipes the blood off his hand and onto his pants. With his face throbbing and blood still coming from his nose, Chanyeol gets to his feet and darts after him. 

Jongin’s fast, but Chanyeol’s faster. 

Chanyeol sprints outside, getting closer to Jongin with every stride, but he needs to move faster. Jongin could run deep into the woods and could run into Ulfheonar. Chanyeol absolutely does  _ not  _ want that to happen. It’s fair territory and Yifan would show  _ no  _ mercy. 

So without skipping a step, Chanyeol begins to shift. His hind legs change first, morphing into wolf-like hind legs then his upper body follows. It takes mere seconds for Chanyeol to shift into his Lycan body: a large wolf with a thick dark brown coat and bright yellow eyes. He’s one of the larger Lycans of the pack, along with Yifan and Zitao, so he easily towers over most. 

Effortlessly, Chanyeol catches up to Jongin and passes him, skidding to a stop right in front of him. He faces Jongin, snarling. 

Jongin abruptly stops dead in his tracks and falls to the cold, snow-covered ground, scrambling backward in fear as Chanyeol stalks closer to him. 

“W-Werewolf,” Jongin sputters. “No, no,  _ no _ ! Get away!”

Instincts tell Chanyeol to attack - to immobilize his enemy, but he ignores his inner wolf because Jongin  _ isn’t  _ the enemy, the beast  _ inside  _ is. Chanyeol gets close enough and swiftly takes Jongin’s leg into his mouth. Not hard enough to break the skin but strong enough to keep Jongin from tugging free - at least not without some damage to his limb. 

The whole time Chanyeol drags Jongin back to the Yew Jongin thrashes in his hold. When he realizes there’s no chance at pulling himself free he desperately begins to scratch and hit and punch Chanyeol in his face, but when Chanyeol’s in his Lycan form the pain is dulled and it feels like nothing more than a pup learning how to fight. 

“Let me go, let me go, let me go, please! Let. Me. Go!” Jongin pleads, twisting and scratching at the ground when his attacks on Chanyeol prove useless. It’s a sad sight to see, Chanyeol thinks, but it’s for Jongin’s own good. 

For everyone’s good.

When they get back to the Yew, Chanyeol drags Jongin inside before shifting back. He quickly gets up to lock the door before Jongin has a chance to leave again. For assurance, Chanyeol grabs the old thick lantern mast left in the Yew  _ years  _ ago and wedges the piece into the space of the doorframe, shoving it as tightly as he can so the door is next to impossible for a human to pry open. Yes, he’s aware of Jongin's inhuman strength, but next time he’ll have to get through Chanyeol first and  _ then  _ deal with the door.

Chanyeol turns and leans against the door. He rumbles a growl from deep, deep in his chest as he watches Jongin rise to his knees. The adrenaline coursing through Chanyeol’s veins keeps him on edge, on the verge of attacking Jongin for merely breathing. Jongin won’t listen to him and broke his damn nose and now Chanyeol’s  _ pissed _ . 

With a burning rage inside him, Chanyeol stalks forward and grabs Jongin by the throat and lifts him with one hand, forcing Jongin up on his toes. 

Jongin’s breathing is erratic. His nose is red, lips dark and tinted blue, and his eyes are still wild. He wraps his cold hands around Chanyeol’s wrist to try and pry him off but Chanyeol’s done fucking around. 

_ “His inner wolf won’t want to submit so easily, but keep in mind that he’s also human, and humans are vulnerable to authority especially in strange situations.” _

Chanyeol pulls Jongin in close and, for a moment, he sees Jongin cower; can see the fear flash in his wide eyes. The yellow of Chanyeol’s eyes reflect in Jongin’s odd ones, but there’s a different glint that shines in his blue eye - something worried, frightened. It’s only for a second until Jongin’s growling just as robust; the brief fear in his eyes gone. His eyes now flare blue in unison and his grip becomes tighter and would be crushing if Chanyeol was human.

Both breathing heavily, nostrils flaring as they glare and snarl fiercely at each other. Jongin’s clearly challenging Chanyeol, but Chanyeol only snarls louder and fiercer in return.

Jongin gasps and cowers once more and true fear settles in. 

Chanyeol can  _ smell  _ it. He lets his canines elongate and blood from his nose runs warm once more over his lips. He knows he looks vicious, he  _ must _ , the anger swelling inside him is almost uncontrollable at this point. 

_ “Exploit his defenselessness to your advantage. Make him submit.” _

Jongin chokes as Chanyeol’s grip tightens. Chanyeol knows he’s adding too much pressure, he knows he could crush Jongin’s windpipe, and he knows he doesn’t want that, but his inner wolf - his  _ Máni  _ wants it. 

Moments pass and Jongin’s grip falters around Chanyeol’s wrists giving Chanyeol the chance he needs. With all his strength, Chanyeol forces Jongin down onto his knees, seething and baring his teeth as he does. Jongin’s feet hit the ground and his knees buckle instantly. 

Chanyeol’s ready to dominate him, ready to force Jongin down and bite him, and he thinks he has the upper hand but then his stomach drops. His eyes widen in panic as Jongin’s muscles begin to move and flex under his skin unnaturally as it did earlier, as it did last night. The whites of his eyes darken as both of Jongin’s iris shine an intense blue. 

Chanyeol watches Jongin’s teeth grow similar to his and a snout starts to form. The tips of his ears turn, too as they did earlier.

The werewolf inside Jongin is starting to come forth. 

_ He’s losing him.  _

“ _ Fuck _ ,” Chanyeol grits out as Jongin starts to rise once more with newfound strength courteous to the beast inside, but Chanyeol can’t afford to waver. He can’t let the beast transform or he’ll lose him. Jongin’s state of mind isn’t strong enough to force the beast to back down. Chanyeol  _ must _ assert his dominance and he  _ must _ do it  _ now _ .

Mustering up every last bit of his strength, on the edge of shifting himself, Chanyeol places his other hand on the crook of Jongin’s shoulder with an equal bruising grip as he has on his throat he takes a large step forward. With a gasp, Jongin’s taken by surprise when Chanyeol presses his body close to Jongin’s all the while growling and snarling ferociously, deafening Jongin’s sounds as he begins to tremble under Chanyeol’s force. 

‘ _ I need him on his back. Just on his back then I’ll have him, _ ’ Chanyeol says to himself. He  _ needs  _ him on his back so Jongin can truly submit to him, but Jongin doesn’t give up right away, or the beast inside doesn’t. Jongin’s eyes are still wild and his teeth are bare but there’s a mixed expression contorted on his face. One of fear and anger.

There’s a struggle inside Jongin; Chanyeol can see it. Jongin wants to be afraid but the beast won’t allow him.

“ _ Stop _ !” Chanyeol finally barks and Jongin falters once more and falls down to his knees with a hard thud.  _ He’s almost there _ . 

Chanyeol tightens his grip on Jongin’s throat, now choking him. Chanyeol can feel that Jongin wants to let go but the beast won’t relent, but neither will Chanyeol. Chanyeol is an  _ alpha _ . Chanyeol will be  _ his  _ alpha. Jongin begins choking for air and his hands fall limp at his side as his body stops morphing and reverts back to human.

“ _ Down _ !” Chanyeol demands, piercing his gaze into Jongin’s eyes and watches intensely as one eye flickers back to brown while the other stays sapphire blue. 

Then Jongin places both hands on Chanyeol’s wrists, desperately trying to pry them off him, but Chanyeol doesn’t ease off- he does the opposite and increases his grip. His biceps bulge and strain under the immense pressure and for a moment he worries that he could crush Jongin’s neck or break his collarbone. If Jongin weren't part beast, he would have by now.

Finally, with a loud cry, Jongin’s body caves and he falls to the ground,  _ hard _ . Chanyeol follows and forces Jongin from his knees to his back, quickly straddling his waist. Chanyeol leans down toward Jongin’s neck, and in a last-ditch effort, Jongin tries to push Chanyeol’s face away; tugging and pulling his hair, but Chanyeol ignores it. Jongin even hits Chanyeol's already broken nose; he doesn’t let up. He’s so,  _ so  _ close, there’s no way he’s giving in.

“ _ Enough _ ,” Chanyeol grits out, and Jongin whines, fully relenting and goes limp under him and Chanyeol takes the opening of submission. Chanyeol removes one hand from Jongin’s throat to pin the arm that’s yanking at his hair. Jongin continues to keep a strong grip on one of Chanyeol’s wrist, lying helplessly. 

Chanyeol uses his other hand to yank Jongin’s head to the side and expose his neck. Basking in the moment of forcing Jongin to submit, Chanyeol slowly leans down and sniffs the crook of Jongin’s neck where his scent glands are. It’s  _ intoxicating _ , the scent of fear and submission. It makes Chanyeol’s mouth water - literally - and as soon as he opens his mouth to latch on to the crook of Jongin’s neck, drool pours out, covering the other’s skin in saliva and blood before he bites down.  _ Hard _ .

The yowl Jongin lets out is a horrifying blend between beast and man. The sound is leaving Jongin’s mouth but it’s coming from the beast inside him and it’s music to Chanyeol’s ears, and only adds to the raw and animalistic power he feels swelling in his chest and giving him a high that emanates  _ Alpha _ . He  _ is  _ an alpha and Jongin  _ will  _ submit to him. With his mouth clamped on Jongin’s neck, Chanyeol removes his bruising grip from Jongin’s face to pin his other arm to the floor. 

Chanyeol revels in Jongin’s compliance as he keeps his hold on him. 

Right now, Jongin’s scent is telling Chanyeol that he’s begging to be controlled, longing to be dominated, and that’s exactly what Chanyeol plans to do. 

_ Dominate Jongin. _

Chanyeol’s eyes flutter shut as he drinks in Jongin’s willingness. Jongin smells absolutely  _ divine _ , and whether he knows it or not, he’s secreting pheromones that are laced with docility. The scent is foreign to Chanyeol because it’s not a scent of a Lycan but it’s not exactly all human either. It’s an exotic mixture of the two that sends chills down Chanyeol’s spine. 

The alpha stays latched onto Jongin until Jongin’s body lays heavy under his. Even as Jongin lies pliant beneath him Chanyeol doesn’t want to let go, not just yet. He wants to continue basking in this power trip he’s taken, extricating his status over the beast inside Jongin; making it known who’s in charge and who will be obedient. So Chanyeol stays on top of Jongin a little longer.

Through the high of dominance, Chanyeol focuses his energy on Jongin in another way. He searches and searches, looking for Jongin’s Máni. He finds it, barely, so small and fragile - the dimmest warmth but it’s there. Chanyeol hums as he attempts to connect their spirits. He wants to nurse Jongin’s back to fullness, to even out the loud, cold dark that surrounds its pitiful form.

But Jongin’s too weak to reciprocate. 

When Chanyeol finally pulls away, there's a trail of blood and saliva connecting from Jongin’s neck to his lips. Chanyeol continues to keep Jongin pinned to the ground; he can’t risk losing control over Jongin until he  _ knows  _ it’s Jongin and  _ only  _ Jongin lying on the cold ground.

After several minutes go by without sensing any danger, Chanyeol lets go of Jongin’s wrists and sits back on his haunches on the other’s lap. Chanyeol gazes through heavy lids down at Jongin as he calms down. His own breaths are heavy, shaking with adrenaline and exhaustion, and his vision becomes less hazy. Under him, Jongin lies dormant, staring wide-eyed to the side still exposing his neck. There are tear stains down his cheeks and more collecting at the corners of his eyes, threatening to shed. He looks completely defenseless now unlike the fear-raged beast that challenged him moments earlier.

Chanyeol looks at the bite wound on Jongin’s neck, admiring his work. There are clear signs of his normal teeth imprinted on Jongin’s skin and there’s a couple of droplets of blood from where his canines had punctured through his skin. It’s swollen and pink and the skin around the imprints redden, but to Chanyeol it’s beautiful because it’s his mark; a mark of an alpha.

Jongin whines in between his labored breaths and does it again when Chanyeol shifts slightly on his lap, but this time higher pitched and wantonly. It’s then that Chanyeol notices Jongin’s arousal pressing against his bare ass. The fabric that separates them is thin; everything can be felt so Chanyeol feels every time Jongin’s length twitches against him. It’s not uncommon for the submissive one to become aroused, after all, the mating ritual is similar to sans aggression.

“ _ Jongin _ ,” Chanyeol calls, voice hoarse and low. Purposefully using a timbre tone as Minseok instructed him to in order to keep the positions clear of who’s alpha and who’s submitting. 

Jongin doesn’t turn to look at him, however; he merely whimpers. Chanyeol snarls and reaches down to grab Jongin by the jaw and forces him to look at him. Chanyeol’s golden narrowed eyes immediately soften at the sight of Jongin: his plump lips are full and his eyes are watery and blown wide with amativity. He looks completely  _ wrecked _ .

Chanyeol’s groin burns.

Swallowing hard, Chanyeol manages to find the words he lost for a moment. “You’ll address me as Alpha,” he says, still holding Jongin’s face. “Do you understand?”

It takes a moment but Jongin carefully nods his head.

“ _ Say it _ ,” Chanyeol growls, tightening his grip on Jongin’s jaw.  _ He needs to say it. _

Jongin whimpers. “I-I understand, Alpha,” his voice cracks, but it pleases Chanyeol nonetheless. 

“From here on out you will do as I say, when I say it. You will sleep where and when I say to. You will eat when I say to, and you’re not to wander around inside or outside the Yew without my permission. You won’t even get to piss without my knowing about it. Do I make myself clear?”

Jongin stays quiet.

“ _ Jongin _ ,” Chanyeol barks.

Jongin nods quickly as tears spill down his cheeks. “Yes, Alpha…”

Satisfied, Chanyeol lets go of Jongin’s jaw and carefully rises, ignoring the ache in his groin and promptly dismissing Jongin’s arousal. He leaves Jongin on the ground even as much as he wants to offer him a hand to get up but it’s part of the ritual- at least for the first time. He can’t show an ounce of compassion, or  _ weakness _ , because he knows the beast is watching  _ — waiting  _ for Chanyeol to cave. 

So leaving Jongin, Chanyeol trudges back over to the firepit and sits on the bench. He fixes his nose, quickly jerking it to the side to straighten it out. Carefully Chanyeol touches his nose, picking off the crusted, dried blood on his face. He’ll have to clean it up later because he has to deal with something else right now. 

Chanyeol puts his face in his hands and groans. 

He knows it’s coming.

There’s so much pent up raw power deep inside him that wants to come out still. His inner wolf is  _ unsatisfied  _ and is raging. It wants to continue dominating Jongin, to mark him and scent him, to fuck him until he can’t remember his own name, but he  _ can’t _ . 

He can’t and it’s  _ frustrating _ .

Coming down from a power high is a lot to deal with, but Minseok warned him about the recoil he’d go through.

_ “Recoil.” Minseok had called it. “The recoil is going to be your truest test of strength, Chanyeol.” _

_ “What do you mean, Head Alpha?” _

_ Chanyeol watched Minseok stand and move away from his desk, carding a hand through his snow white hair. “The pure power you’ll feel once you bite him will be overwhelming. You’ll want to...ruin him.” Minseok turns away from Chanyeol. The flames from the small candle flickering a soft pattern across Minseok’s sturdy shoulders. “You’ll want to completely take him apart. You’ll feel broken while simultaneously trying to piece yourself together as you continue to fall apart.” _

_ Minseok turns back around, his eyes shimmering red. “You’ll never experience anything like it, but for the sake of the stars, don’t go near him until you’ve settled down.” _

But even with the warning, nothing could prepare him for the  _ agonizing _ ache of having so much raw energy with nowhere to release it brings him. Chanyeol is strong but his arms and legs tingle restlessly; an itch deep,  _ deep  _ down in his bones that he can’t scratch. His stomach feels hot and he’s on the verge of vomiting. Silently, Chanyeol’s asking for death at this point.

It’s really too much. 

Chanyeol clenches his fist tightly before slamming his hand down at his side, repeatedly hitting the wooden bench with so much force that the bench rattles. He feels the skin of his hand begin to raw from the constant slamming on the wood surface. Chanyeol brings his hand up once more and slams it down hard enough to crack the bench before he covers his face with both hands now and yells into his hands. He doesn’t know what to do with this energy. He feels as if he has a hundred hungry wolves scratching to get out. It’s such an overwhelming feeling; he feels restless with strength begging to be released -specifically on Jongin. He wants to fight but he also wants to vomit. 

He wants the power out of him.

Chanyeol scrapes his fingers against his scalp, tugging his hair tightly, gritting his teeth together, and shutting his eyes tight. He whimpers.

Chanyeol puts his face in his hands and sobs. It’s not a desperate cry, no- it’s a cry of  _ frustration _ .

He doesn’t know how long he sits there sobbing into his hands but finally,  _ finally _ , his body begins to relax. The ache deep in his bones eases and the restlessness subsiding, but most importantly, his mind isn’t clouded by the unyielding need to dominate. 

It’s still several more minutes until he’s able to collect himself fully and force himself up to check on Jongin. He had forgotten that he had left him lying there. He didn’t mean to, at least not for so long. 

Chanyeol rustles in his bag to grab a new pair of trousers, slipping them on with ease. When he stands, he looks over at Jongin to find him slowly getting to his hands and knees. Chanyeol stays where he is, watching Jongin try to stand only to fumble, landing back on his hands. Part of Chanyeol wants to help Jongin up, to check on him, and make sure he’s okay but he knows he shouldn’t. He shouldn’t be so kind so fast - he already made that mistake earlier. 

Jongin finally sits back on his haunches, hands on his thighs, and his breathing is heavy but not rapid.

Chanyeol stands tall, glaring down at Jongin. The tension between them is thick, heavy like winter snow, and almost suffocating. 

Jongin lifts his head, glowering at Chanyeol through his messy, sweat tousled hair. His eyes aren’t glowing but it’s a menacing sight nonetheless. It puts Chanyeol on guard.

“What the fuck did you do to me?” Jongin says, speaking slow and harsh.

Chanyeol looks him over, breaking eye contact easily, and looks down to the marking on his shoulder where he had imprinted him only a little while ago. The mark is still red, the blood is dried and crusted and it looks swollen where the teeth indents are. 

When Chanyeol takes a beat too long to answer, Jongin clenches his fists tightly. “I said _ what the fuck did you do to me _ !” he shouts; desperation in his tone.

“I don’t answer to you,” is what Chanyeol says, steady and sure. “You don’t get to demand answers from me.”

“T-This mark—, “Jongin grits out, on the verge of tears, “you fucking  _ bit  _ me. Why the  _ fuck  _ did you do it.”

“Calm down, Jongin, “Chanyeol says.

At this, Jongin lowers his head and sobs. “What do you mean calm down? How? You’re a fucking  _ mosnter holding me hostage  _ in this piece of shit hole.”

Chanyeol exhales through his nose, keeping his composure. To see Jongin like this is hurting him; a tight ache deep in his chest. This isn’t who he is, no. Chanyeol wants to so badly comfort him, to cradle him and shush him and let Jongin know that things will be okay, but he can’t. God damnit, he can’t.

“Get up,” Chanyeol orders impassively, turning away. 

Jongin lifts his head up quickly with a look of disbelief. “Are you listening to me, you  _ monster _ ?!” Jongin lashes out suddenly. “How do you expect me to calm down? Y-You’re not answering me, you’re not telling me shit!”

At this, Chanyeol turns back around, eyes narrowed and face contorted nastily. “I said, get up. That’s an order.”

“Fuck you,” Jongin spits. 

“ _ On your feet _ ,” Chanyeol growls low violently. 

This time, Jongin freezes, his eyes wide - frightened even - as his body tenses up. It’s what Chanyeol wants for him, but it’s not enough. 

Not yet. 

To make a point, Chanyeol grabs the small box off the wardrobe and grabs the vial of Månbarn from inside and stalks over to Jongin, teeth bared and eyes glinting yellow. Jongin falls back on his ass, not removing his eyes from Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol kneels down in front of Jongin, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him in close. Jongin’s scent hits Chanyeol hard. He takes in a deep inhale, savoring the honey scent once more. The urge to top him rises up inside him but he ignores the need to bite Jongin again. 

“What did I tell you?” Chanyeol asks simply, but his timbre is dark.

“I don’t have to answer to you,” Jongin grits out, voice wavering. 

Chanyeol can smell his fear and before Jongin can even think, Chanyeol shoves Jongin down on his back, pinning down with one arm. He leans in, holding Jongin down with his weight, and as he gets closer Jongin struggles under him.

“No,” Jongin gasps. “No, no, no  _ stop _ !”

Chanyeol stops mere inches from the wound on the crook of his neck and lifts his head so his lips are on the shell of Jongin’s ear. “ _ You _ don’t have to answer to me,” Chanyeol rumbles, “but that beast inside you  _ does  _ if you want to survive. And I know he can hear me, and you, Jongin, better listen carefully because if I can’t control that beast inside then I will kill you.”

Chanyeol hears Jongin swallow.

“I’m going to give you a drop of something to calm you down. You need to take it because you’re not only a danger to me and my pack - my  _ kind  _ \- but a danger to yourself, and if you don’t listen to me then you’ll force my hand.” Chanyeol pulls away and eases off Jongin.

He gazes down at a shocked Jongin, silent tears dripping from Jongin’s eyes, staining his cheeks. 

“What am I? What are you?” Jongin asks, quietly.

“Open,” Chanyeol commands, popping the cork off the vial with his mouth. 

“I—”

“Jongin, this isn’t going to hurt you,” Chanyeol assures, taking some pity. “It’s going to relax you. Now show me your tongue.”

Hesitantly, Jongin does as he’s told and opens his mouth, barely sticking his tongue out. Chanyeol dips his finger into the elixir and carefully brings his finger to Jongin’s mouth. “It’s just a drop.”

“I don’t want to fall asleep again,” Jongin pleads. “Please, don’t make me—”

“It’s going to calm you down, Jongin. It’s a natural herb. I promise. Now open up.”

Jongin nods and opens his mouth once more, letting Chanyeol dab his tongue with the tip of his finger. Jongin closes down on his finger, gently, and licks. 

Chanyeol fights the flush he feels heat upon his chest, hoping it doesn’t spread to his cheeks. 

“There,” Chanyeol says, pulling his finger away. “Thank you, Jongin.”

Chanyeol caps the vial and stands. He grabs the box and brings it with him to the pit. “We need to talk, Jongin,” he says, “come here.”

Jongin doesn’t respond so Chanyeol calls his name again. “ _ Jongin… _ ”

Jongin slowly sits up, leering at Chanyeol. He looks so fragile, so sad. So... defeated. 

“Alpha,” Jongin whispers as if on autopilot. 

Before Chanyeol had basked in the glory of the title but now it makes him cringe. He hates it. It's not who he is but it’s who he has to be. It’s necessary. “Come. I’ll explain everything and cook for us,” he says as steadily as he can.

The silence is hard between them as Chanyeol goes through one of his sacks and grabs a pullover. As he slips it on, the shirt catches on his nose and he remembers he still has blood on his face. He reaches in the sack for a small canteen - making a mental note he’ll have to boil some water for them to drink. 

As he washes off his nose as carefully as he can, he watches from his peripheral as Jongin sits up slowly but doesn’t move much more. 

Chanyeol won’t call him again, so he waits for Jongin to move. As he waits, Chanyeol walks past Jongin and removes the rod from the door, setting it to the side. He grabs an old dusty bucket that’s sitting off to the side near the door. Quickly he opens the door and fills it with snow before relocking the door once more as it was before. He carries the bucket over to the pit, bypassing Jongin without a single glance, and waits for Jongin to join him by the firepit.

By the time Chanyeol puts meat on the rack, Jongin finally ambles over to the pit. He doesn’t come closer. Instead, he stands at the entrance right before the steps leading down into the pit and obediently waits for permission. 

“Enter,” Chanyeol says gruffly, not looking up from where he’s checking the meat. 

Jongin must have reacted quickly to the Månbarn; it shouldn’t be this easy for a werewolf to fall in line, but Jongin does as he’s told and steps down into the pit to sit on the opposing bench. Chanyeol hears Jongin’s stomach growl and it breaks the tension if only a little bit.

“Meat?”

Jongin doesn’t speak.

“It’s deer,” Chanyeol offers. He dips his hand into the bucket and rubs his face with his hand, carefully washing away the dried blood. His nose is still sore and he knows it’ll bruise, maybe even give him a black eye, but he hopes Yixing will have a remedy to help heal it.

Jongin glances up at Chanyeol with a hardline between his brows, but it immediately disappears when Chanyeol catches his gaze. Jongin looks away almost shamefully as Chanyeol pats his mouth and chin dry on his sleeve. 

The moments pass over them. Jongin doesn’t answer Chanyeol instead he asks, “What am I? Please, tell me what’s going on.”

Chanyeol swallows hard and pokes the meat with a meat hook.  _ They weren’t meant to exist _ , he remembers Minseok saying. An  _ abomination _ , unnatural. Dangerous and impure. He’s heard it all, even back when Luhan was around. It never sat well with Chanyeol; how can a creature that wasn’t meant to exist, by all means, exist? 

Jongin glows in the dim light of the flame, Chanyeol can’t imagine someone as ethereal as Jongin being some abomination.

Chanyeol sighs and looks Jongin in the eyes. “Do you know what a werewolf is?”

“Yes, of course, I do. It’s what  _ you  _ are.”

“No, what a  _ real  _ werewolf is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL!! What do you think? ovo
> 
> Please feel free to ask questions!!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I hope to see you in the next chapter!! 
> 
> NOTES: Vocab
> 
> Monkshood - green - poisonous  
> Månbarn - clear - sedative
> 
> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/MlNMOONGlE) or ask questions on my [CC](https://curiouscat.me/MlNMOONGlE)!!

**Author's Note:**

> Aahh, what did you think? Any thoughts or concerns? Did it go how you expected it to? hehe
> 
> So! I plan to update regularly, however, with school starting back and with the unknown of the COVID-19 crisis here in the United States it might be a minute or two until I can post the next chapter. But! Until then, please feel free to ask questions or comment or find me on twitter to chat or ask questions. I swear I'm an open book!
> 
> ▷ [cc](https://curiouscat.me/MlNMOONGlE)  
> ▷ [twit](https://twitter.com/MlNMOONGlE)


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